A Dream Begotten By Nightmares
by Pearlinprocess
Summary: Futurefic, set when the kids are in their late 20's. Since the love of her life disappeared into the jungle of his birth, Helga has been trying and failing to get over him and live her own life. But when tragedy befalls her, she must survive it for herself, for her daughter, her family and friends. That her old flame is back in the picture, well that's just one big bonus, bucko.
1. The Nightmare Begins

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Author's notes/Warnings (PLEASE READ): This fic is rated M for a good reason - It contains graphic violence, rape/non-con, and some minor character death. Please proceed at your own discretion. There will eventually be consensual sexy funtimes, but there is a hell of a storm before the calm. Hope you all enjoy!

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Helga pulled the lavender nightgown over her young daughter Alice's head, brushing her untidy hair smooth at her vanity afterwards. There was mostly silence between her and her precious princess where there would usually be talking and laughter, but they did smile at one another in the mirror, besides a short sigh from Helga now and then. She had finally had the "father's" custody removed.

It was almost kind of funny - Helga had promised herself that she would never wind up with a man that hit her like her own father had, or who drank like her mother. She ended up with a guy that did both. Not that he had been like that when they first met, of course. The deceptive prick had carried the aura of a "sensitive" guy, with good manners and progressive ideals, agreeing with all her feminist talk because hey besides the unibrow that she stubbornly insisted on keeping, she was pretty hot. She wasn't a superstar by any means, not even a "starlet" like Rhonda and Lila had become, but she had gotten a few minor movie parts in Hollywood, and had written a few things for them, as well as a couple novels and a book of poetry. Her true passion was of course still writing, but writing just didn't make much money. She knew how to look pretty if she gave a damn to, but she honestly didn't much care about it. But the work set her up pretty well, so she sucked it up and shaved her legs for a while, since she was lucky enough to naturally have the kind of body that Hollywood wanted, and she knew it wouldn't last forever. She figured she could still write the few masterpieces she had in mind when she was thirty-something and therefore never to be considered remotely hot in Hollywood again.

That was where she met him, Robert Robertson. Big Hollywood party for the movie she was in, which she also helped write the screenplay for. He showed up as part of the lead male actor's entourage, all charm, flashing money, and for whatever reason, he set his sights on Helga. It was one thing to be upper-middle class like the Patakis, but people who were as rich as him and his ilk usually got that rich by being complete assholes, but pretending to be decent people, pretending to actually feel the emotions they faked. And to his credit, he did fake the emotions Helga wanted to see fairly well, and he took her globe-hopping to London, Paris, Amsterdam (they stayed a few extra days there to be honest), Hong Kong, Tokyo, Hawaii and more, just like she had always wanted, but in the end he had finally admitted that he actually was the complete opposite of what he had claimed, that he had married her with no intention of continuing the marriage more than a few years. Apparently however long it took to create an heir or two, and damn it Helga was more fertile than she liked. And apparently since their firstborn was a girl, and of course because Helga was uncooperative once she learned the truth about him, he was fine with just one. But of course a neurotic bipolar moron like her would fall for a lying sociopath like him, it was a match made in heaven! No wait, the other place.

She'd been so stupid to fall for it. Her own shallowness had been the most to blame for her situation, though. Robert (Crimini, why did she not run the second she learned he shared her father's name?) bore a sort of resemblance to her one true, long-lost love, Arnold Shortman, whom she hadn't seen or heard from in years. They had written for a few years after they had dated and broken up, and Arnold had moved to live with his parents in San Lorenzo, maintaining a long-distance friendship until one day he just stopped responding.

At first she tried not to worry too much, as Arnold's letters often took a while to come in. There were considerably less post offices in the jungle of a third world country, after all. She tried sending him three more letters with no response before she finally consulted with his old friend Gerald about it. He confided that Arnold hadn't been responding to him recently either, but last he'd heard Arnold was busy with some pretty important stuff concerning the tribe of Green Eyed people, which were apparently more important than not just her, but everyone else, including his own grandparents, even they hadn't heard from him in awhile. She tried to hold up hope that this important stuff wouldn't keep him too long, that maybe he'd pick back up where they left off eventually, but years passed, then longer years. She graduated from high school, then went on to college. So Helga eventually came to believe that he had taken the opportunity to cease communication with her and everyone else because he had a new life. It was better than thinking he might be dead at least. Either way, she decided to take the hint and move on. Except, not.

Robert looked an awful lot like Arnold in a lot of ways. He didn't have the trademark football shaped head, but other than that they had more than not in common physically. Golden wheat hair, gorgeous green eyes, and a shorter stature than her. At first Robert had a kind smile that she went stupid for, said the exact words he knew she and all the other girls wanted to hear. At first he showered her with attention and fancy gifts, as that was one thing Robert was that Arnold was not - Filthy rich. Richer than Helga by quite a bit. So when she had gotten pregnant by him (though they had been using protection, or so Helga had believed) she decided to keep the baby and try to raise it with him, because he seemed "good enough". He was sweet to her, and more than financially stable. What more could she ask for? He even got along with her parents, they genuinely liked him. Yeah, that really should have been a huge red flag, but what Helga had wanted to believe was true love and a cushy life blinded her to otherwise. So when he had asked to marry her, she had agreed, and the ceremony was over before she had even begun to show.

That was when he had started getting possessive. When he introduced Helga to his friends, he would say, "This is MY wife, the mother of MY child." and sometimes even forget to mention her name altogether. He would fuss over her, forbid her from doing things he deemed unhealthy for her and the baby, and manipulate and guilt-trip her into obeying him for the baby's sake. Then four weeks after Alice was born, he hit her for the first time. Though, to say he 'hit' her would be a massive understatement. The violence was prompted by an argument stemming over Helga refusing to have sex with him, still healing as she was from the birth, and him drunkenly refusing to accept her choice without a fight. Helga had once liked to have one drink too many at dinner parties, as she was exactly 21 when their romance commenced, but once she learned she was pregnant she had stopped drinking completely, not wanting to be the kind of mother to her child that her mother had been to her. Her husband had not stopped. He didn't manage to rape her, he was so drunk he probably couldn't have pulled it off even if she had consented, but the both of them ended up bloody and bruised by the end of it. There was no promise afterwards to never do it again, he blamed his violence on her "actions", or lack thereof, and dismissed his own violence due to his drinking. She in turn did not award him any second chances. She documented her injuries at the hospital, filed for divorce, and took her daughter with her.

Unfortunately it's not that easy to just walk away from a person who shares DNA with your child. He filed for custody and they had spent the last four years bickering over it in and out of court, sneering at each other at court ordered visits. Even though Robert made it more than clear that he was more interested in getting other women pregnant instead of taking care of Alice, even though he had refused to take his court ordered drug tests whilst Helga complied and passed, it had taken Alice getting hurt for the bastards at CPS to finally take Helga seriously and cease her ex-husband's parental rights. She had come home to Helga limping with a badly sprained ankle and Robert would not provide an explanation, so she documented that too and pressed charges.

He had been indignant, sent her angry text messages claiming that she had no right to take away HIS daughter. She responded only one last time to insult his manhood, then forwarded the rest of his messages to the police and filed for a restraining order. Today the final formalities had been settled and though Helga was weary, supposedly it was over at last. Alice's physical injuries were almost done healing by then, but it would probably take her a bit longer to fully heal emotionally.

She brushed the little angel's golden wheat hair slowly, deep in thought, until the phone rang, causing her to jump and get the brush caught in a tangle. Alice whined about it and Helga quietly cursed and quickly put the brush aside and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" She answered, and a chirpy high pitched voice answered back in kind. "Oh, hey Phoebe." Helga could almost see her friend's pretty smile and kind eyes as she politely asked Helga how she was doing.

"Just fine. Just getting Alice ready to go over to Olga's for a sleepover. How about you Phoebe? How's the little one doing?" Helga beamed for her friend. After years of trying to get pregnant with her long-time boyfriend and husband Gerald, Phoebe had finally managed it. Though it had taken some fertility treatments, Phoebe had excitedly informed her three weeks ago that she had finally passed the dreaded 3 month probation period.

Except, there was an uncomfortably long pause after she asked this, then she heard a choked gulp. "Phoebe-?" She finally dared to ask, and tears welled in her own eyes as she heard the bespectacled young woman let out a sob. "Oh no, Pheebs..." She sighed, feeling her heart sink even before her friend finally said it.

"W-We lost h-him..." She moaned, "His heart just, s-stopped... I just got home from the hospital yesterday, I just had him... Removed." Phoebe doubled over at the last word, curling up into a ball with the phone pressed against her ear. "M-My doctor... She's advised me that I shouldn't try to carry again..."

"I'm so sorry Phoebe. I'm so damn sorry..." She whispered, beginning to brush her daughter's hair again when the child began to look fretful over her mother's sudden change in mood. Helga was at a loss what to say next, but then the doorbell buzzed, and Alice exclaimed, "It's Auntie Olga!" Though her parents for whatever reason adored Alice, Helga didn't trust them with her very often, unless she had no choice. Her mother had been doing better with the drinking while she was working, but the news station she had been working for in Helga's teenage years had recently replaced her with a younger, blonder woman, and she had reportedly taken up the drink again. And Bob was... Bob. Both she and Alice much prefered Olga, the toddler positively loved her and Helga for the most part trusted her.

"Oh, Phoebe, I'm so sorry," Helga repeated, distractedly trying to calm Alice down, who was now jumping up in the air. "Olga just showed up to get Alice - I'm so sorry to do this to you now, but can I call you back in just fifteen-" Helga quickly reconsidered her words. "Well, hell, it's Olga, she's probably gonna talk my head off before she goes, but can I call you back in no more than thirty minutes? I swear I'll call you back in thirty minutes, ok?"

"Of course, Helga." Phoebe sniffled understandingly. "Tell Alice her Aunt Phoebe says she loves her..." Helga's daughter had grown up seeing her mother's best friend as part of the family.

"Of course, Pheebs." Helga decided to do so now before Olga swept up the toddler's attention with all her amazing perfectness. "Alice, Aunt Phoebe says-" That was all Helga managed to get out before her capricious daughter snatched her phone away from her and held it to her own ear, still bouncing.

"Hi Auntie Phoebe I love you too I'm sleeping over at Auntie Olga's tonight and then tomorrow she's takin' me to a baseball game and then she's gonna buy me a new dress I think I'm gonna get a purple one and then I'm gonna wear it to the Jungle Cafe for dinner the one with the waiters in gorilla costumes okay I love you bye bye now!" Alice had a very impressive vocabulary for her age, clear to be a genius like her mother, but the concept of run-on sentences hadn't touched base with her yet. She tossed the phone back to her mother then raced down the stairs to meet her beloved Auntie at the door.

"Wait for me, Alice!" Helga called to her, then returned to the phone. "Sorry again Pheebs, I swear on my life I'll call you back in thirty, even if I have to slam the door on Olga's big mouth. If I don't call you back it means I'm being murdered okay?" Helga said jokingly.

"Don't worry about it, Helga." Phoebe assured her with a weak laugh. "I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah, for sure. Later Pheebs." Helga agreed, ending the call and laying the cell phone down on her daughter's vanity before rushing down the stairs to open the door for her sister.

Olga thankfully didn't bore her for long, apparently only two off-Broadway auditions had called her back this week and nothing had been new with the inner city kids she tutored or the burn victims she held puppet shows for. After relaying this non-news she let Helga go and took Alice with her. Helga sighed in relief after she shut the door, not locking it right away because she planned to go get the mail. She climbed up the stairs and went to retrieve her cell phone from where she'd left it on her daughter's vanity.

After grabbing her cell phone she headed to her own room down the hall, intending to get a coat to put on before she headed down the street to get her mail, then call Phoebe right after. But on her way, as she passed the stairs, she noticed something black in the corner of her eye. She turned her head to see what it was, then froze in instant confusion and terror. A man she didn't know, an older black man wearing a black sweater over blue jeans, had just closed the front door behind him.

He spotted her right after she spotted him, just when she was about to consider making a run for her bedroom, where she kept a gun in her closet, he pulled out a gun of his own from beneath his coat and pointed it at her. She almost wanted to scream in fright and rush for her weapon, until he commanded her, deadly serious, "Don't make a sound. Don't move, or I'll kill you."

She gasped, almost silently, feeling as though she had already been shot. He added to her, "Walk down the stairs, slowly."

She obeyed, her heart pumping quicker with ever step she took until by the last few steps, she felt like it would burst. She studied his face - It almost might have been a handsome one (strong jaw, brown eyes, bald head) but for the wrinkles of age, a really crooked nose and a big scary scar next to his right ear and jaw, not to mention the mean expression on his face. Before taking the final step, she whispered very quietly to him. "Please. Take whatever you want, just please don't kill me."

He responded with a hard, cold clock to the side of the head, knocking her unconscious.

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( Author's notes: Hi everyone! Thanks for taking the time to read my first fic here, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and if you did I would love if you'd tell me! I will also be updating this fic regularly at archiveofourown dot org just in case it gets deleted for being too explicit, as I've had that happen before. My penname there is also 'pearlinprocess'. Thanks for reading! )


	2. Descending into Darkness

A short while later, she began to come to. She was still in her front hallway, but she was on the ground, her face pressed against the scratchy carpet, rubbing against it harshly because - She gasped suddenly, loudly, because she realized he was behind her, her pajama bottoms were down to her ankles, he was - He was raping her. And her gasp, more of a strangled cry, had been too loud for his liking because he suddenly stopped the jerking motions of his hips and jammed the gun against her forehead. "Shut up." He said simply, then resumed. Nearby the bonsai tree that Phoebe had once gotten her, which normally sat on a stand to decorate the hallway, was knocked over only the floor. She must have knocked it over when she fell.

She tried her best to obey his order, trying to keep her breathing quiet while she was being assaulted, her temple throbbing from the blow to the head from before and the newest one. The actual rape was of course uncomfortable, but to be honest, Helga wished it would hurt even more than it did. Not that she was into that Fifty Shades of Yellow nonsense, she wasn't, but she wasn't the kind of woman who could be easily broken. Helga had grown to be a relatively big woman - She was by no means overweight, at least, not by that much since she'd had the baby, but she was also much taller than the average woman - Five feet and ten inches. The rapist was just a bit bigger than herself. Without the gun involved, Helga would have felt confident fighting back. Fighting and martial arts had always been a favorite study of hers. But one wrong move with a bullet and it was game over.

No, it wasn't the pain or even the discomfort that made it bad, it was the violation, the terror of wondering if the gun might go off, if this person had diseases, because she couldn't be sure but she didn't think he was wearing a condom. And then - Oh god, if he wasn't, her period had been exactly two weeks ago - She prayed for sudden infertility or just plain luck from whatever gods might be listening. Oh yeah, and hell, to not die would be awful nice too, please and thank you very much.

He pinned both her hands behind her back with one hand, then he settled the hand with the gun on the floor by her head. His jerking movements got faster and rougher, and Helga was bitter to admit, he wasn't exactly tiny, and it was starting to hurt now.

He panted, "Nasty bitch, when's the last time you shaved your legs?" She resisted the urge to quip back sarcastically that if she knew in advance she was going to be raped, she might have been more considerate. Thankfully, not much longer after, he convulsed and made weird noises and more pants, and apparently he was done.

"Don't move." He reminded her, as if he had to.

He climbed off of her, then commanded her to get up and get dressed. She pulled up her pants, not daring to turn back and look and him, hoping he'd just go. No such luck.

Suddenly her cell phone began to ring. It was Phoebe's ringtone. The rapist of course commanded her not to answer it. Helga remembered her words from earlier, and bit her lip. Please, she silently begged, as if trying to communicate telepathically with her friend, Please Pheobe, help me, I swore I'd call you back, you know I would, please call the police, something isn't right...

But of course the unhelpful part of her chimed in that even if Phoebe called the police, they'd never get here in time. Especially not if...

"You're coming with me. Don't make a scene or I'll blow your head off. My car is just a few houses down."

Fear gripped her throat, almost choking her. "Plea-P-Please don't k-kill me..." She quietly begged, tears welling in her eyes.

"Shut the fuck up and start walking or I will kill you, you stupid bitch!" He hissed harshly at her, jabbing her in the side with the gun. Just as she walked out the door, and the rapist closed it behind them, her cell phone's voicemail informed her friend that she wasn't available, and halfway across town, an unexplainably sudden and intense feeling of dread overcame Phoebe Johannsen.

Helga walked down the cold and empty street, barefoot except for socks. Her pajamas had long sleeves and was furry and warm, but she would have preferred to have her coat. Other than that she walked down the street almost as if everything was normal, as if the man behind her didn't have a gun concealed in his jacket. She wanted so badly to make a break for it and run, try and get help from a neighbor, but odds were they had been smart and locked their doors. Though that probably wouldn't have helped her that much. This man clearly had intentions from the beginning. He could have just as easily grabbed her when she went to get her mail or even broken into her house regardless.

He nudged her with his elbow towards a black pickup truck. It looked like a Toyoto, not a new model though, probably about 10-15 years old. There was grey tarp over the bed of the truck, obstructing view of whatever was inside, but Helga had a feeling there were probably shovels and duct tape and other such tools underneath. The door to the truck was unlocked, and he quietly but sternly reminded her to get in.

She obeyed. If she didn't, if she made a break for it in any direction, she might get shot. But even if she got lucky and didn't get shot, someone else might. She couldn't live with herself if Alice's little friend Trisha or her mother Sandra died because of her, or any of the neighbors, she couldn't put innocent people in jeopardy to save herself. She swallowed at the dry lump in her throat and got into the passenger seat. To her displeasure, he told her to put on her seatbelt once he got into the car, and of course reminded her that he would shoot her if she tried to jump out of the car. She did as she was told, and put her hands on her lap nicely for good measure. She was going to get out of this somehow. She just wasn't sure how yet.

He began driving. They drove for quite a while, silence between them the whole time. They drove through the city and out of it, onto the freeway. Then they drove down the freeway for quite a long time, at least 2 hours. In that time Helga had a lot of time to think, about all sorts of things. About the sickeningly sticky feeling in her nether regions, all but assuring her that he had indeed not worn a condom. About if she would survive long enough for the former fact to even be an immediate problem to her future. If she would see her daughter again, her family, her friends... Arnold. She almost chuckled, biting her lip so the rapist wouldn't hear anything. Even after all these years, on the worst night of her life, she was still thinking about him. Missing him. Loving him. The ache in her heart for him was even stronger than the fear she felt for the monster sitting next to her. She was determined to get away alive for her daughter alone, but the most miniscule chance that she might see Arnold again was a comforting bonus thought.

But she didn't have the liberty to dwell on that now. She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes once in a while, and noticed that he was doing the same to her. He was driving with one hand the entire time, keeping the other hand close to the gun at his side. He pulled the car off an exit and then drove through a little pissant country town, which they soon left for a wooded road. Helga was getting increasingly nervous as they entered this secluded area. She occasionally watched murder dramas and real life stories at night after Alice went to bed, she was aware that her chances of survival in this kind of place was going drastically down. She knew it but she didn't care. Her hope burned silently inside of her, though she betrayed nothing in her expression or body language.

Her paranoia grew as he pulled the truck off onto a dirt road, heading into the forest. Soon the dirt trail disappeared and they were driving through the forest itself, slowly crunching over dry leaves and fallen twigs and branches. He apparently knew where he was going even without a set path, turning the car in a slightly different direction every once in a while.

This went on for another hour or two. The need to urinate was starting to get desperate. She was almost beginning to consider telling him she needed to go, when suddenly, the car started to make a strange popping noise, and came to a stop. The rapist began to swear, then sighed in annoyance. "Get out. My cabin isn't too much further. We'll walk the rest of the way. If you try to run, I'll shoot you down." Thank you, Mr. Obvious.

So she unbuckled her seat belt, opened the door, and stepped out onto the cold, wet ground. She slowly stepped around to the front of the truck, where a bit of smoke was coming from out of the cracks of the hood. The rapist met her in the middle then nodded his head in front of them. "Walk right next to me. Don't fall behind or go too far." He told her, then began to walk ahead.

She followed him, trying to restrain her shivering and stay alert. She kept him in her sight, but also kept her sight ahead for what was coming. For a while it was just more trees and bushes, until about twenty minutes later, a small squareish shape emerged in the distance, which turned out to be a small cabin. It was dark, but Helga thought she could make out a shovel stuck in the ground in the near distance.

"...Am I going to be your sex slave?" She suddenly asked, surprising the both of them. What she really wanted to know was if she was going to live or die, but she didn't want to put that thought into his mind. She got sick at the thought of what she knew she had to do, but she needed to get back to her little Alice Alexandria, and she'd do whatever she had to.

After a short pause, during which he gave her a hard, unnerving look, he finally answered. "I was going to kill you. I still just might." He added quickly before she got any ideas. "But I guess as long as you be nice to me and clean up and do your womanly duties, then I might keep you." So it was the girlfriend/wife treatment he wanted, was it? Not exactly Helga's forte, but she could do it, and she would. "Now come on. No more talking unless I talk to you, got it?" He took out his gun and motioned her to keep walking towards the cabin. She obeyed.

When they reached the building he informed her that the door was unlocked and to go in. She followed his orders, as well as the next, to strip naked and get underneath the covers on a nearby bed. The blankets were almost soft, as if they had been soft when they were new, but they were not anymore.

She waited, shivering, under the covers until he joined her, which he did after apparently having three shots of an alcohol that Helga couldn't distinguish. Then he brought the gun over to the bed, set it on the nightstand, and crawled into bed and on top of her. He began having sex with her again, almost tender this time, but not really. He wrapped his arms around her in something almost like a hug, but too restrictive, holding her arms to her side while he jerked in and out of her. She still hadn't had the chance to urinate, and to her horror she felt it start to leak. Thankfully, the idiot apparently mistook it for her getting 'wet', and it only got him more excited instead of angry. She somehow managed to restrain the urge to vomit. The last time she had wet the bed, she suddenly remembered, was the day after Big Bob's father's funeral... But she forced herself to stop thinking about that now, as it might really make her vomit.

As he started getting more excited, he grunted to her, "Tell me you want it. Tell me how much you want it."

She resisted the urge to sigh, and instead faked a moan. "Yeah, I like that... I want more..."

She kept up the utterly degrading but convincing performance until he was done, shuddering and panting on top of her. He rolled off to the side where his gun lay and took a moment to catch his breath. Helga didn't say anything. After a few moments of the rapist simply staring into the wall, he directed his eyes back at her. "How old're you?" He asked.

"Twenty seven." She answered, although she accidentally misspoke. She was actually twenty eight. Her birthday had just been a few weeks ago.

"What's your name?"

"Helga."

He pondered this information for a moment, then began speaking again, slowly, thinking. Remembering. "You're a lot younger than me. I'm fifty nine." She resisted the urge to vocalize her disgust. He was almost as old as Bob. "You look a lot like a girl I once knew when I was younger like you. Pretty blonde girl with blue eyes. Her name was Geraldine."

"My middle name is Geraldine." Helga supplied.

"Really." He said it as if he wasn't sure if he believed her, but wanted to. Then a thought seemed to come to him. "Can I call you Geraldine? S'Lot prettier than Helga..."

She was a bit offended, but didn't show it. "Sure, go ahead." She answered.

He was quiet again for a moment or two, then began again. "You can call me Don. Me and Geraldine were a thing back in the day. For a little while. But back then it weren't no small thing for a white girl to be dating a black man. Her daddy and uncles didn't like it none when they found out. They whooped my ass. Damn near killed me. And I never saw Geraldine again."

"I'm sorry. That was wrong of them." Not that it's my fault you knew some racist assholes when you were a kid, she reminded herself, but feigned the Stockholm syndrome bullshit she knew he wanted to see. "You seem like a great guy. You're a really great lover." If terrible was suddenly great.

"Yeah..." He answered absentmindedly. "Stay here." He added, then got up from the bed himself and retrieved his cell phone. He texted to his unknown respondent, 'Change of plans. I'm not going to kill her right away. I'll still kill her, but not for at least a couple months. Either way she's not your problem anymore, but keep the other half for the trouble.'

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Phoebe was nearly tearing her hair out with worry. At first she had tried not to get too worked up too soon. She gave Helga an extra 15 minutes after she'd said she'd call her back before calling back herself, and then another 15 minutes after that, thinking that maybe Olga had gotten caught up with herself. She tried again and again for another hour, and by then, she couldn't help but think something was seriously wrong. No way Helga wouldn't call her back after what she'd told her. Though she already knew what the police would say, she called them anyways and explained the situation. To her disappointment they said exactly what she knew they would, informing her that Helga had to be "missing" for at least a full 24 hours before they could formally declare her missing and search for her.

To try and ease her own mind, Phoebe drove over to Helga's house. Her car was parked in her spot, so Phoebe knocked on the door, then again, and again. A few minutes went by and no one answered. Though she knew Helga always locked up, she tested the door, and to her shock, it opened. She peeked her head inside and called, "Helga?"

The bonsai tree she had given Helga for Christmas two years ago was unceremoniously knocked to the floor, the pebbles that usually surrounded the tree serenely were strewn about. The sight of it instantly gave Phoebe a feeling of dread. Phoebe braced herself and searched the house, which still had most of its lights on as if someone might be home. So she called louder. "Helga!" But still no answer. She searched the whole home. Nobody was there.

At that point Phoebe's heart was racing. She pulled out her cell phone and called 911, and again tried to explain the situation to the operator, who at least agreed to send a dispatcher, but more or less said the same that the other policemen had earlier, and when the dispatcher got there several minutes later, he said the same as well. Without other obvious signs like blood, a broken plant and a broken promise couldn't be taken as a sign of fowl play alone until Helga had been missing for a full 24 hours. He actually even suggested that Helga had gone out to buy a new bonsai and that they should leave before she got back.

"Leave to buy a bonsai at ten at night, after her friend calls to tell her she's had a miscarriage?" Phoebe repeated incredulously to her husband Gerald later that night. "With her car still parked right outside and her shoes by the door?" Phoebe had gotten Helga into the Japanese practice of leaving your shoes at the door, and she'd been doing it faithfully for some years. Nobody walks across town without shoes, even if the rest of the ridiculousness the authorities suggested was remotely believable.

"Phoebe, I feel for you, I'm worried too." Gerald soothed her, holding her smaller, shaking frame to his considerably larger, taller, and firmer one. "But you can't stress yourself out so much right now, you're still healing. We're gonna keep an eye out for her and formally report her missing the second her 24 hours come around. But that's all we can do. We have no idea what might have happened and where she might be-"

"Her neighbors might have seen something! We should ask them-"

He interrupted her interruption, "In the morning. It's-" He briefly looked at the clock. It read 12:48. "Almost one AM now Phoebe, we can't go banging down on people's doors this late at night. If she's not back in the morning, we'll ask everybody on her block if they saw anything. Okay?"

Phoebe buried her head against his chest and let her tears soak his jersey shirt. Gerald didn't care. It was already soiled with sweat from the basketball practice he had just gotten home from. He had almost been about to take a shower until Phoebe burst through the front door, crying. He stroked her back and hugged her closer to him. "I'm sorry baby, but there's nothing else we can do for now..."

Phoebe didn't say anything. She knew he was right. She just hoped, prayed to god, that there would still be something they could do for her later...


	3. Return of the Green Eyed Angel

Helga didn't sleep at all throughout the entire night. He had warned her before he went to sleep himself, sleeping on the side of the bed next to the gun of course, that he was a very light sleeper and that if she moved at any point during the night, he would shoot her. She obeyed almost flawlessly, barely even blinking or breathing throughout the entire night. It was a long, cold, uncomfortble goddamn night. But at least he wasn't a cuddler, thank god, he slept facing away from her, again, to be closer to the gun. As the hours passed she resolved her mind and body to become as cold and numb as the night air.

About half an hour after the first rays of sunlight started peeking through the windows, the rapist and kidnapper began to stir. He got up and took the gun with him outside. Helga stayed still the entire time he was gone, which wasn't that long. When he came back, he motioned with the gun. "Gather the blankets and our clothes together and follow me. I'm gonna take you to the river and you're gonna wash them while I fish upstream. You gonna wash yourself too, and shave your damn legs. I don't want no woman of mine to be lookin' like a man. I'ma be watching you. Don't do anything stupid or you'll regret it. You hear?" She simply nodded, then thinking twice, she added, "Yes sir."

"Get going." He commanded, his voice becoming a little softer.

He gathered a fishing rod and toiletries for her while she gathered the laundry, after which he instructed her to walk exactly beside him as he led her outside the back door. They walked for about half an hour before Helga began to hear the sound of rushing water. A few minutes later and they came to a medium sized, more or less calm river. He instructed her to do her business about 20-30 feet downstream, where a line for laundry was located just a few feet from the bank, then went about his own.

She gladly left him, even if it was only a short distance. She took the first moment of semi-privacy (he was looking at her every once in a while, but mostly engrossed in his fishing) to go to the bathroom by a nearby bush, then she went to work washing herself and the laundry. The water was stinging cold, so she worked as fast as she could, shivering and chattering the whole time. She nicked herself a few times while shaving because she was going so fast and shivering so much, but she got the jobs done. She was glad at least that it was summer. The river water was cold, but at least the warm sun allowed her and the laundry to dry. She relished the time to herself, and though they were out for almost five hours, it seemed far too soon when he came to collect her.

As they walked back to the cabin, he spoke up, "If you need to go to the bathroom, ask permission. Otherwise don't talk to me unless I talk to you, got it?"

Oh, gee, thanks for remembering I'm a human being. "Yes sir."

"You'll cook these fish up for dinner tonight while I work on my car. I'ma be right outside, and I'll be back inside the house in an hour for dinner. Don't try anything stupid. There's some canned vegetables and other food in the pantry to go with the fish. If you waste my food making some disgusting shit, I'll kill you. Got it?"

"Yes sir." Damn was she ever glad for home-ec classes and the experience of cooking for a child semi-regularly. Her heart suddenly ached hard, and tears almost spilled, but she willed them away. She wouldn't, couldn't cry for Alice until she had her sweet, smart, beautiful baby girl back in her arms again.

She did as she was told and prepared a meal to his satisfaction. After tinkering with his car for about an hour, he came back in. She had been careful to keep the meal warm until he came in. She set the table while he washed up, silent all the while.

When he sat down, she waited for him to take the first bite. She knew he knew it would be safe. She looked through the cabin for something to poison him with and had found nothing that he wouldn't be able to easily taste. He chewed slowly, then gave a look of pleasant surprise. "This is really good, Geraldine. Well done."

"Thank you, Don. I'm glad you liked it." She replied nicely, giving him a smile.

He wolfed down half his plate, then spoke up again. "Did I ever tell you about the time me and my brother went to the movies for the first time? Back then going to the movies only cost..."

She did not bring up the fact that he of course had never told her anything, or that she didn't care what he had to say. She listened patiently to his stories, laughed at his jokes, and answered what few questions he had of her. He talked her head off for a good two hours, recalling all sorts of boring old person stories of his childhood. Then he dragged out a game of checkers and challenged her, and she of course let him win. Then he drank a few shots of liquor, which he seemed to have more of than food in his pantry, and led her to the bed. She again gave him a convincing performance. If only to quicken things up. Then he slept facing the gun, and she sat completely still throughout the night.

Days went by and this was generally the routine each time. Sometimes checkers might be chess or some kind of card game, but overall, it was a waiting game. Helga knew she'd get a chance eventually. She just had to be patient, gain his trust, bide her time, and make her move when it was most opportune.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Arnold had come back to the United States a few years prior, but he hadn't yet brought himself to contact most of his old childhood friends. He'd meant to, some more than others, but so far he'd only spoken to Gerald. He had planned to get in contact with his ex-girlfriend Helga and hopefully Lila and the others, but after Gerald had told him she had gone off to Hollywood and gotten married, he felt rather awkward about it. He basically got back just as everyone else was leaving to go to college or otherwise seek their own fortunes. And what else could he expect? It was infantile to think that just because someone was in love with him once upon a time, that she would still have feelings for him so many years later, especially since he hadn't spoken to her at all for many of those years. Again, he really had meant to. But, well, shit happens even in first world countries, let alone third.

The first few years Arnold spent in San Lorenzo was spent in relative tranquility. The city boy had a lot of getting used to to do in the jungle, but he became used to it relatively quickly. Especially with his newly discovered mother and father by his side. He took in their companionship like thirst takes in water. He hunted and explored the jungles with his father, and learned about the plants and their medicinal effects from his mother. Sometimes they lived in a little house in one of San Lorenzo's few little towns so Arnold could still attend school, and sometimes they spent a few months at a time camping out in the jungles. They continued to provide support to the mysterious tribe of Green Eyed People, but they also tried to do what they could for local townspeople, who were often harassed by gangs who came to do business with certain shadier individuals. And if it wasn't the gangs, it was the government itself. Unfortunately, San Lorenzo's civilized areas were ruled by a government that tended to care more about what women did with their bodies than with keeping violent criminals off the streets. Of course the USA could be like that too, but it was pretty rampant in San Lorenzo.

When Arnold was forced to stop responding, it had been because a farming family that lived down the road from the Shortman house got into some trouble with a local drug lord, who was forcing the family to grow coca leaves they needed to make cocaine. They were good people - The father had agreed to do it one year because he desperately needed the money, and since then they had been blackmailing the family to continue doing it. The Shortman family took them into the jungles to hide with the Green Eyed People, and there they had to remain for almost three years until it was reported that the drug lord had been killed in a raid and the rest of his gang either disbanded or was arrested. Only then did Arnold and his family return to the suburban areas of San Lorenzo, where he resumed his studies. Most of the letters that had been sent to him were lost by then. He did manage to retrieve one of Helga's, and he responded to her, but by then she and her family had moved to a new house, and she never received his response.

His new life wasn't all hardship and danger, though. Two years after their reunion, Arnold and his parents were blessed with the birth of a baby girl. Arnold's sister was named Kelly, and he adored no one more in the world. He loved teaching his baby sister things. He missed his grandparents and old friends, but he had never felt more complete than he did living with his parents and sister.

But all good things come to an end, some sooner than others, and a blessing can just as easily become a curse. While on a routine expedition to bring medical supplies to the village of the Green Eyed people, Stella began to have extremely painful stomach cramps. They began making the trek to the nearest hospital, but halfway there, Stella was in so much pain that she needed to be carried, and by the time they made it to the hospital she was nearly at death's door. Once there they were informed by the hospital staff that Stella's fallopian tubes had burst from an ectopic pregnancy. She needed it removed immediately, but San Lorenzo's strict abortion laws forbid her from getting the life saving procedure, and none of the doctors there would do it for fear of going to prison. They didn't have time to seek out anyone else. She died less than three hours after they made it to the hospital.

After that, Miles and Arnold knew Kelly couldn't be safe to grow up in San Lorenzo, and besides that, Stella had really been the one the Green Eyed People trusted and needed the most. Arnold learned many things from his mother, but the elder shaman of the tribe had told Arnold personally that he and the rest of his family needed to go back. The held a great funeral and sending off for Stella together, their last night together, and then the next day the Green Eyed People walked off and disappeared into the jungle, and Miles, Arnold and Kelly walked the opposite way, towards the airport.

Miles rented an apartment about two hours away from Hillwood, and together they visited Phil and Gertie, who were almost like their old selves, but much less energetic, to inform them of the bad news. They grieved together for days. The elderly couple had always been fortunate with their health, but they were much older than many people got by the time their son and grandchildren came back to them, and the news of her untimely passing saddened them greatly. Though she was not their own flesh and blood, Stella had been just as much a family member to them as their own sons. Less than a month after they came back, Phil crashed his car (his eyesight was much poorer than it used to be, but he hadn't wanted to admit it) and died in the ambulance afterwards. Gertie quickly let herself fade away after she learned of it. She stopped eating and drinking. She went to bed hugging his picture and eventually she never woke up.

That was another reason Arnold didn't speak to anyone for a while, in grief as he was for both his biological mother, and the two people who had acted as his surrogate parents in her stead. But he also had a little sister to help look after, and of course he needed to think about his own future. He had the equivalent of a high school diploma, but that wouldn't get him far. He enrolled in the local community college, not sure what for. He only knew he wanted to help people and make the world better like his mother and father did, and protect his baby sister. Almost two years later, he finally made up his mind, and when he finished his schooling, he enrolled into the police force. It just made sense. The civilized world didn't stay that way by chance - The good men and women in blue did their parts to keep it that way, and Arnold decided he would do his. It was just the sort of idealistic nonsense he was good at getting way in over his football shaped head.

He did his grunt work that all the rookies had to bust their chops through, traffic work and DUI checkpoints, but eventually the other cops grew to know Officer Shortman as a man that worked extremely well with people and who was as dependable as they came. He got a reputation as a man who people trusted, who was empathetic with victims of all kinds, and much stronger than his shorter stature suggested. Five years into his career Arnold took the detective's exam at the encouragement of his peers, and to his surprise, he passed with flying colors the very first time. Detective Shortman. It had a nice ring to it.

Though all the departments would have been glad to have him, he requested the SVU, specifically because it was the most challenging and needed his contributions the most. The SVU department in his town was woefully underfunded and shorthanded. The only couple of computers they had were ridiculously old and weren't even covered by the budget, they had been donated years ago. If that wasn't bad enough there was a highway that was part of his jurisdiction that went through a nearby forest and was widely known for having hitchhikers, especially women, go missing on it.

Though of course he would have rushed to look for Helga if he knew she was missing, even with the daunting workload already on his desk, Hillwood wasn't part of his jurisdiction, and he hadn't even heard about her plight. Gerald had made a judgement call not to tell him, not wanting to worry his friend over something when he knew he couldn't do anything about it, especially since no one on the entire street had seen or heard anything that night. Plus it had been hard enough for the young Johannsen couple to tell Helga's sister what little they knew when she arrived the next night to drop off Alice. Like everyone else, Gerald and Phoebe had seen Olga cry plenty of times, but never like she had that night. No use making Arnold worry like that - There were plenty of people that needed his help, people who he actually could do something for. Nobody could do anything for Helga now. She was on her own this time.


	4. Survival of the Fittest

It was the same day after day. Wake up, make breakfast, gather the laundry, wash it by the river while he kept his gun close at hand, get back, cook his dinner, wash the dishes, listen to him go on about himself for about an hour while he had a couple shots or so. Then the part she dreaded most, the part where her acting skills came most in handy, as well as her newly honed ability to completely shut off her emotions, or at least hide them. And at least the day ended after that. Sort of. It ended for him - She spent most of the nights wide awake.

She counted the days. Seven went by. Then another seven, and another. Nothing new happened. No one ever came near the remote location he lived in, not even hikers or hunters. Recently he'd started getting rougher when he had sex with her, restraining her arms tightly and occasionally biting her. The other day he had briefly reached for her neck. She was getting terrified that unless she made some kind of desperate move soon, he might get carried away and kill her by accident, which she assumed would be just as bad as being murdered. Plus the food he provided her wasn't sufficient. She'd found herself staring intently at a nearby fish while doing the laundry one day, and without even thinking about it, she suddenly snatched the creature out of the water and had savagely bitten into it live. She tore out several bloody bitefuls and relished the taste, even though normally she hated cooked fish, let alone raw. She even sucked the fisheyes right out of it's sockets after it was dead and had never tasted anything so good.

She had been formulating a plan the last few days. She had noticed a few nights ago that he had gotten carried away talking about some adventure he'd gone on as a boy, and had talked so long that he'd enjoyed an extra few shots before taking her to his bed. When they got there his performance was pathetically short, and afterwards he went to sleep quickly and even snored, something she'd never heard him do before. She almost wanted to make a break for it then, but she reminded herself to be patient. She was proven to be right when his snoring ceased a short time later, and he got up and took the gun with him while he took a piss.

That day she was especially sweet on him. She joined him after washing the laundry, when she'd normally just keep to herself until he came to get her. When he was working on his car, she brought him a glass of koolaid she'd made from a package found in one of his drawers. She made a large, scrumptious dinner and when he came to get it, she asked him politely, "You worked so hard out there today, you must be thirsty. What can I get you to drink, Don?" She noticed he seemed to like it better when she called him that rather than 'sir'.

"You know what, pretty girl?" He replied with a grin, "We're gonna have something special tonight. Bring out the bottle of vintage bourbon. And you know what..." He paused, as if considering something. "You know what, bring out that green bottle for your own pretty little self."

It was impossible to mistake which bottle he was referring to. It was unmarked but shockingly green in color, giving Helga a good idea of what was inside. The bottle itself was circular but also flat, like a hockey puck, whilst the bourbon was in a standard bottle and labeled as such. She placed both bottles in front of him, as she really didn't feel like drinking tonight, but he insisted, sliding the bottle over to her side of the table.

"Have a shot." He 'offered', his hand nearby the gun on his belt and his eyes fixed on her. She took a deep breath and obeyed, filling her shotglass and gulping it down, face scrunching up afterwards. It wasn't poisoned, but she could hardly tell otherwise with how bitter it was. He laughed at her face. "Oh man, if Geraldine didn't look just like that the first time she had a sip of the green fairy!" He snorted from laughing so much, then filled his own shotglass and swallowed it.

"Ahaha..." She faked a laugh with him, wiping the corner of her mouth. "That sounds like a great story." But she didn't want him thinking about that Geraldine, comparing her to her, so she changed the subject. "Just like that one about you and your brother catching that alligator in your backyard. Would you tell me that one again? That one is my favorite."

"Oh yeah!" He laughed, getting lost in the nostalgia. He hurried to agree to her request, starting his tale and adding even more bravado into it than the first time he'd told it. He poured himself another couple of shots during the story, but he was far from smashed when he was done, and when he was, he 'requested' that she take another shot of her own drink.

She obeyed him, but as soon as the liquid went down her throat, she coughed out, "Oh man, that was great! But what did you guys do with that alligator once you caught it?" And that led him to ramble on another thirty minutes about all the recipes one could use alligator meat in, which he assured her tasted like chicken. After that she asked him to tell her another story she'd already heard, and another. He made her take another shot each time he began one, but he was taking three times as many telling them, and to her surprise, each shot of the green bitterness she took did not make her more sleepy and disoriented as she expected it would - In fact, her senses felt like they were even getting sharper. It didn't make her face and body warm and fuzzy, she was more alert than ever before. But by the look of the blush on Don's face, he was getting the exact effect she was hoping he would. He talked three times as long as he normally did, and drank even more. When he was finally close to done with his meal, laughing to himself over who even knew what, he gestured for her to follow him, slurring out, "C'mon baby girrrrl..." He beckoned her with a finger over to his bed.

Mentally crossing her fingers that he wouldn't puke all over her, Helga climbed onto her side of the bed. When he sat down next to her and put down the gun where he normally did, he didn't immediately climb onto her. He put his head in his hands and rubbed his forehead and face, apparently forgetting why he was in bed. Helga felt a little weak and dizzy, but other than that she really didn't feel very drunk at all. Don on the other hand had clearly had more than one too many. A moment later he laid his head down on his pillow and started to snore, without even touching Helga.

She was perfectly quiet and perfectly still for about thirty minutes, listening to his loud, even snores. He didn't move at all besides his snoring. He was completely passed out.

"...Don?" She whispered, to test him. Last week she had needed desperately to pee in the middle of the night, and had woken him up to escort her to do so. The last time she had whispered to him like this, he had woken up immediately. This time, there wasn't even a skip in his snoring. She tested him just one more time, "Don, can I please go pee?" Again, his only response was more snoring.

Now. It was now, or never.

She moved so painstakingly slowly that she was hardly moving at all, scooching herself over to the edge of the bed inch by inch, timing her movements with his massive snores to ensure that he would be less likely to feel or hear her movements. When she felt the edge, she inched her right leg over the edge until her foot touched the floor. The next leg joined it several minutes later, and after that she managed to slowly slide her torso over the side. She made a soft thump as she finally reached the floor, and stopped to listen if she had woken him up. To her relief, his snores resumed.

As slowly as ever, Helga began crawling alone the sides of the bed. It was extremely tempting to simply run out the door, but if he woke up he would assuredly follow after her when he noticed she was gone, and kill her. She had to make sure he wouldn't, couldn't, follow her.

One step at a time, she inched her way around the bed. When she turned the corner around to his side of the bed, she stopped and took a very slow, quiet breath, staring at his face in the darkness, which her eyes had long since become accustomed to. His eyes were closed, and his mouth wide open as he snored, still dead asleep. She was terrified that his eyes would suddenly pop open and he would kill her immediately. Her heart pounded and she felt inclined to make a lunge for it, but she knew she had to remain patient for just a few minutes longer.

She put one hand forward, and to her great shock, the wooden plank under her hand made a creak. It was almost inaudible, but it sounded impossibly loud to her, and she bit down on her lip to keep the gasp of shock from coming out. His snore skipped like a broken record, but then resumed. Her heart finally slowed after a few minutes of panicked palpitations, then she resumed, crawling around the noisy board.

The gun was just out of her reach at this point, as well as her salvation. She got from her knees to her feet, and slowly pushed herself up. One more step. She took it, and reached out her hand for the gun, blacker than anything else in the darkened room. Her hand shook, but she reached onwards.

Her fingers just barely touched the metal, wrapped them around the handle and fitted her index finger into the trigger. The cold of the gun was like the warmth of a hug, and the power it contained rushed over her. She had been so very careful until this point, but she was so close, so excited to have her freedom back, she forgot herself for a moment. She pulled the gun towards her, but she hadn't picked it up completely off the nightstand. The barrel dragged across the wooden stand, making a hard scratching noise, and his eyes immediately shot open.

She gasped out loud at the sight of his opened eyes. They both stared at each other intently for just a second or two, and then Helga pointed the gun at him.

Though he was still completely inebriated, his hand shot out, trying to take the gun back from her. His head swimming, he missed, and only managed to smack the top of Helga's hand, but it startled her so much she accidentally squeezed the trigger. After that everything happened so fast Helga could barely process it. There was a explosive bang, then massive pain in her right foot, and she stumbled back, tripping backwards over her feet and onto her behind.

He threw the blankets off of him and tried to follow after her, his head still reeling, he was too dizzy to get to his feet as quickly as he needed to. Helga knew she only had the next two seconds to do what she had to do or else she would surely be dead in three. She completely ignored the intense pain and blood spurting out from the hole in her foot and pointed the gun up at him again, and fired, again and again.

The first bullet was the lucky one, it went right through the middle of his face, turning his nose into a bloody blooming flower of ripped flesh and cartilage, all but assuring he'd be dead within minutes, tops. But she had been so panicked she just kept firing anyways. The second bullet went through his neck, and the next one right in the middle of his chest, splintering his spine and sternum into a thousand pieces, puncturing his lungs. He fell backwards from the force of the gunfire onto his bed, and after just a few seconds of spasms and futile gasps for breath, he stopped moving.

Helga was almost still for a moment but for the shaking, still pointing the gun where her assailant had once been, as if half expecting him to get back up and go after her again. He of course did not. When the adrenaline flow had finally slowed down, she in turn finally noticed that she'd shot her own foot. It of course hurt like hell, but somehow, it didn't hurt as badly as she thought it should, especially considering how bad it looked. It was covered in blood and there were chunks missing around the area where most of her little toes should have been. Suddenly the adrenaline kicked back in and she reached for the bed sheets, ripping off the parts that weren't totally covered in his blood yet. She took the shreds and began wrapping her foot with them, still keeping the gun right next to her just in case Don decided to become a zombie.

After wrapping the foot firmly with the scraps of cloth, Helga took a moment of silence to herself. She almost wanted to cry, but what good would it do her? Plus it was damn cold, and if she cried her tears would probably freeze her face off. Her next inclination was to go to sleep. She couldn't remember ever feeling so incredibly tired as she did then. Over the last three and a half weeks she had probably slept less than the standard 8-10 hours one was supposed to get in a single night. It was unbelieveably tempting to sleep now that the most urgent source of danger was finally eliminated, but she was afraid that if she fell asleep here and now, she might not ever wake up again. Her third inclination was to have another damn drink, and out of the three that one sounded the best just right then. So, she got unsteadily to her feet, leaning heavily on the uninjured one, and hopped over to the kitchen table, where the green bottle still stood. For a moment, she imagined she was looking into the green eyes of her beloved. Then she remembered how much pain she was in, and threw sentimentality over her shoulder as she unscrewed the top.

She didn't bother with a shot glass. She put the neck of the bottle to her lips, taking a long swig. She managed to get a few gulps down her throat before the burning bitterness overpowered her, causing her to cough and spit up some of the alcohol. She wiped the excess green liquid off her chin, wiping it on her pajama bottoms, the same pair she'd been wearing every day for the last three weeks. She was going to burn them when she got home. If she got home.

She took another, shorter swig from the bottle, trying not to dwell on the impossible odds against her - That even if she knew the way to get out of this forest and not get lost, could she manage to do so on her badly injured foot? She was once again wiping her mouth when something green came into the corner of her eyesight. She immediately pointed her gun at whatever it was, she almost fired, but then she froze.

"You can't be real..." She murmured, the gun in her hand shaking.

He wasn't, but he smiled at her just like he did back when he was real, and beckoned her with one finger, as if imploring her to follow him.

The part of Helga that wasn't a drunk, traumatized, severely sleep-deprived idiot knew that following the specter of her childhood boyfriend in the middle of the night in the woods with a seriously injured foot was about the dumbest idea she'd ever conceived of. He even looked just like he did the last time she'd seen him, which of course shouldn't have made any sense. he would be nearly three times as old by then. But that wasn't the part of her that was currently in charge of her body. She gasped, "A-Arnold?"

He didn't say anything, just continued to smile and beckon her to follow him. Not waiting any longer for her, he turned on his heel and began walking out the front door. In a panic, Helga called out to him, "Wait! Arnold, wait for me, I'm coming!" She hopped and dragged herself to the front door, half expecting him to have vanished when she got there, but he was waiting on the porch for her to catch up. She followed after him weakly, trying in vain to catch up with him. But every time she got almost close enough to reach out and grab him, he was suddenly out of her reach again. She completely lost track of time, and pretty much everything else, as she followed the boy through the woods.

She followed the greenish specter through the woods for hours, ignoring the cold, the pain, everything. At one point during the night she tripped, and she again remembered the pain - It was impossible to ignore. She was almost about to cry, she almost wanted to give up, but the little blond boy came back to her, and pointed to the ground to her nearby right. There was a long, sturdy stick there, a fallen branch that just happened to make the perfect walking cane. She sniffled away her tears and picked up the stick, using it to keep on walking through the night.

The light of the sun was just barely rising up over the horizon when the greenish angel began to fade. She almost started to panic, but as if feeling what she was feeling, he stopped, and for the first time that night, he spoke to her. "Don't worry. Just keep on going. Keep moving forwards. You're almost there." After that he disappeared.

Helga was just beginning to feel a little sober, and therefore a little stupid about having spent the last few hours chasing a ghost. She was just starting to think she'd never get out of the woods alive, that she'd wander them until she was dead, when suddenly she tripped over something. She fell onto her side, and was so upset by falling again that she almost wanted to just stay down, that is, until she realized what she had fallen on. Asphalt. A road.

New hope bubbled up inside of her. She eeny-meeny-miney-moe'd the decision on which side of the road to follow, and ended up going left. She limped down the road, the morning sun warming her cold, tired body, giving her energy when she had been almost sure she had none left. She kept walking even when she was sure she was about to drop, leaning on the stick. She walked for over an hour and then to her amazement, the trees to either side of her slowly became less plentiful, and in the distance a crop of buildings emerged. It was the pissant little country town from before. She was much happier to see it the second time around.

The first building she came to was a gas station. It was as good as anything else, so she entered it, marveling at how that normal little 'bing-bong' sound she'd heard and ignored a million times could be so refreshing to hear. At first the cashier didn't look up from the magazine she was reading, but Helga didn't have the time or patience to be ignored after what she'd been through.

"Ma'am, I need you to call me an ambulance. Please. Now." She said it rather calmly, but it was a strange request and it caused the cashier to look up to see what the fuss was about. When she saw the dirty, bloodied and bruised woman before her, her eyes went wide and she gasped with shock, and tripped over herself to get the phone. Helga leaned against the counter and waited for them to get there. The second the ambulance arrived and strapped her onto the gurney, she passed out into complete darkness.


	5. Reunited at Death's Door

Arnold had just started his day at the local Starbucks, and had ordered his usual plain black coffee with just a squirt of hazelnut flavor in it. He had just sat down and started to sip it, when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned his head and almost spat out his coffee. It was Lila Sawyer.

"Arnold? It is you!" She cried out, giving his head a big hug. "Oh Arnold, you just don't know how ever so glad I am to see you!"

"Lila!" He returned affectionately, putting down his cup before he spilled it and returning her hug. "How on Earth have you been? I heard you went and became a big ol' movie star and model in Hollywood!" He grinned at her.

"Oh how silly! I'm ever so sure I'm not a big ol' anything!" She was being modest of course. She had made millions off the movies she starred in, and millions more in Japan with a line of clothing called 'Lila-Lolita', frilly girly dresses with a 'country bumkin' theme. She sat across from him. "I mean, I suppose I got a -little- popular there for a while, but I haven't worked on any acting or modeling gigs lately."

"Oh really, why not?" Arnold asked, taking another sip of coffee. "I've watched every movie you played in, Rhonda and Helga too. You were all great!" Rhonda was still pretty great, but then again, her money had all but assured she'd never be anything but.

"Oh, thank you ever so much, Arnold." She blushed modestly. "But you see, Helga was the one who talked me into it to begin with. As you may know my father and I have struggled with financial problems for quite a while. I had very little hope of being able to afford to go to college, but then Helga suggested I go with her and Rhonda to Hollywood. At first I wasn't sure, but she talked me into it, and I'm just ever so glad now that she did!" She looked to be a little faraway for a moment. "I almost feel bad though. Helga put so much work into that movie, and people barely even know she's in it. I only got one of the lead parts because of my looks. Helga should have gotten it. But now I've been going to school to become a veternarian like I always wanted, my father has no more debt, and it's all thanks to Helga! Plus," She giggled mischievously, a spark of something Helga had obviously rubbed off on her, "We did have one hell of an adventure on the roadtrip to Hollywood!"

Arnold grinned for her. He was glad for her, but her story made him miss his old girlfriend all over again. He remembered the last he'd heard of Helga, when visiting his grandparents for the last time, Mai had been there visiting her father. She relayed to Arnold the part Helga had played in getting her reunited with her father years ago, and Arnold had marveled at how much goodness that angry heart of hers was always hiding. He suddenly wanted to see her again, more than anything, and he resolved to do so, somehow.

"It is oh so unfortunate about her divorce though..." She went on, hiding her secret slyness behind a pleasant tone. "Truthfully I never thought it would work out, but I didn't want to tell her that... But anyways Arnold, what have you been up to? You were gone so long we thought we might never see you again at all!" She declared.

Arnold smiled proudly, "Actually, I'm a cop. A detective. I work-" He was about to go into detail, but then his cell phone went off. "Actually, that IS work. Sorry Lila, I have to take this." She nodded understandingly and listened in hushed interest.

"Shortman, we just got a rape victim in at Santa Clarisa Hospital. She wandered in yesterday morning from that forest, you know, the one just beyond that little pissant country town that doesn't even have a hospital, what's it called, Pinecone? Anyways, they say she's been through some serious shit and she may or may not kick the bucket in the next few days. They need you to go down now and take her statements just in case."

"Got it." He answered, sighing. "I'm sorry Lila. I have to get going."

"I completely understand, Arnold. Here, just take my contact info." She smiled as pleasant as a peach, pretending she hadn't overheard the call, and handed him a card with her number and email on it. "You can also look me up on Facebook. Later, Arnold!" She waved to him and he returned it, walking out of the cafe.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Arnold walked into the pristine white hospital, up to the front desk where he discreetly inquired as to where the rape victim he was there to see was. The receptionist directed him to room 118. He almost chuckled at the irony.

He walked down the cold white halls, nodding to some of the nurses along the way. It was just another day. He'd visited men, women and children at their worst in this hospital several times since he'd made detective last year. It was nothing new to see people cry, to break down, or even be completely blank after an experience like this. He didn't know what to expect of the woman he was going to see, in fact he didn't expect much at all. It was just a normal day.

Then he reached the door, turned the knob, stepped inside, and suddenly, nothing was normal.

His eyes went wide and his jaw dropped, and he rushed over to the side of the bed, staring at the young woman there, who appeared to be sleeping. He wasn't sure he could believe his eyes. "Helga...?!" He breathed, reaching for her medical charts. Name: Helga G. Pataki. She looked terrible. She was pale from blood loss, bruised and cut all over, and both of her feet were tightly wrapped - One of which was soaking blood through the bandages. He stared intently on two bruises in particular, one that looked like a bite mark on her left shoulder and some light bruising around her neck. He still almost couldn't believe it, even when staring at her with his own two eyes. He had wanted so badly to see her again, but not like this.

Just as he was beginning to consider stepping down from the case, she cracked open a familiar blue eye, and whispered, "Arnold...?"

He immediately rushed to her side, clasped one of her hands in his. He couldn't bring himself to say anything yet. He knew the professional thing to do would be to immediately excuse himself from the case. You weren't supposed to get involved if you had a personal relationship with anyone. But Arnold wasn't about to budge an inch away from the woman before him, not now. Not unless she wanted him to, of course.

He didn't know what to expect from her when she realized it was him, but the last thing he expected her to do was start laughing. The nurse had informed Helga earlier that she was getting a morphine drip for her pain, and after the initial shock of seeing her long lost love, Helga had begun to laugh, assuming he was just another hallucination, albeit a much more realistic one. 'Damn, that morphine must be some good shit.' She thought.

Arnold didn't know what to do or say at first. He let her laugh for a minute, then nervously cleared his throat. "Um, Helga?"

Her laughing slowly subsided. "Yes, Arnold?" She answered back, as if there were nothing odd at all about the whole situation.

"Um," He stammered again, almost forgetting why he was there for a moment. "I'm here because - Because I'm a detective. I was called here because I was told there was an assault victim here and it's my job to get your story about what happened..." He swallowed against a quickly forming lump in his throat. "However, if you'd prefer, I can get a female detective for you to speak to instead..."

He moved as if he were about to leave to do just that, but Helga snatched his hand back to her, and whispered, "No. Don't leave me."

Arnold returned to her immediately. "I won't. I won't leave you, Helga. I'm here." He assured her.

She still wasn't sure it wasn't a hallucination, but it was a rather nice hallucination, and if it wasn't a hallucination, she knew there was no one else in the world she could trust with this right now, so Helga decided to just go with it. She told him the story. All the gory details. Every single last one. She kept her voice almost completely emotionless as she recalled it all, she even cracked a humorless joke here and there. He stayed silent throughout it all, listening intently to her brave story of survival with a straight face, except for his eyes, which were dry, but intense, staring at her as if she were the entire world.

"I wandered out in the woods all night until dawn. I eventually found the road and now I'm here." She finished, coughing a little after talking so much. The only thing she had left out was the part about following his absinthe and sleep deprivation-induced ghost, for obvious reasons. He reached for her cup of half melted ice chips and handed them to her. She gratefully sipped at it. He was going to try to say something by then, but she continued, "Tell me something, Arnold, since you apparently know all about this kind of stuff..." She inquired vaguely.

"What is it?" He asked, willing to do just about anything for her at that moment.

"Is it true..." She started, unsure. She paused for a moment, looking away from Arnold and up at the ceiling. "Is it true what they say, that people who have been raped before are at a higher risk of being raped again...?"

He stared at her in silence and dread for a moment, not sure how to answer her question. "There have been studies that suggest that." He finally answered. "Why do you ask, Helga?"

She swallowed at her dry throat, taking another slow sip of ice water. "I guess it kinda makes sense. It just, makes sense..."

"What does, Helga? What do you need to tell me?" He asked her more urgently, needing to know almost as much as she needed to tell.

There was a long pause, but then finally, Helga spoke. "...I was five or six." She began, and already Arnold's stomach was starting to turn. "My grandfather, Bob's dad, he raped me, several times, when he was babysitting me. He molested me a few times when I was even younger than that..." She expected he knew the difference if he was supposedly a detective in this weird morphine dream of hers. "He told me no one would believe me, that no one would care. He told me I'd actually be the one to get in trouble if I told anyone. You're the first person I've ever told." She marveled at that for a moment. "I once thought about telling Olga, and Dr. Bliss, but I didn't..."

He squeezed her hand assuredly, trying hard to keep his face from betraying the extreme sadness and anger he felt.

"He told me..." She went on, her voice cracking with emotion. "He told me if I told anyone, they'd think I was dirty. Impure. He said no boy would ever want to marry me if they knew... You know what?" She pulled his hand in close and softly kissed his fingers, causing him to blush, surprised by her tenderness. "I think... I think that's why..." She almost trailed off.

"Why what?" He urged her on, needing to know.

"...You were the first person who was ever nice to me. I think..." She went on again, slowly, considering her words. "All that hate I had for him, I think I tried to turn it into love for you instead. I tried so hard to escape my feelings, to deny what happened. But there was so much hate, too much, I couldn't get rid of it all... I'm sorry I took it out on you." For the first time throughout the entire story, Helga's voice cracked and her eyes began to well up with tears, but she still didn't cry. "Isn't it hilarious, how the statute of limitations is five years, but I didn't even remember I was raped for well over ten years later?" She laughed a bitter laugh, then sighed. "I guess it doesn't matter. He's been dead and buried since I was seven."

"It does matter." Arnold finally interrupted, seeing the woman before him in a light he had never even considered, more vulnerable and more powerful than he had ever seen her before, and she needed to know it. "It wasn't your fault. You were just a little girl. You're not impure. You're amazing. You did everything right. You survived, and I'm really damn glad you did."

She sighed softly. That football headed angel always said just what she needed to hear. Even if he probably was just a hallucination. The morphine made everything seem surreal and dreamlike, and she half believed she had died and this was her heaven. "Thanks Arnold." Her eyes began to flutter, she was so tired after having her say that she could barely fight the sleep back any more.

Arnold noticed and lightly patted her hand. "You need to rest now... Is there anything else I can do for you, Helga?"

"No..." She murmured, almost about to slip off into unconsciousness, until she suddenly remembered something she'd overheard a couple of the nurses in her room talking about. She was far too tired to care about it enough to fret about it then, but it suddenly seemed important. "No, wait, there is," She amended quickly, fighting off the dark edges around her vision and focusing on Arnold. "My family... Don't tell them yet. I know I'll have to tell them later, but could you please make sure the first person to see me, is Phoebe?"

He nodded solemnly. "I will, Helga. You can count on me."

She smiled tiredly at him, two tears spilling from the corners of her eyes. "...I know I can, Arnold. You don't know it, but... Even if I die tonight... You... Saved my life..." After that, she drifted off once again into tranquil darkness.

Arnold felt peculiar. He felt as if his heart had been stabbed, but it was a dull kind of pain. Was that even possible, a dull stab? He stared at her for a while, not wanting to leave her. It just wasn't fair. Nobody deserved this, but Helga was a good person, hell, a great person. She deserved to be loved, cared for, wanted, and nobody ever had. She had been ignored, beaten, raped, and she had endured it all and still managed to be a more than decent human being. She actually tried and almost succeeded to turn the most damning kind of hate into the purest kind of love. She was so damn strong... Too strong not to survive this, surely? Arnold knew he couldn't logically feel responsible for what had happened to her, but he did anyways, he felt like there had to have been -something- he could have done to have spared her this, even if he couldn't think of it. He couldn't bear the thought of her dying, so he didn't think about it at all. He resolved to focus on doing right by this woman who had been so wronged.

After a few moments, he finally got up and headed out. There was no more he could do for her here. He had to work on getting together a search party to scour the forest and find the body of the sorry SOB who messed with Helga G. Pataki.


	6. Dumb Luck

Arnold and most of the detectives from his office headed down to Pinecone that day to commence the search, as well as some local volunteers, one of which was the father of a nineteen year old girl who'd gone missing years ago. Their K-9 units followed the trail of blood down the highway to the part of the forest Helga had emerged from. A few of the search party took cars from there, while some of the others stuck with the dogs. A little over an hour into the search Arnold got a call from his chief that she'd found the scene of the crime. He followed her coordinates and soon found the place himself. He walked into the front door of the cabin, and immediately whistled.

"God damn..." He had already been incredibly impressed with Helga, but actually seeing her handiwork added a whole new level to it. The blood and bullet patterns on the floor and walls fitted her story perfectly, not that he ever doubted it wouldn't. Plus she was a pretty damn good shot, especially considering the circumstances. Arnold and his chief, a woman by the name of Antoinette Clemens, set to work taking pictures of every aspect of the crime scene. Arnold winced as they came across a couple of deadened toes, looked like they were the ones between the big toe and the last two pinky toes, and the nails, after the blood had been cleaned off them, were painted pink. Not hard to guess whose those were. There was also a cell phone, but it had gone dead. They bagged it for later.

Arnold had a partner, but she was on vacation this week, and personally he was rather glad for it. His partner was none other than Patricia "Big Patty" Smith (the office chuckleheads thought the shorter male and gigantic female pair would make a hilarious sitcom, "Shortman and Smith" they called it), and he had a feeling if she knew who the victim was, she might have done what he should have done for him and excused them from the case. But Arnold had to see this through, he had to do something to help Helga in her most desperate hour of need, he couldn't sit back and do nothing.

"Shortman," He heard his sargeant, a man in his forties named Pete Layman, call to him from the west side of the cabin. "Come take a look at this!"

Arnold was sure he didn't want to, but he did as he was bid. When he got there he could see the cadaver dogs were going nuts digging into some soft earth. A few feet away from them a somewhat deep hole, probably at least the standard 5-6 feet, had been dug, and next to the hole was a body wrapped in some kind of black plastic, which was partially opened at the head. The volunteer who'd lost his daughter was bent over her, clutching a rosary in both hands, praying and crying at the same time.

"It's her?" He asked Layman as he came near him, glancing over at the father again.

"He says he's sure it is. Dental records will confirm it."

"How many more do you think we've got?"

"Hard to tell," Layman nudged the dog aside and started digging with his shovel. The dog sniffed around for a while then started digging somewhere else nearby. "Apparently it's at least three."

Arnold took up a shovel and started helping him dig. They probably weren't going to get the job done in a day, but they still had a few hours of sun left. Together they managed to dig up the first hole, inside of which was another young woman wrapped tightly in black plastic. The deep burial and tight wrapping had kept insects out, leaving the bodies to decompose slowly. Besides the gray skin, the rigor mortis and the grave wax, they were almost distinguishable as their old selves.

"Both these victims so far have been blonde." Layman remarked. "The victim at the hospital is blond too, isn't she? Might be his signature."

"Maybe." Arnold shrugged, simply starting to dig at the next hole while the dog moved to another spot. He and Layman did just as before, digging until they found the outline of the body and pulled the black plastic from the earth. Arnold pushed while Layman pulled, and once they had gotten the body out, Layman gave Arnold a hand to get him out of the grave.

Arnold felt the bag until he found the head, then cut the plastic away from her. The first thing he noticed was that she was indeed another blonde. Her hair was braided, though it was messy and close to being undone. He ripped more of the plastic away from her until her entire head and some of her torso was exposed, and then he stopped, and stared. He had seen this face before. He couldn't immediately place where, but he knew he had. He continued to stare, he couldn't look away, that face was just so familiar.

Layman eventually took notice. "Is she someone you knew, Shortman?"

Arnold didn't answer at first, he continued to stare, trying to find the memory where this woman's image fit. It was hard to place with the expression of death masking her features. The deep, dark strangulation marks around her neck were also especially distracting. But for some reason he kept associating her face next to Helga's, and then suddenly, it hit him. "Oh my god, it IS her..."

"Who?" Layman insisted to know.

"I... I don't know." Arnold admitted, "That is, I don't remember her name, but I could swear I've seen this woman before. I think she once babysat a friend of mine years ago..."

"Well, we'll find out soon enough. Load her into the truck and lets go, we'll have to finish cleaning up this mess tomorrow." Layman replied, hauling up the second victim himself. The father had already taken his daughter's body away himself. Arnold hefted up the woman's corpse, bride style, muttered his apologies to her, and carried her to the truck.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

When Arnold finally got home that night it was close to midnight, but Kelly was still awake. She was watching a movie with her favorite pets, a scarlet macaw named Scarlet and a blue macaw named Shaula, one on each shoulder, while their dad slept on the couch with a Capuchin monkey named Cappuccino sleeping on his chest. There were also a few flying squirrels and fruit bats flapping around too, an iguana, a capybara and at least four or five cats. He brought in his trusted K9 Ginger, a female German Shepherd with one pointed ear and one floppy one, who proceeded to go right to his sister and lick her face, disturbing the macaws and causing them to squawk. Arnold usually shared her enthusiasm, but he was too tired tonight.

"Kelly, it's a school night and it's really late, you shouldn't still be up..." He scolded her lightly. He had mother-hen'd her ever since their actual mother had passed away, and tonight was no exception.

"Nice to see you too, Arnold." She replied sarcastically, pushing Ginger aside before she covered her in slobber. "I'm almost fifteen, I'm too old for bedtimes!"

"You're never too old for bedtimes, Kelly." He smiled, gesturing to Miles and Cappuccino, both of whom was snoring. "See? Someday you'll be excited to get to go to bed..." From the tone of his voice, that's clearly what Arnold wanted to do right away, but he also clearly needed to take a shower first, covered in grave dirt as he was.

"I'm sorry Arnold. One of those days?" She could be awfully perceptive at times, and empathetic too, just like her brother. Then again, you didn't need to be super perceptive or empathetic to know that someone who smells like death just had a bad day.

"You don't even know, sis..." He replied, sounding more tired than he had in a long, long time.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, clearly concerned. Ginger shared her expression, trusty gal that she was, tilting her head to the side of the floppy ear.

He took a deep breath. He was sorely tempted to take her up on that offer and tell her everything. He could feel deep down he had a really good cry coming, but not tonight, probably not even for a few days. He had too much work to do. "...Nah, not tonight, baby sis. I'm just gonna take a shower and go to bed. Maybe later."

"Okay, Arnold." She nodded in understanding. "I'll just finish my movie..."

"Go to bed!" He told her sternly, but ruffled her hair affectionately afterwards before heading to the shower.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Almost a week had passed since Helga had last spoken to Arnold. She'd been in and out of surgery on her foot (the two toes next to the big toe had been blown completely off. The toe directly next to the pinky toe had been hanging on by a thread and was pretty singed anyways, so it had to be amputated. Her big toe and final pinky toe would apparently stick around.) or otherwise mostly unconscious. The few times she had woken up she had done so with a voracious appetite, and had none too patiently 'requested' the nurses to get her food - Anything but fish. Most of her sleep had been dreamless, but she'd had a really weird dream or two about fish jumping right into her mouth and forcing themselves down her throat, where they would flop around in her belly, and those weird singing fish that old people like to hang up in their houses that sing 'Don't worry, be happy'. She didn't quite feel like being happy right now, so it was pretty annoying, not to mention disturbing. After scarfing everything on the tray she was brought down, she would promptly pass out again.

Arnold, on the other hand, had been overloaded with work. He had tried visiting Helga a few more times, but she was unconscious every time he'd visited so far. So he set to focusing on his work for the time being. Once they had retrieved the fourth and final body from the crime scene, they then set to work identifying them. Arnold's suspicions about the third victim were confirmed when her tests came back - She was identified as the Swiss immigrant Inge Freya Ingold, the woman who had once babysat for Helga G. Pataki. The tests also revealed when exactly she had died. It had been barely a month after she had stopped working for the Pataki's. She initially had planned to go back to Switzerland after the end of her employment, but she wouldn't have been working as a maid in the first place if she had the money to go back. The poor woman had probably been looking for more work and had the misfortune of being approached by Donald John Smucker, aka Don. Apparently she'd put up one hell of a fight though. Every single one of her nails had dried bits of Donald's blood underneath them. No one would ever know it, but Inge had been the one to give him the scary scar he'd had on his face, back when he had a face.

Arnold had told the hospital to give him a call when her condition changed, and finally they informed him that she seemed to have passed the worst of it, and was concious more often than before. Arnold made a day to come back to the hospital, bringing with him the case folder containing all the pictures and information about Donald's crimes he'd collected so far.

When he got to room 118, he knocked first before entering, suddenly rather self-conscious about his manners. He heard a voice clear her throat, and then quietly bid him to come in.

When he opened the door, to his extreme relief he found Helga was already looking much better than the last he'd seen of her. Her feet had been re-wrapped in clean bandages, her skin was mostly back to her normal healthy color, and most of the lesser bruises had faded. She was currently sitting up with a lunch tray in front of her, the blankets were thrown off of her for now, exposing her legs from beneath the hospital gown. She had been sipping from a miniature carton of milk when he stepped in, and the second her eyes caught sight of him, she choked on the milk she was drinking and spat half of it out, coughing and wheezing for a minute.

"A-Arnold?!" She gawked, the milk dripping down her chin for a few seconds before she could remember how to do pretty much anything again.

"Um," Arnold blinked, helplessly confused. "Hi again Helga?"

That seemed to break the spell she was under. She hurriedly wiped her mouth with the napkin provided, blushing with embarrassment, and pushed the tray away. It occured to her that she hadn't shaved the entire week she'd been there and had gotten quite 'prickly', not to mention the undesireable-looking cuts on her legs from shaving with plain soap in a cold river every day for a month, so she quickly pulled the sheets back over her.

Arnold of course noticed her behavior. She was considerably more stressed out than the last time he'd seen her, which was odd, typically victims were most stressed out right after their assault. But apparently that wasn't what was stressing her out now. He tried to act cool though, hoping she would settle down if he remained calm. "How have you been feeling? You look a lot better." He remarked, trying to give her an assuring smile.

Helga just stared at him. Really stared.

"...Helga?" Arnold asked again, wondering if perhaps she hadn't heard him somehow.

"Are you real," She finally deadpanned, rubbing her eyes and forehead. "Are you seriously really real?"

Now it was Arnold's turn to stare at her in confusion. At first he wasn't sure how to answer, so eventually he simply answered truthfully, "Y-Yes..."

"You're really here? You really a detective?" Her memory finally kicked and surprised her with that crazy 'dream' she'd had about him last week. "You - Were you really here, last week?"

"Yes..." He answered, beginning to feel a little awkward. "About that-"

"I lied."

Arnold stopped immediately, staring at her in intense silence. "...You what?"

"The part about my grandfather." She quickly amended. "The stuff that happened before last week, that really happened, but I made the other part up. I was completely out of it, I didn't know what I was saying, I made it up."

Arnold stared at her a little longer, whilst she averted her eyes. He knew better, of course, but he couldn't just outright call her out on her double-lie. She was in an extremely delicate position right now and he had to respect that, but at the same time, he couldn't stand to see her withdraw from him again.

"...Helga," He finally decided, "I haven't been entirely honest with you either, and I'm really sorry about that. I need to come clean now." She looked appropriately confused. "The truth is, I really shouldn't even be here. My code of ethics as well as law dictates that I am supposed to immediately excuse myself from a case if I have a personal relationship with anyone involved. I ignored that because when you spoke to me last week, I got the impression that you were putting a lot of trust in me, probably more than you've ever put in anyone before... And, well, I really didn't want to lose that trust. I really wanted you to want me to help you, because I want to help you." He put his hand on top of one of her hands, squeezing gently.

She stared up into his eyes, for a rather long time. There seemed to be a battle going on behind those eyes. At first she almost looked like she was resolved to stick to her story, but then suddenly something inside cracked. She wrenched her hand away from Arnold's loose grip, and along with the other hand, she buried her face into them, weeping harshly at first, then almost howling with pain.

Arnold was technically supposed to ask permission every time before offering to hug a victim, but he again threw protocol to the wind and gathered the hurting, healing woman against his chest in a secure embrace, letting her bury her face into and clutch at his shirt. She cried for quite a while. Helga had dammed up this pain for a long time, too long, and now the dam had finally broken.

"It's so fucking disgusting!" She cried out once she'd found her voice again, "I feel... I feel so..."

Arnold rubbed her back, "I know. It's natural to feel like this after what you've been through. But you have to remember, Helga - It doesn't make you disgusting just because a disgusting person forced themselves on you. You're still just as beautiful as you were before."

"I don't feel beautiful..." She admitted pitifully.

"It's a feeling, not a fact." He insisted, finally pulling her back to look her in the eyes. "You listen to me Helga G. Pataki - You are without a doubt one of the most beautiful, most inspiring people I've ever known in my entire life. Don't let them make you think anything different, no matter what they told you. Listen to ME," He reached down and delicately cupped the side of her face with his hand. "You are beautiful, you are amazing, smart, funny, and you're going to move past this and have a wonderful life."

She stared up into his eyes silently after his speech for a few minutes. Then she lightly sighed, "...Have you had a wonderful life, Arnold?"

He smiled at her. He also didn't normally discuss his personal life with the victims, but since this victim was part of his personal life herself, and since he figured it might help take her mind off things to listen to him for a while, and of course since he did still owe her an explanation for his sudden disappearance years ago, he began, "Well, you know, we all take the good with the bad, but yeah..."

He talked for a good hour and a half, telling her all about his mother and father, his adventures and accomplishments in San Lorenzo. He told her about hiding out in the jungle for years from the cartels, about the close calls from gangsters and jungle animals alike. Then, with considerably less enthusiasm, he told her about Stella's final journey, and the reason why he and the remaining members of his family had come back. He told her funny stories about Kelly getting used to city life, having been raised most of her childhood in the jungle, just like Arnold had gotten used to the jungle after spending most of his childhood in the city. He told her about losing his grandparents, about going to school, meeting Patty there, and being inspired by her to join the police force.

Her tears had dried while she listened to his story, and now she was even laughing. "You and Patty, working together as partners? Oh man, that sounds like a sitcom! Let me guess, you're the 'good cop' and she's the 'bad cop', right?"

Arnold blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, most of the time." He admitted. "But actually... There's a few more questions about the case that I'm afraid I have to ask you. Do you think you're up to it? I waited to call anyone until you showed signs of improvement, but I can arrange for Phoebe to meet you tomorrow."

"Yes." She agreed immediately, "I need to see Phoebe right away. And also, yes, I can answer your questions..." She didn't sound as enthusiastic about that part though.

"Okay... Well, the most urgent thing on my mind, and everyone else on the case, is... You said you just wandered through the night until you found the road. We all believe your story, but, we're all really, really confused about that part... You couldn't have gotten there if you just walked out of the cabin and kept going straight, if you had you would have eventually fallen off a fifteen foot rock slope. You had to have gone around a few other obstacles besides that. The terrain was pretty rough on foot even for us, let alone you who was almost barefoot, bleeding and limping. Plus there were even a few bears out there you somehow managed to not run into. Basically, what I'm trying to ask you Helga, is how the hell did you do it?"

She stared at him blankly for a few seconds. She opened her mouth to say something, but then decided against it and closed it. Finally after a few minutes she simply shook her head. "You wouldn't believe me. It's sounds too crazy."

"It's okay, Helga." He tried to assure her. "Just tell me. It already sounds crazy enough. Frankly I'd probably still believe you even if you told me little green aliens led you through the forest."

She snorted a laugh, and shook her head. "No, it was you. You led me through the forest."

He admittedly paused at that. "...What?"

"A green ghostly little boy version of you. After I shot Don I hallucinated that you were there, and you told me to follow you, and I know it was a really, really dumb idea, or apparently a really, really smart idea, but I did. He disappeared just about before I found the road."

He paused a little longer. "...Well, you're right, that is pretty crazy. But I believe you." He added quickly when he noticed a sour look starting to form on her face.

"I was really drunk." She added, trying to explain the craziness. "Don made me drink a bunch of nasty green booze that night. I think it was absinthe."

"It was..." As he said this he became very somber, noticeably so. Helga had been about to ask him what was wrong, but then he went on, "You're really, seriously lucky you managed to get out of there when you did, Helga... We've been searching the cabin and the adjacent area all week... We found bodies."

Her eyes went wide, and her breath caught in her throat. She didn't say anything right away, so Arnold went on, "What's more, the autopsies of the bodies revealed they also had excessive amounts of absinthe in their stomachs... We believe if you hadn't made a break for it when you did, he would have killed you by now."

She was utterly silent. It didn't shock her that he would have killed her, but how close she'd come to it. She stared at his case folder, which he had made a few notes in time to time as she answered his questions. Finally she spoke up again, "How many."

He knew what she meant. "Four. Some a little younger than you, some a little older-" He stopped abruptly, and blinked. Helga, even in her weakened state, had snatched the folder right out of his hands in the blink of an eye, before he could tell her it was totally against the rules for her to be viewing the material in that folder, she had opened it in the middle to a random page.

Right, random. It could have been any of the multiple dozens of pages in the folder, but she managed to land perfectly right on the page he had most hoped she wouldn't, almost as if she was fated to see it. She stopped and stared, for a long damn time. She wanted to say something, but her voice had caught in her throat. She coughed harshly to clear it, and managed to inquire, "Is that...?" She didn't wait for him to answer, she flipped the page and got everything else she needed. "...Wow," She finally breathed. "Maybe I should have died. I deserve to."

"It wasn't your fault." Arnold immediately rushed to defend her, but Helga would have none of it.

"Are you kidding me?" She snapped, angry tears forming quick and thick. "She could have been warm and safe at my house making dumplings and dusting trophies if I hadn't gotten her kicked out! Instead..." She tapered off, looking back down at the folder.

He snatched the folder back out of her lap and tucked it back under his arm, "Helga, I know it was your fault that she got kicked out, and I know you already felt bad about that before you realized this happened, but you had nothing to do with her death. Donald Smucker killed her, not you. It won't do her or you or anyone else any good to place the blame on yourself."

She logically knew he was right, but it didn't feel that way in her heart, and it was pretty clear by the look on her face that she was still full of guilt. Arnold spoke up, trying to distract her from it. "I heard you have a daughter." He apparetly had said the right thing, as she looked up from her lap and back to him. "I was going to get a hold of Phoebe later today, and I'm pretty sure I can arrange for Phoebe to bring her with. Do you want me to?"

Helga slowly shook her head. "I do want to see my baby girl, desperately... But I don't want her to see me like this. I don't want to scare her..." Not that it could really be avoided. How was she going to explain to her baby why she didn't have half her toes anymore?

Arnold nodded, "I understand how you feel about it, but she's probably pretty worried and-"

"I know she must be worried, Arnold, I just-I just really need to see Phoebe first. It's important." She stressed. "I'll at least call her and Olga and everybody else afterwards, but I really want Phoebe right now, I told her I was going to call her back right before I was kidnapped, I know she must have been worried..."

Arnold nodded again. "Okay, Helga. I understand. I'll call her tonight and you'll see her first thing tomorrow morning, okay?"

She nodded back to him, "Thank you, Arnold..." It was so odd speaking his name again, but the word still tasted just as sweet on her tongue.

He gave her a big smile, "No problem, Helga. I'll let you finish your lunch now, okay?"

"Oh. Yeah." She glanced back at her half eaten sandwich, milk, cranberry juice and apple with disinterest. Then her stomach growled and she reached for the sandwich anyways. "Will I see you again sometime?" She asked before taking a bite.

"Definitely." He answered surely, waving over his shoulder as he headed out.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

That night Helga had another disturbing dream. She was her nine year old self again, sitting at the dinner table. The table looked just as normal as it ever did, same pattern on the tablecloth, same fake flowers in a vase in the middle of it. But everything around her and the table was pitch blackness. Suddenly, Inge stepped up to the table from the darkness, and put a plate down in front of Helga. The plate had a fish head on it. The eyes were blinking at her and the mouth was gaping.

"Ew..." She scrunched up her nose in distaste.

Inge gave her a stern look, and it made Helga feel guilty. "Eat it, Helga. Eat it and grow. A life for a life."

Helga sighed and picked up her fork, stabbing the fish right in the eye and shoved the whole thing in her mouth. It tasted like ice cream.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO


	7. Life for a Life

Arnold didn't actually know Phoebe's number, and he'd forgotten to ask Helga for it, but he did have Gerald's number, and he knew the two were married (right out of high school, so unfortunately Arnold had missed it, as he had returned almost a year after.) so he called up his old friend.

The phone rang a few times before someone answered, and it was Gerald, but he was panting, as if he was almost out of breath, "Yeah?"

"Hey Gerald, it's Arnold." He greeted, though he knew his friend knew his voice well enough to guess it was him. "Sounds like you're at practice." Gerald was a smart kid and had went to college, but he had found his true calling in professional basketball. He'd hit the big time too - He'd been signed on to play for the Washington Wizards, and less than a year later, kids everywhere were wearing jerseys with '33' written on them, eating cereal with Gerald's face on the box, and cheering his name louder than anybody's if they were lucky enough to snag one of his constantly sold out game tickets. Phoebe could have been a happy housewife on his salary if she wanted to, but she continued to work towards her dream of being a pediatrician, and had graduated just last year.

"Hey, my man!" Gerald grinned, motioning to the coach to give him ten. "Yeah man, we're just throwing the ball around. What's up? It's been a while since I heard from you."

"Yeah, sorry man, I've just been really busy. I'm totally coming to your game next month, though. But, I actually got something else to talk to you about. Actually, I need to talk to Phoebe."

"Phoebe?" Gerald repeated, confused. "Why you need to talk to her?"

Arnold sighed lightly. "I can't really give you all the details, but it involves Helga. She's in the hospital and-"

Gerald abruptly interrupted him. "Wait, you found Helga?"

Arnold paused for a few lengthy seconds. "...You knew she was missing?" He asked, sounding just a little more than peeved. "And you didn't tell me?"

It was Gerald's turn to pause. He hadn't known if Arnold was still hung up on Helga, but it sounded like he still was. "...I'm sorry, man." He finally blurted out, "I thought about telling you, but I didn't want make you worry about something you couldn't do anything about. Plus, Phoebe's been so torn up herself, I've kinda been spending most of my time trying to keep her from falling apart. She was one of the last people to hear from Helga before she disappeared. She didn't go to work for a whole week after she went missing, she was crying all day and night. Of course we hoped she was okay, but to be honest, after a while we really started to think... Well, that we might not see her again." Gerald had never been especially close to Helga, but he did sound appropriately guilty. "But you're saying she's alive?"

Arnold was still pretty annoyed, but he decided it wouldn't do any good to get angry at his old friend. He was right, too, there was nothing he could have done for Helga then besides worry about her. He'd had other victims who needed his help, and Gerald had his own concerns too. "Alright man, bygones... And yeah, she's alive..." He didn't give him any details yet about what that meant though. "Do you know when Phoebe gets off work?"

"Yeah, she should already be home, actually. Do you need her number? It's..."

Arnold wrote the number down. "Okay, thanks Gerald. See ya at the game."

He hung up and dialed the number Gerald had provided him, and waited, though he didn't have to wait that long, Phoebe picked up her phone much quicker. "Yes, hello?" She answered, her mousy voice quieter than usual.

"Hey Phoebe, it's Arnold Shortman." He told her, then waited for her to respond, to see if she remembered him. Apparently she did because it sounded like she dropped the phone in surprise, then fumbled to pick it up again.

"Arnold?!" She repeated in shock.

"Listen Phoebe," He went on, wanting to rip the bandaid off quickly so to speak, and get the worst of it over with. "Helga is alive. They found her in Pinecone and now she's at the Santa Clarisa hospital."

There was a long pause, then a choked cry, "Sh-She's alive?" Phoebe repeated. She was suddenly so worried about this being another dream that she reached down and pinched herself. "Ow!" She said aloud, confusing Arnold, before she quickly followed up with, "The hospital - Is she okay?"

Arnold took a long, slow breath. "Um... I think she's going to BE okay..." He answered vaguely.

"Oh my god..." Phoebe moaned, not wanting to think about what he meant by that, but already her brain was overwhelmed with the possibilities. She was at once overjoyed to know that Helga was still alive, but also greatly pained to imagine what she must have gone though to have been gone so long.

"She wants to see you." Arnold told her quickly before she started to get too overwhelmed by the sadness. "She specifically asked to see you before anyone else. Do you think you can make it down to Santa Clarisa tomorrow?"

"Of course!" She blurted out, "I can go now if-"

"No," He interrupted, "That is really sweet Phoebe, but she's been through a lot..." He heard her make an indistinct, sad little noise in the back of her throat. "And it's already kinda late, so she's probably sleeping. I'm positive she'll still be there to see you tomorrow, though."

Phoebe nodded, even though he couldn't see it. "Okay. I will. Thank you, Arnold. Really... Thank you."

"No problem, Phoebe. I'll see you around, yeah?"

"Of course, Arnold." She responded, hanging up soon after.

That night, when Gerald got home from basketball practice, he found Phoebe crying again like she had almost every night for weeks. However, this time they also were tears of joy as well as tears of pain.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Phoebe had barely slept a wink through the whole night. At first she was too busy crying on Gerald's shoulder, then she lied in bed for hours worrying about what Helga must have gone through, and when she finally had gotten to sleep, she was woken up barely an hour later by a nightmare. By then it was less than an hour before she'd set her alarm clock to go off, so she didn't bother trying to get back to sleep. She took a shower, got dressed, and headed out to Santa Clarisa.

Phoebe was normally the exact opposite of the stereotypical Asian driver. She always drove at exactly the speed limit, signaled faithfully and was polite to the other drivers on the road. But that morning, she got her first speeding ticket, cut off about a dozen people, and even honked at an old lady in a clunker who was blocking a lane before she completed the one hour trip to Santa Clarisa, and when she first got there, Helga wasn't even awake yet. The nurse let Phoebe wait in Helga's room until she woke.

At first Phoebe could barely believe her eyes. She had seen Helga pretty banged up before, but this was clearly something else. Both of her feet were tightly wrapped in bandages, and one of them seemed misshapen. She had half-healed scrapes and bruises all over her body. But besides all that, besides all the damage that could be been by the eye, Phoebe knew the worst of it was the damage that couldn't be seen. She waited patiently by Helga until the blonde woman began to stir and slowly opened her eyes. Then she glanced over at Phoebe, and silently smiled in relief.

"Oh, Helga!" The shorter girl exclaimed, wanting to leap into her friend's arms, but not sure if that would hurt her in the state she was in. However, Helga held out her arms herself in invitation, and Phoebe gladly took it, burying her face against Helga's bosom. "I thought I might never see you again! I'm so glad..." She pulled away, but held onto Helga's hands. "I'm so..." She tried again, but couldn't manage, she was too overwhelmed.

"I'm glad to see you too, Pheebs." Helga finished for her, squeezing her friend's hands lightly. "Sorry I didn't call..."

Phoebe laughed, but there was no humor in it. "You know you don't have to apologize for that. Oh Helga, what happened?" She really didn't want to know to be honest, but she knew she had to bear witness to Helga's pain to lessen it.

"...Some maniac came into my house and kidnapped me." She laughed mirthlessly herself, remembering her words that might. "Boy I've never been more glad to be wrong. I wasn't murdered, just, pretty much everything else..."

"Helga..." Phoebe moaned against her collar, hands lightly gripping her shoulders. "I'm so sorry, but, I'm so glad you're alive, and, I know your sister really needs to know you are too. Arnold told me you wanted to see me first, and I know I'm your best friend, but your sister has been just devastated, she's been just barely holding on to take care of Alice."

Helga was suddenly filled with guilt, but also gratitude for her sister. She was so damn glad Olga had taken Alice that night, right when she did, and she knew she couldn't hide this from her, she just couldn't tell her yet, not until she knew what exactly she was going to tell her when she did. "I know Phoebe, but there IS a reason..."

Phoebe suddenly became silent, a thought whispering in her mind. She pulled away and looked down at her friend inquisitively.

Helga averted her eyes. "When I got to the hospital, I had a yeast infection... I was worried I'd gotten some kind of disease. I'm still worried about that. I won't know for sure if I'm totally clean for a few months. But it was just a yeast infection. I slept most of the day when I got to the hospital, but I woke up in the middle of the night, and I heard two nurses talking... And, goddamn it Phoebe, I swear to god it never just rains on me, it always pours..."

Phoebe paled and her mouth fell open in shock, "H-Helga, are you-?" She began, thinking she knew what her friend was trying to say. She was almost right.

"Twins, Phoebe. Fucking TWINS." She groaned, burying her face in her hands. "I don't just get raped and impregnated, no, I've always got to get the double whammy!"

"I-I can't believe it..." Phoebe answered truthfully, because she really couldn't. And she couldn't bring herself to say anymore, because her heart ached for what Helga had been through and what she now had to overcome, and she didn't want to let Helga know how she truly felt - It was too selfish of her.

Thankfully Helga went on for the both of them. "Phoebe, I asked to see you first because I need to know something... Part of me doesn't want this, of course, part of me wants to end it now... But then, another part of me... Well, I just can't help but be amazed. I really should have died. I survived, but it makes no sense how. I can't help but think... They survived with me. I can't help but think, after all the lives he took away, I can't take away one myself, let alone two, even though I do have every right to. But," She placed a hand over her navel. "I could never be any kind of mother to them. Never. If I were to bring them into the world, I'd need to know they had a good home to go to, and I don't know anyone in the world who I could trust with something like this... Except you." She looked up, straight into her friend's eyes. "It's not fair that someone like you who dedicated her life to taking care of kids can't have her own, it's a joke. So, Phoebe, I need to know... If they turn out to be healthy, and I..." She swallowed against a lump that was starting to form in her throat. "Would you take them, if I...?"

Phoebe felt rather like she'd been turned to stone, she could hardly move even to breathe. Her mouth gaped like a fish for a few seconds before she finally found the words. "Helga... I've never in my life been offered something so generous. I can't begin to know what to say. It's just," She adjusted her glasses and nervously looked aside, "I won't lie, I couldn't want what you're offering to me more, but, I don't want you rushing into a choice like this on my behalf alone. Helga, are you really, totally sure? Could you look at these children after they're born and not regret them, knowing what their father did to you?"

"Their 'sperm donor' did that to me. Gerald would be their father." Helga answered, half-rationally and half-desperately. "Like I said Phoebe, I could never be a mother to these children. But if you're willing to do it for me... Maybe I could be like an auntie." She shrugged, "I'm pretty sure they won't look like me, he was black and I'm white, they'll most likely look like him. They'll probably never even know I'm their biological mother... You could just tell them you adopted them, and it'd still be the truth..." At least, that's what Helga wanted to believe. She really wanted to convince herself that it was Phoebe's children inside of her, and not her own, not his. Deep down she knew better of course, her old schoolmate Nadine was proof positive she was wrong, deep down she wasn't totally sure yet that she wouldn't regret bringing them into the world, because she already did. But she also, deep down, just knew it wasn't right to end their lives just because she didn't want them, if someone else she knew she could trust did want them. And if she wanted them, they were hers, and if not... Well, Helga didn't want to end a life, but if she had to, she would.

Phoebe sat down in the nearby chair reserved for guests. She suddenly felt like she needed to sit.

Helga understood. It was a lot to ask anyone, even your best friend, but she didn't know who else in the world to ask. "I'm sure even if you wanted this, you gotta ask Gerald if he's okay with it too, but-"

Phoebe cut her off there, "If Gerald has a problem with it he can find another wife. I'll do it." She said quickly, giving Helga a look that clearly meant she was serious. "If you're serious about this, then so am I."

Helga sighed, relief washing over her. "Thanks Phoebe. You're a good friend..."

Phoebe got up and took Helga's hand in hers. "You're my best friend, Helga. I don't know what I would have done without you."

Helga smiled. "Well, now you don't have to figure it out. And I guess something good came out of this after all." A strange, sad look suddenly overcame Phoebe's features, and Helga noticed. "Pheebs? What's that look for?"

Phoebe suddenly looked stricken, and covered her mouth with one hand.

Helga raised an eyebrow. "Geez Phoebe, you're starting to make me think someone died..."

Phoebe stared at her intensely, and tears started to gather in her eyes.

"...Who died, Phoebe." Helga deadpanned, knowing that she was far too good at this tragic guessing game to be wrong this time.

It took Phoebe a few tries to clear her throat enough to speak. "When you disappeared, your father hunted the streets for you like a madman, posting your picture up everywhere, asking everyone if they'd seen you... About a week into your disappearance, he... Oh, I'm so sorry, Helga. He had a heart attack. He..." She trailed off, but Helga knew.

There had been several points in her life that Helga had been sure she wouldn't be sad when Big Bob died, but she was wrong. The news settled on her like a bed of bricks on her chest. She didn't cry right away, but she felt suddenly cold, and her body shook. She swallowed at a lump in her throat several times before she managed to murmur, "That sucks..." Then something occurred to her, and she chuckled darkly. "I'm surprised Miriam didn't drink herself to death right after." Better double check. "Miriam didn't drink herself to death, did she?"

"She tried to." Phoebe admitted. "But your sister Olga refused to let her. She and Alice have been staying with her to make sure. She threw out all the booze she could find in the house."

"She's still got a stash somewhere." Helga stated. Alcoholics like her mother would always find a way to get her sauce.

"Most likely, but your sister got rid of most of it." Phoebe assured her. "And she's been keeping busy by working in your father's stead, that's helped keep her half-sober during the day hours, at least..."

"She'll still drink herself to death." Helga stated again, and she knew it was a matter of fact. Had known it for years, really. "But I guess I'm glad Olga kept her from doing it right away..." She sighed, and a couple of silent tears overflowed from the corners of her eyes. "And, to be honest... I know it's selfish, but I guess I'm kind of glad I don't have to tell Bob what happened to me... I don't think I could have done it..."

"I understand what you mean, Helga. I wouldn't want my father to have an image like that in his head, either." Phoebe agreed, reaching up behind Helga's head to fluff her pillow. "He passed quickly... I'm sure it wasn't as painful as knowing you were gone." She added quietly.

Helga gave her a small smile of gratitude. "Hey Phoebe... I'm getting pretty tired, but I was just wondering one more thing..."

"Yes, Helga?" The smaller woman asked her eagerly, wanting to anything she could to help.

Helga slowly laid a hand on her still mostly flat stomach. "...If one of them turns out to be a girl, would you mind naming her Inge?"

Phoebe blinked, quickly placing the name in her mind. "I don't mind at all, Helga." She smiled softly, and a little sadly. She didn't know the whole of it, but Helga would tell her later. She still hadn't gotten over the guilt herself, but Phoebe's acceptance made her feel a little better.

"Thanks, Pheebs..." Helga said, her eyes getting heavier. She was always taking extra naps when she was pregnant with Alice, and it seemed this pregnancy would be the same. "You're gonna be a great mom..."

"Well," Phoebe chuckled, reaching down and rubbing Helga's stomach. "I couldn't have done it without you." She sighed contently, flattening her palm over Helga's navel and staring down at her, envisioning already what her future children would look like. She of all people knew she shouldn't count her eggs before they hatched, especially this early in the pregnancy, but she couldn't help but get her hopes up. Helga was alive, so it seemed like anything else in the world should be possible. "Do you want me to tell Olga where to find you? Alice has really missed you. Olga has been taking very good care of her, but she's been crying every day for you, asking where you are. She needs her mommy."

Helga's heart stabbed her with guilt. "I know. I need to see my baby girl too. I can't tell her exactly what happened, not yet, she's too young. I guess I'll have to tell her I was in an accident..."

"It's close enough to the truth." Phoebe supplied helpfully.

"Yeah..." She agreed. "She'll probably put it together when she's older, but for right now it's easier to just tell a half-truth... Are you sure you can handle telling Olga though Pheebs?"

"...I'll call her." Phoebe admitted. She was a smaller woman and her frame couldn't handle the bone-crushing hug she was sure to get from Olga when she heard the news. "I'll let her know to be gentle when she sees you." She added.

"Thanks, Phoebe." Helga smiled knowingly. "When I get out of the hospital we should go out for some real food."

"Definitely." Phoebe giggled and grinned, "After all, you're eating for two - No wait, three now!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


	8. What Are Sisters For?

Phoebe put off telling Olga about Helga for at least a couple hours, to gather her wits after the emotionally disturbing conversation mostly. Then before she pressed call on her cell phone, she put a bit of cotton into her ears for good measure.

The phone rang several times. It wasn't uncommon for Olga to be too busy to answer her phone right away. Phoebe was sure she was about to get her voicemail when someone picked up, and a slightly phlegmy and quiet voice answered, "Hello?" It was Olga, and she had obviously been crying. "Is that you, Phoebe?" She of course knew it was.

Phoebe took the same approach with Helga's emotional sister as Arnold had with her, and ripped the bandaid off quickly. "Olga, Helga's alive." She pulled the phone slightly away from her ear and let it sink in.

At first there was silence, a longer pause than Phoebe expected, and then, as she had expected, there was a shrill cry that turned into several deep sobs. "OH MY GA-HA-HAWD-!" She gasped after the initial outburst and then just simply screamed with happiness, sadness and relief.

Phoebe waited a minute until Olga's cries subsided (she had to stop for breath sometime...) and then she spoke up again, "Olga, listen to me very carefully, okay? Helga almost died. She was kidnapped, and... And raped." Phoebe paused to let Olga gasp and sob some more. "But she managed to get away. She's at the Santa Clarisa hospital and she wants to see you and Alice. But Olga, you must be-" She had been about to say 'gentle', but Olga had already hung up to get her purse and put Alice in the carseat.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Olga had only stopped once, to pick up her half-blitzed mother from work, and leaving a trusted senior employee in charge. After that she sped to the hospital. She too was pulled over by a cop for speeding, but she managed to cry her way out of the ticket, as the cop was a heterosexual male, and virtually no heterosexual male cop will write up a pretty crying girl for a minor infraction.

When Olga got to the hospital, she was quite a sight, carrying the young girl in one arm, and half-dragging her mother behind her with the other. The nursing staff stared as the young woman asked to see her sister, politely but hysterically, then carried her mother and neice down the hall to room 118.

There she finally let go of Miriam and used that hand to open the door, bringing Alice to Helga's bedside, where Helga had been napping, until Olga exclaimed, "Oh Helga! Oh baby sister!"

Helga's eyes shot open and she snorted awake, "Whu-huh?" She blinked, and before she even had the chance to adjust to the light, her vision was blocked by several wet pink kisses. "Aaug, Olga, get off of-" She began, but suddenly, Olga's older, makeup-covered face was replaced by a much younger one - Bright blue eyes with just a hint of green in them, features which were naturally more feminine than her mother's (which ironically were inherited from her father) and golden wheat hair which was plaited into two braids. She'd taken to braiding her hair because it left her locks curly and wavy afterwards, and she was much more interested in dressing up and playing with her hair than Helga had been as a girl.

"Mommy!" The little girl exclaimed, jumping from her aunt's arms and into her mother's.

"Alice!" Helga cried back, gathering her little girl in her arms and hugging her tight, pressing firm kisses all over her face as Olga had just done to her. "My baby girl!" She exclaimed, basking in the feeling of the powder-soft skin on her lips. "Mama missed you so much..." She moaned, tears welling up in her eyes.

The little girl let herself be hugged for a few seconds, then got impatient and wiggled away from her mother's embrace. "Mommy, where were you?" She inquired sadly. "You were gone for a really, really, really long time!"

Helga's throat tightened. "I know, baby. I'm sorry. Mommy hurt her foot and she had to go to the hospital." She explained, her voice thick.

"I'm sorry, mommy. Want me to kiss and make it better?" She offered sweetly, and Helga laughed, gathering the girl into another tight embrace.

"I already feel better now that you're here." She answered serenely, then looked up at her mother and sister. "...Good to see you guys too." She added, a little awkwardly.

"Oh, Helga..." Olga moaned piteously, wiping at her eyes with some nearby kleenex tissues. "I'm so sorry this happened to you again..."

Helga had only been half listening to her sister's crying, focusing more on her daughter, until she heard that. Again. Again. Had she really just said again. She looked over at her sister, who looked surprised for a minute, as if realizing what exactly she had just said herself. Then Olga looked at her. Their eyes met, and it was said without words. They needed to talk.

"Mother? Do you think you could take Alice to the hospital cafeteria and get her a snack?" Olga suddenly inquired of her mother, having to snap her fingers to get the dazed woman's attention, who of course hadn't heard what was just said. She'd just finished the last of her "water" bottle, which was actually mostly straight vodka. She'd been in the deepest depression of her life since Helga disappeared and Bob died. She was drinking more than she'd ever had even if she had to hide it, if not very well after a while. True she did work to keep the majority of the family funds stable, but going to work itself was sometimes a farce to drink. The other employees did most of the work and she just bossed them around, or "delegated tasks", but then, that's pretty much all Bob did too. It just so happened that today was one of her thirsty days.

"Huh? Oh yeah that's fine, I could go for some peanuts or chips or something..." Miriam answered distractedly.

"But..." Alice began, not keen on leaving her mother so soon. Innocent and deaf to adult conversations, she had also not caught on to what was just said.

Helga interrupted her, "Know what, I haven't had a hot cocoa in forever - Alice, do you wanna go get me and yourself a hot cocoa?"

What child on earth will ever turn down a hot cocoa? The purple-clad princess jumped down from the hospital bed and grabbed her grandmother's hand eagerly. "Cocoa, cocoa!" She sang, dragging the drunk elder woman behind her almost as easily as her aunt had earlier.

Once the room was empty but for the two of them, they simply stared at each other for a moment. Then Olga lowered her head into her hands and sobbed.

Helga didn't feel particularly sorry for her this time. She simply repeated, "Again?"

Olga shook her head, as if denying it. Helga repeated herself again, more insistently now, "Again? Olga, what the hell did you mean by again?"

Olga covered her mouth with one hand, hiding the grimace behind it. "H-Helga, I don't think you really want to talk about this now, you've been through so much a-and-"

Helga cut her off, "You don't think I really want to talk about it, or YOU don't really want to talk about it?" She clarified, crossing her arms. "Olga, I was just RAPED repeatedly for WEEKS, forced to work as a slave and pretend that I LIKED it. I shot my own damn foot to get away, then I learn that not only is Bob is dead because of me, but so is someone else - Do you really think after all THAT, I'm too fragile to just TALK about something that happened forever ago? Well maybe I am, sister," She admitted heatedly, "But go ahead, just say whatever you gotta say. Lets get this all over with already. Go on, put the cherry on top this bitch, Olga!"

Helga was sure after that harsh scolding Olga would probably start crying all over again, but she didn't. In fact, she stared with wide eyes at her sister for a rather long time, and just when Helga had been about to try and snap her out of it, she finally spoke up. "Helga." She choked out somberly. "Are you SURE you want to hear this." Her tone and the look in her eyes made it very clear that she didn't.

It was Helga's turn to be silent. After a moment she finally dared to ask, "...Did he touch you too, Olga?" She knew Olga knew who she was talking about.

"No." The older woman immediately shook her head several times. "No, he never touched me..."

"Of course. I suppose he knew I was the only one he'd get away with molesting. Nobody cared about me." Helga added bitterly. "So then, when did you find out about it? And why the hell didn't you tell anyone?"

Olga had the decency to look ashamed, so Helga stayed silent and waited for her explanation instead of going off the handle like she wanted to. "Helga, he... He never touched me, ever. When I first saw what I did, I didn't know what to think. I thought maybe I'd just had a nightmare..." As much as Helga wanted to yell and scream and take out her anger on her sister, hearing her say that caused her to pause. A nightmare. That's just what Helga had convinced herself it was the first few times he'd touched her too. "The second time I walked in on him... His whole body was covering yours, I couldn't even see you... But I heard you crying." Olga had to stop and let a few tears fall herself. "So I pinched myself that time, and it hurt, and I knew..."

Helga's face burned with anger and embarrassment and about a dozen other feelings she couldn't place just that second. "Well, I guess I'm just lucky the smelly, wheezing bastard died of lung cancer, or else he might have gone on raping me for who knows how long, for all the help you were to me."

"Helga, shut up and listen to me." Olga suddenly demanded of her sternly, and Helga was shocked into obeying her. "I DID try to help you, I swear I did. Just, listen to me, please..."

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Arnold had just arrived at the Santa Clarisa hospital. He and his office had been going through the evidence and they had finally found a charger for Donald Smucker's phone. Once it had been charged they went through it, and found texts that indicated that Helga's kidnapping had been a planned hit gone wrong, not a random crime of opportunity. Unfortunately, it was an anonymous prepaid cell phone that had sent the texts, so they had no idea so far as to who had used it. So he brought the phone with him, intending to ask Helga about it, and entered the hospital. The first thing he noticed was a little blonde girl sitting in the reception area, wearing a purple dress with a few chocolate stains on it and nibbling at a half-eaten Hershey bar. She looked rather familiar, and she was by herself, so he couldn't help but approach her.

"Hello there." He greeted her with a friendly smile. "What are you doing here by yourself?"

She paused before taking another bite, "My mommy said not to talk to strangers." She informed him, then bit into the chocolate.

"That's good advice, I'm glad she told you that. That's the advice I give to kids too, because I'm a police officer. Do you know what that is?" She nodded. "Good, wow, you're a smart cookie!" She gave him a big grin for that. "But where is your mommy?" He inquired softly, sitting next to her.

She kicked her legs idly, "She's in the hospital. Gramma took me to go get a hot cocoa, but then she said she had to go to the store real quick. She got me this and told me to wait here until she got back." She explained.

"Oh." Arnold couldn't hide his disappointment. When your job security relied on people getting kidnapped, raped or murdered, you tend not to appreciate people making your job harder by leaving their kids unattended more than the average joe. "I'm surprised she didn't just take you with her if she was just going to the store..." He mumbled, clearly not buying the story. "Well, do you mind if I just sit here until she gets back? I just want to make sure you stay safe. There's a lot of bad people out there..."

The little girl wrinkled her nose and smiled, "I know what to do if a bad guy tries to get me!"

Arnold blinked in surprise. This girl was surprisingly intelligent for her age. "Oh, what's that?"

"You yell real loud," She instructed him seriously, then pointed to her crotch area. "Then you kick 'em real hard there!"

Arnold eyes went a little wide, then he abruptly started laughing. "Th-That's exactly right..." He finally said after the laughter subsided, wiping a tear from his eye.

"And then-" The little girl began, about to instruct Arnold to poke the assailant in the eye and all kinds of other cartoony violence, but then she saw something from the corner of her eye and stopped, and grinned. "Gramma's back!" She exclaimed, jumping out of her seat and rushing over to the woman in question, who stumbled when the little girl hugged her legs.

Arnold stared at the pair in disbelief for a moment, then approached them, giving the older woman a hard look. "Good evening, Mrs. Pataki..."

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"I had just gotten home from college for spring break..." Olga began to explain, "Mommy and Daddy were going to send me to Cancun, but I told them I wanted to stay home. Grandpa had been dying of his cancer for a while by then. I told them I wanted to spend some time with him and take care of him before he passed away..." Olga's eyes had dried by then and her voice was even. It seemed that contrary to everything Helga would have believed, Olga had the ability to shut off her emotions when she needed to as well. "I... I had brought a little something home with me from college for him. I took real good care of him the last few weeks. I made all of his meals... Lots of soup. It was easy for him to eat."

Helga had shut up as she was told so far, but she couldn't help but bitterly remark at that, "How nice of you..."

"It was also easy to hide the cyanide I got from my college chem lab in it."

Helga's eyes went about as wide as they could go, and she looked over at her sister, searching for some kind of sign that she was joking. There was none. Her features were stone cold and dead serious. She went on, "The stubborn old bastard wouldn't quit smoking even after it gave him cancer. He was always wheezing and gasping for air. The chemo made him nauseas. It masked the symptoms of the cyanide poisoning very well, in fact, cigarettes are full of cyanide themselves, he'd been essentially poisoning himself for years, I just gave him an extra dose... Nobody suspected anything, he was already dying, they figured he just died from the cancer. No autopsy was ever done, they cremated him and that was that. He was out of his misery... And so were you."

Helga was pretty sure she could hear her mind blowing.

"S-So," Olga finished shakily, "Now you know, your big sister isn't perfect at all..." Her voice began to crack. "She's a despicable murderer!" She finally sobbed, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks.

Holy fucking hell. Olga had killed a guy. Olga had just admitted to killing a guy, their so-called grandfather. Talk about one hell of a cherry on top. Helga could do nothing but gape so far, but when Olga burst into tears again and degraded herself, she had to sigh. "Olga... You're not despicable. And as far as I'm concerned, you're not even a murderer, not by a long shot. He..." Tears sprang to Helga's eyes as she remembered it, vividly, in that moment. "Wasn't big, but I was tiny too, and it hurt, a lot... It sometimes felt like he was breaking me..." She almost broke down saying it, but she urged on - She had survived so much more since then, it was almost easier to say it now. "And I think he might have, if I had to deal with that any longer than I had to. I might not have been able to have Alice or any other children if I had to endure what he did to me any more times. As far as I'm concerned, you saved us..."

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"Oh... Hello, uh... Who are you, again?" Miriam inquired of the familiar young man. She sipped from a bottle that was labeled as a Yoohoo, but in fact, the Yoohoo had been dumped out earlier and filled with a beer instead.

"Detective Shortman. Arnold Shortman. I'm on your daughter's case. I came here to check in on her - Am I to assume this charming young lady is Helga's daughter?" He began amicably enough, hiding the anger he felt until he got his facts straight.

"Oh-Oh yeah! Oh hey yeah, I remember you now, your Helga's little friend from school." She motioned at him with her bottle. "You're a detective now? Well ain't that a kicker. And yes, this is Alice, Olga's little pumpkin..." She didn't realize she had said Olga instead of Helga, like she never did.

"Mrs. Pataki, may I ask you why you left Alice alone when you went to the store? Is there a reason you couldn't take the child with you to the store?" He asked as soon as she confirmed his thoughts.

Miriam looked a bit surprised. "Well, I just went to get a soda, Olga told me to go get Alice a chocolate or something so she could talk to Helga, or something, I was only gone five or ten minutes..."

"I've been talking to Alice for five or ten minutes Mrs. Pataki, so you had to have been gone at least fifteen. But any amount of time isn't okay to leave a child this young unattended. Especially when her mother trusted her with you when she needed to talk with her sister." Arnold was sure he knew what it was Helga needed to tell Olga, and why she couldn't say it in front of her daughter. "Frankly Mrs. Pataki, considering how your own daughter just got hurt, I can't believe you'd leave a child as young as Alice alone just to get a beer." He could smell it on her, nevermind the Yoohoo bottle disguise.

Miriam's eyes went wide and she sputtered with indignation, "Wha-I was only gone a few minutes, and this is a hospital, nothing like that happens in a hospital! And, well, I thought Helga was stronger than that, geez, she always seemed so tough..." She sighed in irritation, and a few angry tears suddenly came to her eyes. "And what do you know, anyways? My husband just died! He was my whole world, I sacrificed my whole life for him, and now he's dead! I can have a beer if I damn well want to!"

Arnold fell quiet for a moment, and sighed himself. "Listen - I'm sorry about your husband, but bad things can happen anywhere, even to tough adult women, let alone little girls. But nobody is tougher than a bullet, and nobody is tough enough to not need their parents. And I," He gave her a stern look. "Do not want to see something like this happen again, or I will have to report it. Understand?"

Miriam sputtered a little, but couldn't form a proper protest. She simply ended it finally by mumbling, "Geez..." And taking another swig from her bottle.

Arnold sighed, then looked down over at Alice. "Hey, sorry about that, do you remember the way to your mommy's room?" She nodded and tugged on his hand, leading the way.

Arnold let the little girl lead him by the hand to room 118, then open the door for them. He heard Helga telling her sister, "You saved us..." Then she abruptly stopped and stared at the newcomers.

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Helga stared at the door as it opened, unsurprised to see her daughter and Miriam (who looked unhappy and red-faced) there until she realized Arnold was with them. Arnold. Who was a cop now. She snapped her mouth shut and suddenly pulled her sister into a tight hug, wrapping her arms around her and whispering in her ear, "This conversation? Never happened." And as far as she was concerned, it hadn't. They didn't need to know everything that went on between her and her sister. She was taking this one to the grave.

But now was a great time for new subject, and Helga had just the one to make everyone forget about the weird entrance. She wiped her eyes and beckoned her daughter to come to her. "Alice! Mommy needs to tell you something. Everybody else too, but especially you." Alice skipped over to her mother's bedside, and Helga bent over to pick her up and put her on her lap. "You see, mommy has been in the hospital extra long because she hurt her foot, but also for another reason... Alice, do you remember how I told you Auntie Phoebe wanted to have a baby like you?"

The little girl nodded with enthusiasm. She loved babies more than Helga was comfortable with sometimes. Arnold and Olga listened in with interest. Miriam was also half-listening, but she was also half nursing her emotional wounds with her beer.

"Well... Auntie Phoebe IS going to have a baby! In fact, if everything goes well, she might actually even have two!" Alice gasped with delight, and Helga quickly added, "But! Auntie Phoebe's babies... Well, they're going to grow inside my tummy."

Silence fell over the room, and every pair of eyes went wide. The child was of course the only one who didn't realize the implications of what had just been said, but she was the one who had the most questions right away. "Why are they in your tummy, mommy? How come they're not in Auntie Phoebe's tummy? How long are they gonna be in there?"

Helga hugged her daughter, "One at a time, sweetie! They're gonna be inside me for a real long time - Nine whole months. It'll be past your birthday by then. And I'm growing them in my tummy because Phoebe can't grow babies in her tummy. So I'm growing them for her and then I'm going to give them to her when they're ready to come out."

As Alice wrapped her mind around her mother's news, Arnold was doing the very same. He was stunned at Helga's benevolence, and how subtly she had explained the dark situation to her young daughter. It had never occurred to him that she might have gotten pregnant, or that she'd do anything with it but abort it if she had. After being violently raped, she was putting her life at risk to give birth for her childless best friend, and she said it like it was nothing.

Arnold was once again reminded of the last time he had seen Mai Hyunh. The first time she had visited her father she was engrossed with him alone, for obvious reasons, but the second time she'd had the chance to talk to Arnold too. She told him more about how the Christmas miracle had happened that day. Apparently Mr. Bailey had never intended to follow on his promise, he hadn't even given Arnold enough money for the Nancy Spumoni boots, because he knew they'd be out of stock anyways. It was a fool's quest to get Arnold and Gerald to get his Christmas shopping done for him knowing he wouldn't have to pay them back. Then Helga had shown up that night and offered him the ridiculously expensive shoes, which were worth more than four times his Christmas bonus. He'd have been a fool to pass up an opportunity like that for a few hours work, even if it was Christmas. But it was more than the monetary value - Arnold had remembered Rhonda harassing Helga about getting those boots for weeks before and after that Christmas. Helga had given up not just thousands of dollars, but also her pride and chance to shine to make his Christmas miracle come true.

And now, now, she was risking her already compromised health to give life to not just one, but two children conceived by rape, to give her friend the chance to be a mother. He really couldn't believe how such a big heart could be hidden so well. He vowed to find a way to repay her kindness someday.

"-Nold? Arnold?" He snapped out of it, realizing he was being called for. "Geez, Arnoldo, lost in your own head again?"

He grinned, looking down at his old friend. She was hugging her daughter to her chest. Her hair had been cut into a short bob before the ordeal, but had since grown out a bit to shoulder length. It had a slight natural wave to it. She looked really pretty like that, he thought to himself. She looked... Maternal. Or was he just imagining it since he now knew she was pregnant? Either way, he shook his head to snap out of it, and answered her, ever eloquently, "Uh, yeah?"

She grinned back at him, "Yeah, you ARE lost in your own head?" He realized what he'd just said and blushed.

"Sorry, what?" He amended.

She rolled her eyes, "I asked if you needed to ask me more questions?"

"Oh! Oh, yes. But I can come back tomorrow if you want." He offered.

She smiled at him, rocking her daughter back and forth in her arms. "I'm going to be starting physical therapy tomorrow. It's gonna be the first time I've walked on my feet in weeks. Answering some questions might help distract me from the pain..."

"Of course, I can do that." He answered, reaching his hand out towards Alice. "It was nice meeting you, little lady." She smiled shyly and reached out and put her tiny hand in his, and he shook it gently.

Helga watched the exchange, her heart warming. "I'll see you later, Arnold..." She bade him, sorry to see him go.

"See you soon, Helga." He returned, giving her a playful wink before he walked out the door.

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	9. Healing

(( Author's notes: To the first anonymous guest that reviewed chapter 8, I'd like to say thank you for reviewing, and I apologize if I offended you or anyone else in any way. I do know that half-black children don't always look entirely like their black parents - My first boyfriend was actually half black and nobody could tell unless he told them because his skin was almost white, whilst his brother was almost completely black. Helga is trying to convince herself that the children won't look like her because she's trying to distance herself from them because of the rape. I actually plan to have one of the twins look a lot like her and have it bug the heck out of her (eventually in a good way) further down the road. I went ahead and added a bit more in the way of explanation to that part of the story, if you care to go back and read it. Nadine btw is one of my favorite characters because of her beautiful coloring, but also because my middle name happens to be Nadine! Lol~ I apologize again, and I'm glad you're still enjoying the story despite the poor wording in that part. I'd also like to give a big thank you to user Panfla for giving me advice, the story is easily ten times better than it would have been without it. =D

Also, I was rereading the first scene I did with Kelly, and it was bugging me because it seemed like something big was missing, and then it hit me like a brick, duh, the animals! Arnold's house always has a ton of animals. So if you guys care to go back to chapter 6, you'll notice that Kelly's scene is almost the same, just with a lot more animals, lol. Also though I can't imagine anyone having a problem with it, I finally figured out which side-pairings I wanted to represent, and a couple of them are homosexual. If you have a problem with that for whatever reason, proceed at your own risk. The only couple I plan on writing about explicitly is Arnold and Helga, so it's not like there's a hardcore gay scene, only mentioning some characters being gay, but I'm just saying.

And ALSO also, I'm afraid to say the next chapter may take a bit longer to get out, as I'm about to go in for some painful dental work in a couple days, so I'm probably gonna feel kinda icky for at least a little while, but I'll try to post again as soon as I can. Okay y'all, hope you enjoy chapter 9 now! ))

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When Gerald got home from business courses and basketball practice that night, Phoebe had prepared him his favorite Asian smorgasbord - Sushi, dim sum (cilantro chicken wontons, shrimp dumplings, pork and cabbage potstickers...), Korean-style BBQ beef, fried rice and noodles, egg drop soup, and little sugar dusted sweet buns for desert. He couldn't help but be relieved. She'd been sighing over salads most of the time while Helga was gone and Gerald was getting a little tired of it, even though he tried not to show it for her sake. She obviously felt much better than she had in weeks, which in turn made Gerald feel much better as well.

They hugged and kissed for a long time when they met at the door, until Phoebe finally pulled him to the kitchen before the food got cold. Gerald was happy to follow the savory aroma and plopped down at his seat to enjoy it. They ate their meal in a satisfied silence. When there was only one potsticker left, Gerald left it for her to also leave for him, as was their ritual, and spoke up. "So I hear Helga's gonna be alright. I'm real glad to hear it, babe. Nobody deserves something like that to happen to them. You know if there's anything she needs, we're going to be there for her. Or if there's anything you need..." He left it off there for her too. He knew the elaborate meal wasn't just because she felt better, he could tell when his wife wanted something from him, and as far as he was concerned, as soon as she said it, it was done.

So Phoebe gave him the intimate details, she told him everything Helga had told her. Other than the part about her accepting whether or not he consented, she told him everything she said as well. Gerald listened patiently, his eyes widening at some points, and looking worried overall throughout. When she had finally finished, he sighed, and held his jaw on his hand like the "Thinker", like he always did when he was, well, thinking.

Phoebe couldn't but be at least a little worried, even though she tried very hard not to be insecure. Gerald was so famous now, women adored him. Clients of hers, with their beautiful children, had told her how lucky she was to have him too many times to count. She was sure Gerald would never cheat, but he could have any woman he wanted, and with all the scandal about men in his position of power and money and fame constantly in the news, and so many women that desired him, and her recently learning that it was almost certain she would never have children, she was secretly starting to wonder if he could really be happy with her in the long run. Especially when Helga had been kidnapped, and she'd gotten so depressed. He was so supportive of her of course, but she could tell her being miserable was making him miserable too, and she hated that.

Gerald had a good think for at least half a minute before he spoke up again, "We're gonna be there for her, of course. I know we could love these children as our own, and if you want to adopt them I'll support you and them." Phoebe smiled and silently sighed with relief. Gerald had assured her many times after her miscarriage that she was the only woman he wanted no matter what, but it was always assuring to hear it again. "But, I worry about Helga. What she said... I can't help but worry that either way, if they looked like him or like her, she'd be reminded of what happened to her when she sees them and resent them..."

Phoebe nodded in understanding. "I know, Gerald. I worried about that too. But..." She sighed deeply. "She's going to remember the rape every day when she gets up in the morning and looks at her own feet... She's going to remember it when she sees the seafood section in the grocery market. She's going to remember it when she hears about another rape on the news and she's going to remember it for no reason at all. If she regretted the pregnancy that much she would have already gotten rid of it without telling anyone. Deep down, I know she realizes they're part of her, and that's the part she doesn't want to destroy. But she needs to distance herself from the part she didn't want. I think as long as she doesn't have to feel responsible for them, because she wasn't responsible for their conception, she won't resent them even if they both turn out to be boys and look just like him, or even if they look just like her. I really believe that Gerald, I really believe in that part of her. After all, she doesn't regret Alice just because her father was an ass." She pointed out.

Gerald chuckled a little at that, although he didn't actually feel good about it. "Yeah, I guess that's true. Man, that girl's had some bad luck..."

"Yes, but... I think, as long as we support her, and she accepts our support, I think she'll be okay." Phoebe got up from her chair then and walked around the table and behind Gerald, put her hands on his shoulders, and began to massage, instantly causing him to purr in response. "So we gotta take extra good care of her, now that she's carrying our babies..." She firmly kneaded his trapezius muscles, knowing full well that was his favorite move, especially after swishing baskets all day. "Can you believe it, Gerald? You and I are going to be a mommy and daddy after all..."

He relaxed completely into his wife's expert touch. She also happened to be a certified massage therapist - A 6 month course was child's play to her (Helga too, they had actually attended the class together a few years ago, more or less just for fun and the free massages, only Phoebe actually ever worked as a CMT and only for certain privileged clients) and it had proven invaluble with a husband that worked out as much as he did. "Mmm, you're gonna be the best mom ever, babe..." He mumbled back to her, adding, "We'll spoil them rotten, best of everything... And we'll make sure Helga gets new maternity clothes, and you can give her maternity massages - She's gonna need 'em both. With twins on the way, that girl is gonna get big quick and her back is gonna be hurting!" He laughed.

"Poor Helga!" Phoebe exclaimed, but she laughed too. Helga was strong - With a little help, she knew her friend could pull off just about anything, including this.

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Arnold got off work earlier than usual, so he stopped at the pet store and grocery store before heading home - Plenty of bugs, fruits, nuts and seeds for the exotic pets, plus some regular dry cat and dog food, and a take-n-bake cheese pizza for the humans. When he got home, letting Ginger run in ahead of him as usual, Kelly was doing her homework at the kitchen table and Miles was working on his laptop next to her. He greeted them, "Hey guys."

"Hey Arnold." They both said in unison, both looking up from their work to smile at him. After their greetings, Arnold set to work feeding the animals (Cappuccino was sweet enough to offer him some of his banana today - The fruit bats greedily kept their mango to themselves as always) and then putting the pizza in the oven to bake. By then Miles and Kelly had finished their work and put it away, then set the table. Some nights Arnold didn't get home from work until late, some nights Miles, but when they were all home together they made the effort to eat at the table together as a family and discuss things.

When the pizza had been half-eaten, Miles spoke up, "So Arnold, how has work been? You've been awful busy lately."

"He found some dead bodies a few days ago." Kelly supplied, licking cheese grease off her fingers and then tucking her hair behind her ears. It was such a pretty shade, a perfect blend of both her parents' hair colors, people often couldn't tell if it was dark blonde or light brunette. She had also inherited the green eyes that her family was famous for, as well as the distinctly shaped head. "You still haven't said what that was all about, big bro!"

"Dead bodies?" Miles repeated with concern. "Sounds like a big case."

"It's even bigger than that." Arnold answered, deciding now was probably the best time to talk about it, here with the trusted people in his family. "It just so happens that I actually know two of the victims..."

"What!" Kelly gasped dramatically. "Oh my god, Arnold, you didn't mention that!"

"I know, I just did." Arnold pointed out, which earned him a slight smack on the shoulder from his sister.

"Are you alright, Arnold?" His father asked him. "Were you close to the victims?"

Arnold sighed slowly. "Well... Yes and no. The body of the woman I found, I barely knew her, but I remember her being a real nice lady, it's really sad someone as nice as her died like that..." He bowed his head momentarily in her memory. "But then, there's the victim who killed her attacker and escaped, who I've been visiting in the hospital... It just so happens that she's a girl I knew pretty well when I was a kid. She was pretty much one of my best friends. I even dated her for a little while, right before I went back to San Lorenzo with you and mom." He looked over to his father, deep sadness in his eyes. "She's a really, really, just, incredible person, dad, and I've been realizing over the past couple of weeks that she's had to survive a level of pain that I can't even imagine, and not just during her kidnapping, back when I knew her as a girl too. She's managed to be such a great person even though she's been surrounded by ugliness even since she was just a baby, and now she has to deal with this too..."

"Wow." Miled murmured, reaching over and patting his son on the back. "I'm real sorry to hear that, son. Do you think she's going to be alright?"

"I think so. I hope so." Arnold replied, "She's really strong... But, there's so much she has to overcome... I want to be there for her. I hope she'll let me, she's been known to push people away, but I guess I can't blame her now that I know why... Not just her either - Patty. She's getting back from her honeymoon in two more days. She knows her too, and she might have to tell Clemens to take me off the case because of how personal it is to me. I know I should have already dismissed myself from the case because of it, but I really think Helga and I have a special bond even after all these years, and that's the only reason she even told me as much as she has."

"Wait," Miles finally interrupted him, pondering the name he mentioned. "Helga, Helga... You're not talking about THE Helga, are you?"

"Yeah." Arnold answered sadly. "THE Helga..."

"That's terrible, son. I'm really sorry." Miles repeated, slowly beginning to realize the full situation now that he knew who was involved. "Do you... Still have feelings for her?"

Arnold knew he couldn't lie, but he couldn't quite bring himself to say the entire truth of it either. "...I have a job to do." He finally answered, thickly, "It doesn't matter right now what I feel about her, I have to make sure I do everything I can to keep her safe and bring her the justice that she deserves."

"In other words, he totally does." Kelly piped up with a knowing smile on her face.

"Well of course I do!" Arnold snapped at her a little more harshly than he meant to, but then he sighed and immediately apologized afterwards. "Sorry Kelly, but you just don't get it. This was before your time. I have a lot of history with that girl, we had a lot of crazy adventures when we were kids. I can't say if I still have romantic feelings for her," Or rather, he couldn't say he still did so soon. "But I can't say I don't feel anything for her at all, it'd be a lie..."

"Sorry, Arnold." Kelly apologized herself. "I didn't mean to upset you. I know it's gotta be hard to see someone you love like that..." She got up from her chair and briefly hugged her brother's head to her chest. "But even if you do get dismissed from the case, you can still be there for her as long as she wants you to be, right?"

Arnold hugged her back, still fighting back the tears, then nodded as he pulled away. "Yeah..." He quickly reached up and wiped what little liquid had gathered away. It still wasn't time yet. He could cry in front of his family if he needed to, but he didn't like to. He prefered to be alone.

Ginger abruptly came over to him and put her head in his lap, as if consoling him. Miles couldn't help but chuckle, and reached over to pet her. "And even if she doesn't, at least you've still got this lovely lady!"

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When Arnold arrived at the hospital the next morning, Helga was just finishing up her breakfast while a nurse tended to her bandages. The nurse had just finished redressing the foot that was missing toes - Which now included the final pinky toe as well. Hypothermia caused by the cold of that night eventually took it's toll on the final digit and it had to be amputated as well, so now the only toe she had left on that foot was the big one. The other foot no longer had to be dressed in bandages, but the bottom of her sole was severely scarred from the hard trek to survival, having stepped on all kinds of sharp sticks and stones without realizing it. The mutilated foot still had to be bandaged, but it was a thinner bandage now that allowed her to slightly move the foot, although she declined from doing so much because it still hurt.

Two nurses, one a younger latina and the other an older faded redhead, helped Helga into a wheelchair then began pushing her down the halls to a room prepared for physical therapy. They wheeled Helga to a set of waist-high handrails, and the two stood on each side of her to support her as she reached for the bars and slowly began to pull herself up. Arnold stood at the other end of the bars, almost as if he were her goal to reach.

"How do yo feel?" One of the nurses asked her once she'd managed to pull herself to stand on her good foot. They held onto her arms to make sure she didn't fall, and for good reason too. Although she was able to put most of her weight on her good foot, her leg muscles were extremely weak from so little use over the past couple of weeks, and they ached and wobbled.

"It's... Weird." Helga decided after a moment and a few extra steps. "My foot feels really tingly and kinda itchy where the toes used to be..."

"That's phantom limb syndrome, dear." The redhead, with a nametag that read 'Donna' on it, told her. "It's quite common. Should go away sooner or later."

A few minutes later Helga had managed to complete the trek from one side of the handrails to the other. She smiled as she reached him, stretching to stand at her full height, and Arnold couldn't help but notice with just a little bit of mild, pleasant annoyance that even after all these years, she was still taller than him. Not by much, less than one full inch actually, but he still noticed.

Arnold asked the nurses if he could take one of their places in the next round. They consented after making sure he knew all the rules, and he took the place of the Latina nurse, taking Helga's arm in his. He whispered to her as they walked, "Helga, we found a cell phone at the scene of the crime. On it we found texts from Smucker to another person. This other person seems to have hired Smucker to kill you, but he changed his mind and decided to keep you instead." He lightly squeezed her hand, knowing that she hated having to do what she did even to save her life. "Unfortunately the phone the other person used was a pre-paid anonymous cell. So, I need to know, do you know of anyone who would have any reason to cause you harm?"

She let out a huffy breath, and shook her head in semi-disbelief. All this time she had just assumed she just had a run of extremely bad luck that night, that it was almost her fault for leaving the door unlocked for the two to three minutes tops that she had. It actually was a little comforting that there really was nothing she could have done differently that night to protect herself, and it made a lot more sense. Stuck up rich bastard really thought he could buy anything, her child or her life. She didn't even feel sad about it really, there was too many important things to still be sad about. She finally managed to grind out, "Robert Robertson. My ex."

Arnold blinked in surprise at how quickly she'd come up with a name. "You seem really sure about that." He stated.

"I am." She returned, "He's the only one with any reason to do this and the means to do it. He was mad about me getting his custody over Alice revoked... How much?" She suddenly asked, curious to know how much her life was worth.

"Twenty thousand. It's about the standard fee to put a hit on anyone."

She suddenly began to wobble a little on her feet, and Arnold quickly secured his grip on her. Her stomach did a flip, but she ignored it. She was too old for that lovey-dovey crush crap, and she was too pissed off right now besides. "That son of a bitch..." She muttered.

"Don't worry about it. I'm not gonna let him get away with it." Arnold assured her, although he wasn't sure how he was going to do that yet. "Just focus on getting better." She nodded and took another step, ignoring her muscle's complaints.

About half an hour later the nurse proclaimed that Helga had done well for the day and could return to her room to rest. Arnold escorted her there, watching as the two nurses helped her back into her bed.

"You did really well today, chica." The Latina nurse, Bella, told her with a friendly smile. "You should be walking without anybody's help real soon. Take it easy, okay?"

Helga smiled back and nodded, and the two nurses shuffled out and left her and Arnold alone. "Thanks for being here, Arnold... You really don't have to do all this for me." She told him quietly.

He smiled and sat down in the guest chair next to her bedside. "I know I don't have to. I want to." He answered, but he couldn't help but notice she still looked unsure. "Is it... Okay with you, if I'm here?"

"Yes, I'm okay with it..." She answered slowly. "I'm really glad to see you again and I'm grateful for your help... It's just... I don't know, after all these years apart, it feels a little awkward. Do you know what I mean?"

Boy did he ever. "Yeah, I think I do. We went through so much as kids, and then we went so long without seeing each other, it feels weird to see someone again after so long, but feel like you still know the person..."

"Yes, exactly... You're so different, but you're almost exactly the same too." She smiled, a little sadly, and her heart ached. He really was almost exactly the same, except, about twice as handsome and smart and caring as the last time she'd seen him. But she was sure he didn't feel the same way. He was a professional, he was here only for professional reasons, and for all she knew, football head might be married with kids by now. Plus, she knew she looked just terrible.

Arnold didn't agree with her unspoken assumptions at all. Even with all the scrapes, bruises and mutilated foot, he truly had never seen her look so beautiful, and it wasn't just the fact that she had matured into a lovely young woman. After learning what he had about her, he had a whole knew view of her. She didn't just look beautiful to him - She looked powerful, maternal, and even though he knew more about her now than he ever had, she was more mysterious than ever. "Yeah, I know what you mean..."

There was a short silence between them, which Helga decided to break. "Hey Arnold?"

He looked over at her inquisitively, and she went on, a little awkwardly, "When we were kids... I guess I was really crazy for you, wasn't I..." It wasn't a question.

He blushed and smiled, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "Yeah, I guess so..."

"I'm sorry." She added suddenly, "I... I thought I was so in love with you then. I want to believe I truly did love you, but I know now it was mostly infatuation. I know I bugged you a lot. I'm sorry..."

He bit his bottom lip while he thought for a moment. "Well... To be honest, you DID really bug me a lot. But it wasn't always in a bad way..." He shyly smiled, remembering how much fun he'd had tormenting her back for once at the April Fool's Dance. "And, to be honest, I think you did really love me, even if you were mostly just infatuated with me... You did so many amazing things for me, and I probably don't even know the half of it, you were so secretive... You wouldn't have done so many selfless things you did if you just thought I was cute or something..."

Helga smiled shyly back at him. "Heh. I DID think you were really cute, though..." She blushed and cleared her throat, not looking him in the eye after that, although if she had she would have noticed he was blushing too, and his smile had only gotten bigger. "Um, not that you're not still cute, but-" She realized what kind of road she was heading down and had to stop herself. "Look," She huffed, "I think I probably still love you, as a friend. You're still an amazing guy and I'd be lying if I said I didn't still admire you, because you still have all the qualities I admired about you when we were kids, but..." She took a deep breath. "I... I have to focus on taking care of Alice, I can't afford to think about anyone romantically, my daughter is the number one priority in my life, and, well, I'm starting to think me and romance are pretty much like water and oil..."

"I still love you as a friend too, Helga..." He replied surely, looking down at his feet and contemplating her words. He knew she struggled with trying to keep people close and pushing them away. She said she couldn't afford to think about anyone romantically, but she hadn't said she didn't still think about him that way. And it was his spectre that she had seen the night she had escaped. She had still been thinking about him even then. "So, do you mind me asking, as a friend - How did you end up with a guy like Robertson anyways?" He of course respected her devotion to her daughter, he just really didn't understand how she'd ended up with the father.

Oh, sure Helga, just go ahead and tell him how it was because his eyes were almost the same pretty shade of green as his, except, Robert's eyes were more like a peridot and Arnold's were more like if an emerald had a baby with a jade. Not. "I guess I was just naive..." She finally answered after a moment of thought. "He seemed like a nice guy, but it was all an act. His daddy ran his mouth off a few months before we met and said some stupid, prejudiced things, so sonny boy had to act like a liberal on camera for a while to protect their self image and profits. Deep down he was just as prejudiced as daddy. You know, he TOLD me I was the one and only girl for him, and he did marry me, but less than a month after I filed for divorce, three women came forward and told me they were his exes, and every one of them had at least one kid by him. One was a Black woman, another was Asian, and the last girl was Latina. Apparently that was his thing, having a baby by women of all colors, and I was the blonde one he was looking for. Nothing else. He had a pretty new redhead wife lined up less than three months after we split. I was so stupid..." She sighed and laid her face down in her hands, too embarrassed to look at him anymore.

"You're not stupid, Helga." He insisted, reaching over and placing his hand on her shoulder. "He's what we call a reproductive abuser. I've encountered the likes of him before. I'm guessing you were using protection with him but it mysteriously failed?"

She nodded slowly, blushing. "The condoms broke a lot. He said..." She blushed even redder, glad that he couldn't see it with her face in her hands. "He said it was because he was being too rough with them..."

Arnold rolled his eyes. "Condom makers go through a lot of trouble to make sure those things aren't easily 'breakable', no matter how rough you are with them. I'm pretty sure he was poking holes in them..."

"I know he was. Now..." She added, sighing deeply and looking back up. "Oh well... I wouldn't trade Alice for all the world, and now that I know just where he stands, that's all I need to know. I've already got a restraining order against him, but I might just break it myself..." She growled and ground her teeth in annoyance, and it was plain to Arnold that the restraining order wasn't the only thing she was thinking about breaking.

"No, Helga. You need to rest." Arnold laid a hand on top of her hand. "You just let me and Patty take care of Robertson..." He'd take care of that punk alright, one way or another. But, he sighed to himself, it probably would be better to focus on more positive things now. So he searched his mind, and brought up the first thing he could think of. "Oh-You know, I actually saw Lila the other day at a coffee shop!" He mentioned.

Helga smiled, although she wasn't sure yet if she was actually happy about that yet. She'd really grown to love Lila almost as much as Phoebe, but having Arnold mention her made her feel a little sour, just because it always did, almost like a reflex. "Oh?" She inquired nonchalantly.

"Yeah!" He answered enthusiastically. "She told me about how you guys took a road trip to Hollywood, and how you let her take your part in that movie, what was it called - Persephone 88? The one about the spaceship taking humans to another planet that gets invaded by flesh-eating aliens. I watched it a while back ago. It's kinda weird, Lila was never into watching scary movies like that, but then she starred in one." He chuckled. "It was really nice of you to let her take the part..."

"Oh, phooey." Helga dismissed his compliment with a wave of her hand. "The director let me know pretty plainly that if I didn't give her the part myself, he was going to give it to her anyways. We were supposed to have a deal that I would get the secondary lead female role after Rhonda since I wrote most of the script, but we never had it in writing. I knew Lila had money troubles," Of course she knew, she and Rhonda had covered nearly all of her expenses to come with them. "And I didn't, so, I figured it was just the right thing to do." She shrugged, and Arnold was once again astounded at how extraordinary acts of kindness were nothing to this woman. "Plus I did have some other work lined up - Some geeks from the Sci-Fi channel offered me the lead roles in a few of those really campy, low-budget horror movies that always have some weird mish-mash monster. Actually, that's kind of how Robertson met me. Go figure, rich boy has a soft spot for campy, low-budget movies. He came right up to me at the party we met at and went, 'Hey! You're the girl that starred in 'Snake Rain'!', as if it was a big deal..." She rolled her eyes.

"Wait," Arnold blinked at her. "You were in Snake Rain? That movie about raining snakes? I saw the previews for it once, but I never knew you were in it!" He grinned.

She chuckled, "Yeah, yeah... That, and 'Snake Rain 2: Hail of Cobras', RoboShark, Dragonado and Catastrophe... That last one was actually pretty shameless of me, I wouldn't suggest it. It has an ambiguous sounding name, but it's actually a pun on cat, and the plot is basically just the most ridiculous thing ever where evil, superintelligent cats take over the world and crazy cat ladies are their agents of terror and some nerds pretending to be bigshot secret agents themselves have to fight us for earth, it's terrible, really, don't see it. I almost turned it down but they offered me almost twice as much and begged me, literally on their knees, so I agreed. I'm actually allergic to cats but they are cute and I didn't have to actually handle them, they 'shopped them in, so I was like okay whatever..." She seemed to be blushing redder than ever, and Arnold knew he had to find these movies and watch them.

"I'm totally going to find these movies and watch them." He informed her honestly, then white-lied, "Except Catastrophe." He would watch that one and enjoy it for himself and never tease her about ridiculous it was assuredly going to be.

"Y-Yeah, well," Helga replied nervously, wanting him to stop staring at her so intently like he was, and also to never stop doing it. She decided quickly that it would be best to focus the conversation on someone else again. "Lila only starred in that one movie because it was her first debut, to get her name out there, but after that she mostly worked in romantic films. I think she was in a couple movies about horses and a Victorian era piece on the TimeLife channel, then she made a line of clothes for some really rich hardcore fans of hers in Japan... She did pretty well. And Rhonda was in a couple action films and romantic comedies, and I think a movie about cheerleaders, she was a cheerleader in high school. And she modeled all over Europe. She and Harold had a daughter two years ago. Everybody wonders what she sees in him, but he seems to enjoy being her little house-husband slash stay at home dad and waiting on her wherever they go, so whatever it is he's keeping it up..."

Arnold interrupted, "Oh yeah, I did hear about Rhonda and Harold getting married. I wasn't able to go though, or to Gerald and Phoebe's wedding, I really regretted that one. But I saw the pictures, it looked nice."

She nodded, "It was a pretty little ceremony. But yeah, everybody kinda thought Harold was gonna get with Patricia back in high school, but they broke up close to the end of it. Is Patty going out with anyone nowadays?" She figured if he worked with her she might have mentioned it to him.

"Actually yeah, she just got married last month." He smiled a big smile as he mentioned it, "Though, I bet you'll never guess to who..."

She raised one half of her eyebrow in curiosity. "You're right, I can't even imagine. Who?"

"Do you know who Gloria Solsteen is? She went to school with us, though we didn't hang out with her much." Every man at the station was jealous of Patty for her relationship with Gloria Solsteen. When Patty brought something her girlfriend cooked to work, everybody wanted to try it. She kept a flawless home and was always sweet as sugar. She was pretty much the epitome of feminity, the perfect wife, and she was all Patty's.

Helga suddenly choked out a laugh, "What! Oh my god, are you serious?" Suddenly she really was blushing redder than ever. "Oh my god," She repeated again, her laugh turning a little bashful. "Arnold, you wouldn't know this, but... Gloria Solsteen actually had a crush on ME in high school. She confessed and asked me out once, but I had to let her down because, well, you know, I'm not gay. But yeah I know her. Apparently she has a thing for big, tall, butch-looking girls like me and Patty..." She let out one more disbelieving laugh, then sighed contentedly.

Arnold gaped, "Really? Ha, maybe that's why she always dressed kinda like you."

"Haha, maybe?" She shrugged. "I know, I never expected her to be gay, she was so feminine and she did go out with a few boys here and there. She even went out with Stinky once. Oh, and Eugene turned out to be gay too, actually. He's a dentist and he's got a lawyer boyfriend."

"No kidding." Arnold supported his friends and all their personal choices, although he'd never be crazy enough to get his teeth worked on by Eugene and felt sorry for whoever did. Probably was how he met his lawyer boyfriend, now that he thought about it.

"Yup. Curly went to the nuthouse for a while but I think he got out and is doing better. Sheena took after Mrs. Vitello's flower shop and married Sid, he's a cook. Stinky is a farmer, Brainy is a DJ and he worked a bit on the script of that that 'Catastrophe' movie I mentioned and worked behind the scenes in my other films because he stalks me," Arnold raised an eyebrow at that, but she added, "He's harmless though, trust me. Just a real big fan of mine. And Nadine moved away after high school to work as an entomologist and botanist in the Amazon Rainforest. I hear she was really inspired by the trip to San Lorenzo as a kid and always wanted to go back to South America."

Arnold was touched. "That's so great to hear. I'm glad everyone is doing alright..." He reached over and put his hand over hers. "Especially you, Helga... I know we both had to go out and live our own lives for a while, but I never stopped thinking about you. I had wanted to see you again for a while, actually. I really can't believe how close I came to losing you forever..." His throat started to tighten on him, and before he could even try to stop them, tears had come to his eyes. Damn, not here, not now, he begged, but his pleas were in vain. He had been burying his emotions under his work for weeks, and there was too much to ignore anymore. Tears began to stream down his face, and though he tried to wipe them away, they kept coming, almost flowing like a river. "I'm sorry, Helga... I don't want to do this in front of you or anyone else, I'm just... Really glad we're able to talk again like this..."

She felt as if her heart were stabbing her, and without even thinking about it, she reached up and pulled his head down against her chest, hugging him tight. Although it saddened her to see him cry, it made her feel special that it was her he was crying over. "Me too, Arnold. Me too..." She whispered, discreetly smelling his hair as she hugged him. He still used green apple scented shampoo, she was pleased to notice. She remembered how once in their childhood he had used a strawberry scented shampoo, and she had bullied him about it until he went back to green apple. She hugged him a little tighter. He was so thoughtful. He deserved to have someone else be thoughtful of him too.

They stayed like that for a while, long enough for both of them to notice they had been hugging for a rather long time, and still a little bit longer than that, until Arnold's back began to get sore, and only then did he straighten out again. He wiped away the remainder of his tears and smiled down at her through the lingering pain. Finally after a few moments of comfortable silence, Arnold spoke up, "Listen, Helga... Patty is going to be coming back from her honeymoon tomorrow and I'm not sure, but she could make me step down from your case once she realizes you're involved... I want you to know that, if you want me to be, I'd still like to be there for you and be your friend again while you're healing and maybe even afterwards. What you're doing for Phoebe and Gerald, after what you've been through, I think it's really amazing. But I can't help but worry it's a lot for you to take on. I know you're strong, Helga, more than I could imagine. But if you ever need my help, I want you to know you can ask for it anytime."

"Thank you, Arnold." She smiled and sighed and closed her eyes. "To be completely honest, I do feel more than a little overwhelmed. I don't want you to ever feel that I'm taking advantage of you again like I did when I was a child, but I really would appreciate your help, and I'd really like to be your friend again. And I'll try to be a better friend than I was then too..."

"Helga..." Arnold reached out and took her hand in his. "Neither of us knew it then, but you were always one of my very best friends."

Two tears spilled from her still closed eyes. "Thanks. I tried." She murmured.

He petted her hand softly. "I think you need to rest now. I'll come back tomorrow morning, okay?"

She nodded slightly, and he squeezed her hand a little before gently placing it back on her lap and backing out of the room.

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That evening, Arnold visited his local movie rental shop and scoured their sci-fi selection. He managed to find 'Snake Rain' and 'RoboShark', the rest he would have to look for online. He brought it home along with some Chinese take out and he plopped down on the couch to watch it with his family. Ginger made herself comfortable stretched out on Arnold and Kelly's laps, and Cappuccino sat on Miles' shoulders looking through his hair for treats. Miles of course kept himself clean, but sometimes he actually put a few grubs in his hair on purpose for the little monkey to find.

The movie began, and it was indeed quite apparent from the get-go that it was a low-budget film, but it actually wasn't half bad. When Helga's character appeared Arnold held his breath, and for a moment he forgot to let it go. She was playing a French herpetologist, a snake scientist. Her hair was long and wavy in this movie, and they had brushed over one side to cover one of her eyes mysteriously. Arnold stared at her image on the screen intently, trying to figure out why it was giving him such a stark feeling of deja vu. Then it was revealed that Helga's character's name just happened to be Cecile, and it hit him like a ton of bricks. He started to laugh, and Miles and Kelly couldn't figure out for the life of them why.

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	10. A First Step, and a Last

The very first thing in the morning after grabbing a shower and one of his sister's toasts, Arnold set out for Mrs. Vitello's old flower shop. It had occurred to him as we was just waking up in bed that day that he hadn't given Helga flowers, and he decided that he should. And why not visit an old friend while he was at it? He opened the door, flicking an extra time at the bell hanging on the handle as he entered.

Sheena looked up from an all-white arrangement, Arnold guessed a wedding piece, although it could have been something else too, and she broke out into a big smile. "Arnold? Is that you?"

He grinned back, "Yeah, it's me! How've ya been, Sheena? I heard you were running Vitello's flower shop these days!"

"Yes I am, as you see! Oh," She began, then suddenly, a little boy's head of dark hair peeked up over her counter. He looked to be more or less about Alice's age, whatever that was. Five, six? Something like that. Sheena petted his dark hair, "Sammy! Haha, you startled me, I thought you were in the back. Arnold, meet me and Sid's son, Samuel!" She beamed proudly. The little boy waved silently, staring in curiosity at Arnold. He looked a lot like Sid, but he was already almost as tall as his father had been at twice his age. Clearly he had inherited his mother's height.

"Hello Samuel!" Arnold greeted him, waving back. Then just as suddenly and silently as he had come, the little boy rushed into the back again.

"He's really good at sneaking around!" Sheena mentioned, then proceeded, "But anyways, I'm so glad to see you! Lila was actually just in the other day and mentioned that she had seen you!"

"Oh really?" He inquired.

She nodded, "Yes, she actually asked me if I'd seen you, said she was hoping you'd have called or emailed since she last saw you. Been busy?"

"Quite." Arnold nodded back.

"Oh! Well I hope you'll not be too busy late August, you see, Lila's been trying to get in contact with you, but also Phoebe and Gerald and Helga too, because she's been wanting to invite you guys to her wedding! She and Stinky are getting married!" She clasped her hands proudly.

Arnold's mouth dropped. "No way! That's great! Bet Stinky thinks he's one lucky dog to have her."

Sheena giggled and nodded, "Why that's exactly what he said the other day! They're just the cutest couple, I'm so glad Stinky finally got the nerve to propose. I can't wait to see her on her wedding day, she's going to be so beautiful!"

"Definitely." Arnold agreed. "Are these white flowers for her wedding?"

"Oh no, these are actually for a funeral." Arnold blushed. "No, Lila's wedding flowers are going to be much more beautiful than these! Oh, but," She blinked, realizing something. "Are you here for flowers too, Arnold?" She guessed.

"Actually, yes." He affirmed, "I'm actually needing a get well bouquet for a friend in the hospital..." He answered vaguely.

"Oh no! No one we know, hopefully? I mean it's terrible either way of course, but..." She trailed off, looking very worried. Sheena had always been very empathetic.

"Well..." He knew he needed to protect Helga's privacy, and he faltered. It was more noticeable than he'd hoped, especially to a sensitive soul like Sheena.

"Oh-It's not Phoebe or Gerald or Helga is it? Is that why it's been so hard to contact you guys?" She suddenly guessed, and Arnold knew he'd have to tell her at least part of the truth, though certainly not the entirety of it.

"It's Helga." He admitted quietly and quickly, "She, um-Her foot got hurt. She hurt her foot. She'll be in the hospital a while longer, so I'm not totally sure yet if she'll be able to make it to Lila's wedding, but I'll definitely mention it to her when I go visit her..." He hoped that explained enough, ambiguous though it was. But Sheena did seem to pick up a bit on his discomfort and decided not to pry. It was Helga's business, after all, not his.

"Oh, well, what kind of flowers do you want to get her? Lilies, roses?" She asked, redirecting the conversation to the lighter side again. "Since it's Helga am I correct in assuming you'll want mostly pink flowers, maybe with a little red?"

He smiled and nodded, "Sure - And, go ahead and surprise me with what flowers you choose." He looked up at her bouquet prices. There was Regular, Deluxe and Premium. "Make it the premium one."

"Coming right up!" She chirped, heading into the back room. She stayed there for about seven or eight minutes, and he waited patiently, looking around at the many beautiful displays in the front room. When she came back though, she was indeed holding the most perfect one. It was primarily a bunch of pink carnations, and in the bunch she had added three pink lilies, four pink roses, and five red roses. They were wrapped at the bottom with pink paper and there was a vase separate from them wrapped in paper too. She had added a pink Get Well Soon card in the bouquet as well. "What do you think?" She inquired nervously, wondering if he might think the red roses were too romantic for a Get Well bouquet.

"It's perfect." He assured her, grinning. "How much do I owe you?"

She told him it was about forty-five dollars, and he handed her a fifty and told her to keep the change. He added as he picked up the flowers and vase, "I'll call Lila later tonight, okay?"

"Okay! See you later, Arnold!" Sheena returned, waving as he walked out.

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When Arnold got the hospital, Helga was again just finishing up some half-decent hospital breakfast of ham, eggs and oatmeal, but when she spotted him, specifically the bouquet he was carrying, she lost all interest in the rest of it. She stared at the flowers for a moment, a smile slowly forming on her face without her knowing it, then she shyly looked back up at Arnold. He smiled back, wordlessly handing her the bouquet to admire up close. She thanked him quietly, in wonder, while he took the vase, which turned out to be pink in color as well, to the bathroom to fill it up with water at the sink. He added the packet of flower food into the water and brought it back out to Helga's bedside, where she was deeply inhaling the scent of one of the red roses. She couldn't help but wonder if he had picked the colors and flowers himself. Get Well bouquets were usually white or multicolored, this looked more like a Valentine bouquet... Or then again, maybe he just picked her well-known favorite colors, pink and red. It was sweet either way, but deep down she couldn't help but hope it meant even more than it did, no matter what she said about not having time for romance before.

"These are beautiful, Arnold..." She smiled widely, biting her lip to restrain the grin that wanted to come through. How many times had she dreamed of Arnold giving her flowers? Pft, only about a thousand-thousand times, probably. True this wasn't exactly the situation she had always dreamed of, but it was such a big, pretty bouquet, she couldn't bring herself to care. "Thank you so much." She added again, reluctantly handing him back the flowers so that he could put them in the vase.

"It's no problem at all, Helga." He told her honestly, unwrapping the stems and placing them in the water.

"Did you get them from Sheena?" She guessed.

"Yup." He answered simply, then continued, "And you won't believe what she told me..." Her eyes clearly told him to go on, so he did. "Well-Lila's getting married!" He announced suddenly. "To Stinky. Late August." He added. "I'm hoping you'll feel well enough to go by then..."

She was quiet for a moment, looking pointedly down at her feet. Then, her expression became solemn and steely, and she announced herself, "I'm going to that wedding, and I'm going to walk there."

Arnold was surprised and impressed by her will, but also worried. "I really hope so Helga, but I don't want you push yourself too far too fast and hurt yourself more. If you really want to go I'll make sure you can, even if I have to carry you." He offered, smiling serenely.

She laughed mischievously, "Careful Arnold, I might actually take you up on that offer!"

He continued to smile and even waggled his eyebrows flirtatiously. "On my back or bride style?"

She reached over and lightly smacked his shoulder, still laughing. "Oh, stop! We are not going to upstage the bride having you carrying me bride style. I WILL be walking." She resolved.

"Then I'll make sure you can do that..." He nodded, "They said you've been healing really well so far. I bet with a little hard work, and a lot of rest, you will be able to walk to Lila's wedding by late August. Maybe not dancing, but definitely walking."

"Then that means I definitely have to have at least one dance at her wedding." Helga grinned, determined. "Can I count on you to be my lead and not step on my toes? You know, the ones I have left."

"I think I can manage that." He paused, then playfully added, "As long as you don't puke on me, since you'll probably be having morning sickness by then. How has... You know, that been going so far?" He asked, motioning towards her stomach.

"Surprisingly not totally terrible?" She guessed, shrugging. "I had a lot of morning sickness with Alice, I was sick almost every day. Moderate bit of back pain late in the pregnancy too, and I was a lot more tired than usual, but other than that there wasn't much trouble with the pregnancy, and she came out so perfect, I couldn't complain about tossing my cookies for a few months to have her. With this pregnancy..." She stopped and thought about it, tapping her fingers idly on her belly. "Well, it's hard to tell since it's still so early... I've gotten a little sick once or twice but so far that part isn't as bad. I've definitely been more tired than usual, but that might be for the rest of the healing too. And since it's twins, I'm guessing there's probably definitely going to be back pain later on..." She sighed, running a hand through her hair in amazement. "I still can't believe it's twins..."

"I'm really sorry this was forced on you, Helga. But I'm really impressed by how you're handling it." Arnold suddenly told her, feeling the need to. "A lot of people would never even consider doing what you are, they wouldn't have the strength. You're really amazing. Gerald and Phoebe are going to be great parents, and I'm really grateful to you for giving them that opportunity."

Helga blushed and rolled her eyes, again pretending that it was nothing, though they both knew it was the exact opposite of nothing. "They deserve it. It's the least I could do for everything Phoebe's done for me. She did the responsible thing and waited until she was done with school before trying to have a baby. It should have worked out just fine for her, she's still young, she just had some bad luck in the fertility department... So why not turn my bad luck into her good luck..."

She continued to look away from him and his intense stare, his soulful gaze. He was thinking - There she goes again, making miracles and insisting it was child's play, turning misfortune into gold and selling it for the price of copper. Literally taking death and turning it into life. "Yeah... Why not?" He shrugged too.

There was a sudden knock on the door and Nurse Donna peeked her head in. "Are you ready for therapy now, dear?"

Helga nodded and Arnold followed her out as the nurses wheeled her down to the physical therapy room. They again began her normal routine, and with their help she walked on her good foot from one end to the other. After she had done that a few times, she asked the nurses if she could try it on her own. They insisted that she not push herself, but agreed to let her try to stand on her own, but not walk. She gripped the bars with her hands and focused her weight on her hands and her good foot as the nurses gingerly let go of her arms, keeping very close to catch her if she lost her strength. She did wobble a little bit, but didn't fall. Her muscles were weak, but they still worked, and though the nurses told her not to, she hopped foward one step. The nurses immediately grabbed her arms again to keep her from going any further, but she smiled widely, proud of herself for that first step.

When they got back to her room and settled her back down in her bed, Helga requested Arnold to open her window shades up a bit and let in a little light. He complied, returning to her bedside and admiring the new light about her. "You know," He mentioned, "I found a copy of that 'Snake Rain' movie last night and rented it..."

"Really?" She was genuinely surprised. "I woulda thought you'd have to look online. I didn't know movie rental shops even still existed."

He explained, "There's a dinky little video store nearby my apartment. This nice old Chinese guy owns the place, he speaks some English but his accent is so thick you can barely understand him. It's right next to a sandwich shop and laundromat so it always smells like funky lunchmeat and socks."

Helga snorted out a short laugh. "Sounds charming."

"It is!" Arnold insisted. "The owner gives out great advice, when you can understand him. But anyways," He blushed, remembering what he wanted to ask her. "About that movie... I couldn't help but notice that your character was named Cecile, and it got me thinking..."

Helga blinked, suddenly realizing what he was leading on to. She snort-laughed again, hiding her face in her hands. "You finally put it together, huh..."

"So it really was you." He grinned at her, and she felt like she could see it even with her face covered.

"You can't tease me about that this much later!" She insisted, trying and failing to stifle her laughter.

"I'm not!" He insisted back. "I'm not teasing. It's just, really interesting to know..."

"I bet..." She finally pulled her hands away from her face, still blushing. "Sorry. Most parents probably wouldn't let their daughter get so obsessed over a boy..." She sighed, the good mood fading again. "My mom hasn't visited again since the last time you saw her. Olga has - She said that my mom has been avoiding her and staying out late after work, not coming home at all sometimes... Olga won't let her drink in front of her or Alice, but she knows she's been drinking more than ever. She said she asked Miriam if she was even glad I was back, and she said she was, but I know she's not. My disappearance killed Bob. The part of her that loved me has been gone as long as he has..."

Arnold's heart throbbed with pain for her, and he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. He hadn't been sure so far if he should mention what he'd seen the other day to Helga, at least so soon, but he realized the news was not really news to her at all. So he told her, and she sighed at the end of it.

"Damn it... I already knew I couldn't trust her with Alice for extended periods of time, but I thought I could at least trust her for ten freaking minutes..." She rubbed her forehead, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. "Thanks for telling me though, Arnold. And thanks for watching Alice."

"She's a really smart cookie. I bet they will be too..." He mentioned, again glancing down at her stomach.

Helga shrugged. "Well, of course they will be, with a mother like Phoebe..."

"Exactly." He agreed. He knew she knew deep down her role in the life of the children inside of her, but there was no reason to bother her with details she didn't want to hear just yet. "Just remember that you're a great mother too, even if your own mother wasn't..."

She sighed slowly. "It's not that, Arnold... It was hard for me to accept for a long time, but I know I was an unwanted child for my parents. I get why she wasn't always good to me. I just don't get why she can't even be good to herself..." She stared down at her lap, lost in herself for a moment. "I've known for a long time that she's going to kill herself with alcohol some day. It's just a matter of when..."

He reached out and laid his hand on top of hers. "I'm sorry. I wish it didn't have to be that way. I hope your mother can change for the better someday, but even if she doesn't... You're not unwanted just because they didn't want you. Alice wants you, your sister wants you, Phoebe and Gerald want you, and, well, I do too." She blushed, but didn't interrupt him, she didn't dare ask him to specify no matter how much she wanted to ask him exactly how much and in which way he wanted her. "But, I don't just want you to be here. I want you to be happy too."

She smiled through tears welling up in her eyes. "I almost can't believe it, but I really am happy, Arnold. I've never been sadder in my life, but I've also never been happier. I shouldn't be. My dad is dead, Inge is dead, my mother is a wreck, but... I'm happy. I'm alive. I-" She suddenly choked on a sob, unable to go on.

He knew he was needed now just as easily as Helga had known when he needed her the day before. He reached down and wiped her tears away, then smoothed his hand over her hair. "I understand, Helga." He said simply, and she knew he did.

He stayed by her side until her tears ebbed away, and only then did he mention, "I have to go in to work now, but I'll visit you again tomorrow, if you want me to?" He hoped he wasn't imposing his presence.

She smiled and nodded. "And the day after that... If you want to."

"I do. I mean, I will." He added nervously, almost running into the nurse who came in to deliver her lunch. He grinned through the embarrassed blush. "Later."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

When Arnold arrived for work at about noon, Patty was already there, and she had saved one of Gloria's famous breakfast buns that she had brought to work that morning. Arnold gave her a grateful wink before digging in. Donuts just couldn't compare. Gloria made the buttery dough from scratch, baked them to golden brown perfection, slathered them with a cream cheese glaze and dusted them with cinnamon-cardamom-sugar. Patty was always more than glad to let her colleague sample her wife's cooking, because she knew they would come back for more, so it was good for her wife's business, the Sunrise Bakery and Cafe. Arnold was already thinking about bringing Helga a half-dozen on his next visit.

"So, anything interesting happen while I was gone?" She inquired, and Arnold's enthusiastic chewing slowed.

"Funny you should mention it..." He replied, gulping. "Something pretty big actually went down while you were away. But do you mind waiting until we're out of here to talk about it?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. Arnold wasn't usually the type to hide things, but she trusted him. "Sure..." She answered slowly, clearly expecting an explanation soon.

After he was done with his bun, he motioned her to follow him out to their squad car. He got into the driver's seat and started the engine, and once they were driving down the street, he spoke up. "Listen... We had a rape case come in a few weeks ago. She was kidnapped and held captive for almost a month in a cabin in the woods. She killed her kidnapper in self-defense and managed to get to safety."

Patty whistled, impressed. "That doesn't happen often. Lucky girl."

"Yeah, lucky..." He mumbled, turning at a street corner. "And so are we. We know her."

"Yer kidding." She knew he wasn't, but she said it anyways. "Who?"

"Helga Pataki."

"Shit. No way." She breathed, eyes going wide, "Is she okay?"

"She'll survive." He answered vaguely, braking at a red light. "I was assigned to her case. I saw her in the hospital right after it happened. I've been visiting her since..."

"Shortman..." She ground out his surname in a warning growl, as she always did when she was annoyed with him. "I know you know-"

He cut her off, stepping down on the gas pedal as the light turned green. "I DO know! But, Patty, you gotta understand - She trusted me. She told me everything that happened and more. I know I can't convince you, but I really don't think she would have trusted anyone else with what she trusted me..."

"You were the first responder, Arnold." She pointed out fairly. Many victims did bond with their first responders, he knew that already, but it wasn't the same, and he suddenly knew why.

"Patty, I was the first responder for her whole fucking LIFE." He insisted, swerving around a slow driver that was pissing him off. "She told me so. And look, I'll step down from the case if you want me to, because it doesn't matter. I'm going to be there for her either way."

She exhaled a suffering sigh, otherwise silent for a moment as she thought. Finally she blew out another breath, crossed her arms, and continued, "It's not necessarily what I want, Arnold, I'm just concerned. I trust you, I know you're a professional, but there's a reason these rules are in place. I know you want to help her, but what if you end up hurting her instead?"

"Were you worried about hurting Gloria when you were assigned to her case?" He pointed out.

Patty's mouth fell open. "That isn't fair, Shortman. And it's totally different to boot. When I responded to Glora's domestic dispute call years ago, I hardly knew her at all."

"Well, how is it that different? I barely know Helga. It's been almost twenty years since we last saw each other." He had struck a good point and he knew it.

She sighed again. "Alright, alright - I guess I'll wait for you to set yourself on fire before raining on your parade... So where are we going, anyways?"

Arnold let out a breath of relief. "Helga's kidnapper had a cell phone on him and had exchanged texts with an anonymous source to plot the unfinished hit. The lab boys told me the phone was purchased from a Walt-mart here in town, even though they couldn't identify the owner of the phone himself. But Helga said the only person with a motive and the means was her ex-husband, Robert Robertson, and she sounded sure. Here." He reached into the back seat and pulled out the case folder, handing it to her.

She studied the information for several minutes, then sighed again. "See, this is what I was afraid of... If the grunts at this Walt-mart can't remember who bought this cell phone two months ago - And they won't - What then? We don't have nearly enough evidence here to convict him, Arnold."

"We'll do what we can..." He answered tensely, turning into the parking lot of the Walt-mart.

They parked and went into the store, and requested the manager. They asked him who had been working the day the phone was bought, and he led them to a tall, pimply young man in the electronics department, whose nametag read 'Melvin'.

"Hrm... Well, I think I remember something..." He scratched his head and cleared his nasally throat. "There was this guy, he kinda looked like you." He pointed at Arnold. "He bought a bunch of video games with the phone. The total was almost five hundred bucks but he paid with all cash."

Arnold silently swore, although it was unlikely to begin with that he would have been stupid enough to pay with something that had his name on it. Now there was only one chance left. He pulled out a paper that had the photos of six different blond men printed on it, one of which was Robert Robertson, the rest of which were random men from their databases. "Could you point that man out again if you saw him?" He inquired, holding out the paper for Melvin to study.

He stared at the paper intently for several seconds, then slowly reached out, pointing at Robert's picture. "I think that's him..." He began, and Arnold's heartbeat began to speed up, hoping beyond hope. But then, in the very next second, he moved his finger to point at the photo of the man next to Robertson, and added, "Wait, no, it might have been..."

Arnold didn't listen to him anymore. He abruptly crumpled up the paper and shoved it into his pocket, stalking off out of the store. Patty followed after him, but she didn't try to force him to talk about it. She knew he was pissed. They wouldn't have had much evidence to go on even if they got an ID, but it was the only thing they had. Now it was back to nothing. 'I think it was him, or maybe it was that other guy.' would never hold up in court and they both knew it.

Arnold got into the car and slammed the door, resting his head on the steering wheel in exasperation. Patty followed after him, sighing as she sat down. "Alright Arnold, calm down. We both knew that could happen."

"I know..." He replied tensely.

"So," She went on, reaching over and laying a comforting hand on his shoulder, as he so often did for others. "I guess there's only one thing left we can do... I take it you'll want to be Bad Cop this time?"

He lifted his head up slightly and glared out the window at nothing in particular. "Yeah. Lets do this."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

When Robertson came strutting into the police headquarters, somehow still managing to 'strut' with his hands cuffed behind his back, he was smiling, grinning even, and yet it was clear he was not the least bit happy. "Really, officers?" He rolled his eyes. "You really don't have anything better to do today than arrest me for a little ol' joint?" Robertson had been brazenly smoking marijuana joints while driving for years, but only today had he ever been pulled over and arrested for it.

"Nope, not today." Layman, the arresting officer, replied sarcastically before shoving him into the interview room and locking the door behind him. He nudged Arnold with his elbow on the way out, "All yours, Shortman."

Arnold nodded silently, giving Robertson a few extra moments to stew in the interview room, which was lacking any air conditioning as usual, before heading in himself. Robertson had taken a seat to wait, and Arnold took the one right across from him.

"So, seriously? How much is this going to cost? You cops need some new uniforms or whatever, that's what this is really about, right?" Robert scoffed, inspecting his nails, not even looking at Arnold.

Arnold didn't answer him. He stared at him. The wheat-colored hair, the sparkling green eyes. Not a single pimple to be seen. Rich boy obviously spent a lot of money to keep himself looking good, and would of course spend much more to ensure he was free to show it off. He wasn't getting off that easy this time.

Robert finally looked over at him when he realized he wasn't being acknowledged, "Hey, did you hear me? How much do you wa-"

"Shut up." Arnold abruptly interrupted him. "Nobody here wants your money. You're here to answer some questions."

Robert raised a finely plucked eyebrow at him. "Well this is interesting. Don't they usually do the Good Cop first?" He amended. "I'd love to help you if I can, Detective..." He paused to look at Arnold's nametag, then grinned. "Shortman? Hah, sure does fit you." He really had the nerve to say that when he was exactly the same height? What an ass.

"Yeah? You know what I'm thinking fits you, Robertson?" Arnold steeled back at him. "Conspiracy to the kidnapping and murder of Helga Pataki." No need to tell him yet that she was still alive.

Robert paused at that, blinking as if he were actually surprised. Perhaps he was surprised by the accusation, but not by the news itself. "Well, that is certainly unfortunate. But I'm afraid I wouldn't know anything about it. And, do you have any proof behind your accusations?"

"We found a cell phone belonging to the man that you hired to kill her, detailing his orders to take her to the woods and shoot her. It was one of two anonymous cells you purchased. The cashier at that store positively identified your photo among a line up." Also no need to tell him that wasn't totally true yet either.

Robert shrugged his shoulders coolly. "I donated them. I do that all the time. Donate cell phones to the poor, yanno? I try to do what I can for those less fortunate." Of course he did. Smug bastard knew the ropes, he wasn't dumb. He had planned this. Arnold didn't want to let Robert play the little game he wanted to play with him now, even though he knew it unnerved him deep down that he was being questioned at all. "And if it really was an anonymous cell, that would mean that you didn't find my name written anywhere on it... So, besides that, do you have any REAL proof?"

Arnold narrowed his eyes. "You're funny, Robertson." His tone clearly said otherwise. "I know you already know we don't have enough proof, at least, not enough to combat your resources. That's why you hired a hitman, oh, and also, because your pansy ass could have never taken down Helga Pataki yourself. I know you're smart enough to lie and you'll be crying for your lawyer any minute now, but first I wanna just ask you one thing - Why did you even choose her to begin with?" Arnold cocked his head at him and looked really, honestly confused. "With your money you could have had a supermodel. There's plenty of other -blondes- you could have gone for - Why Helga?"

At first Robert puffed up with anger over Arnold's insults and seemed as though he might just call for his lawyer immediately, but then he suddenly calmed down and even smiled. "Why detective, I'm surprised... There's more to a woman than her beauty. Did you know - The famous Egyptian Pharaoh, Cleopatra, historians can never agree on whether or not she was a dazzling beauty, or a hook-nosed hag! Ultimately it doesn't matter, because what she's most well known for was her power, intelligence and especially, her charm. She could walk into a room and everyone in it would soon be listening to her every word. What can I say... Helga was very powerful, intelligent, and charming, and I was in love with her charm... For a while." He shrugged. "But just because I didn't love her anymore doesn't mean I wanted her murdered of course, the poor dear. I really do wish I could help you..."

Arnold didn't realize it, but he was grinding his teeth. He couldn't remember ever being quite this pissed off before. It angered him enough that this shallow little punk had thought so highly of himself as to order the murder of another human being, it was a whole new level to it that the random human being in question just happened to be one of his best friends and romantic interests. But now that he knew that Robert had caught even just a glimpse of the real Helga and her true beauty, and still wanted to harm her after that... Arnold couldn't fathom it, and frankly, he didn't want to.

"Those are some well-chosen words, Robertson." He finally ground out. "Probably almost as good as your lawyer-"

"-Who I'll be wanting to see now."

"That won't be necessary, we're not going to be charging you for Helga's murder just yet, because she isn't dead." Arnold loved to see how wide his eyes went when he told him that. "And I'm personally going to make sure it stays that way... But just one more thing before you go. Do you believe in karma, Robertson?"

Robert looked disinterested again now that he thought he was off the hook. "I see no evidence for it."

Arnold sighed harshly. "Of course you wouldn't... I suppose there's been plenty of times you've done something bad and not only weren't punished for it, you were probably even rewarded for it. But it doesn't always work like that, Robertson. It's not always tit for tat. I think you've got a lot of bad karma coming your way. If I were you, I'd keep my nose squeaky clean for the rest of my life."

Robertson puffed up again. Someone of barely less ego would have already run out the door and thanked the stars for their good fortune, but Robert was nothing if not an egomaniac. "You know detective, maybe you shouldn't be so partial - I can see you've clearly spoken to Helga and so now you're on her side. She's not some poor little victim and it's bullshit that these faggy liberal courts won't let me see MY daughter! She belongs to me every bit as much as she does to Helga!"

"ALICE is a PERSON, she doesn't belong to anyone, but especially not someone like you!" Arnold abruptly shouted back, having had much more than enough of him. "If you really think that contributing a sperm cell puts you on the same level as the person who shared their body and put their life at risk for that person, then raised them while you went off making more trophy children, you're twice as stupid as I thought you were!"

"I don't have to take this!" Robert started to shout, but Arnold cut him off once more.

"You're right, you don't - Get the hell out of here already. You're," He held up his fingers and made sarcastic finger-quotations. "'Free to go'." Relatively speaking. They hadn't had the evidence to get him this time, but the cops in town would have their eye on Robertson until he screwed up again, and when he did, they wouldn't let him go a second time.

Red with indignation, Robert childishly flipped over the chair that he'd been sitting on before stalking out of the room. Patty roughly bumped shoulders with him on his way out, almost knocking him down. He glared but finally did the smart thing and just got the hell out of there without saying any more.

Arnold was leaning his back against the wall with his arms crossed when Patty came in to check on him. His eyes were closed but he knew she was there. "Nada." He told her simply with a sigh.

"Don't let it bug you, Shortman." Patty assured him. "He'll screw up sooner or later. We'll get him."

But he wasn't assured this time. "...What if we don't."

"Then we don't, Arnold. Same as any other case." She reminded him sternly, then added in a softer tone, "It'll work out somehow, man. Just focus on doing what good you can and don't worry about what you can't do."

He nodded mutely, and was silent for a moment more, then finally he looked up and shoved his hands in his pockets. "...I could really go for some Tiramisu and a cup of Joe."

Patty smiled and motioned for him to follow her, "C'mon. You've got to try Gloria's new white chocolate blueberry biscottis..."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Robert went club-hopping that night. He was elated and pissed off at the same time, he felt like doing all kinds of illegal things just for the hell of it, but he actually was keeping his nose clean as he was told. Relatively speaking. He wasn't stupid. His daddy usually paid off his DUIs as easily as parking tickets, but it was just as easy to hire a designated driver until this all blowed over. So Robert got good and drunk and high and coked up as always and didn't worry about the consequences, he didn't give a single thought about stupid, unproven concepts like 'karma'.

Stumbling over his own feet, Robert fell into the back seat of his Benz and ordered his driver to take him to the next club. The driver was a pro, he went the whole night dry as a bone and his driving was first class.

The same, however, could not be said of the -other- drunk driver who fell asleep at the wheel and ran them off the road and into a steep ditch. Robert's driver, the only one of the three that was wearing his seat belt, was the only survivor.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


	11. Forgiveness

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The next day, Olga drove Phoebe and Alice to the hospital to visit Helga, who was skipping her bland hospital sandwich lunch for another one of the amazing cinnamon buns Arnold had brought her that morning. She tried not to look like too much of a pig while Arnold was there and only ate one, but he left the rest for her and she'd already scarfed down two more since he left.

"Hey guys." She greeted her family as they entered, scooping up her baby girl when she skipped over. "Have some buns." She offered with a little smirk.

"Mmm!" Alice promptly helped herself, reaching over to snatch one of the three remaining sweets and settling back on her mother's lap to enjoy it.

Phoebe and Olga declined, tempted though they were. Phoebe sat at the foot of Helga's bed and began lightly massaging her legs, while Olga took the chair, and began, "How have you been feeling, baby sister?"

"Better." Helga admitted tiredly, enjoying Phoebe's massage. Those little hands could go surprisingly hard and strong if she wanted to, but she was being gentle today.

Olga noticed the uneaten sandwich with guilt. "Oh! We should have thought to get you something to eat! You're probably getting tired of all this dull hospital food..."

"Eh, it's not that bad..." Helga half-lied. It wasn't that bad, but it wasn't that good either. "You know what's kind of funny though? I told the nurses not to feed me any fish, I was so sick of eating it for so long. But now I've been noticing these Scarlet Lobster commercials coming on the TV lately, and it actually is starting to make me crave seafood... I guess the babies like fish." She smiled a little and shrugged.

"I know why mommy!" Alice spoke up, sweeter than her half-eaten cinnamon bun. "Auntie Phoebe likes fishies in her sushis, so her babies must like fishies too!"

Helga resisted the urge to cry and instead managed to choked out a laugh, ruffling the child's hair and kissing the back of her head. Phoebe looked a little misted up and her bottom lip wobbled, and Olga simply observed the scene with a big smile. "That's right, honey." Helga agreed, hugging the little girl around the waist. "So I dunno, if you don't mind, once I can leave the hospital do you maybe wanna go there for dinner? They said I can leave as soon as I can walk on my good foot unassisted with a crutch. Maybe another week or two."

Phoebe nodded, "Of course, Helga! I must say, I'm glad to hear you've finally found an appreciation for ocean fare. Maybe sometime you'll feel up to trying my recipe for scrambled eggs and caviar-"

"Not gonna happen, Pheebs." Helga replied cheerfully, faking a gag. "Just get me a crab leg and something to break it with."

"Oh well, I tried." Phoebe smiled and shrugged.

Olga's cell phone abrupted went off, playing some classical music. She pulled it out and was about to press ignore, but then she noticed who was calling. She sighed and answered it, since everyone was already looking at her curiously anyways. "Yes, mother?"

Helga and Phoebe watched in curiosity as Olga listened, occasionally rubbing her forehead and restraining a few sighs. "Alright, mom, I will..." She replied, suddenly looking twice as tired as before. After she hung up, she sighed, "She's asking me to pick up some aspirin on the way home. She must have another hangover..."

Helga sighed right after her. "There's no way she's been off work for more than ten minutes."

Olga checked her watch. "Seven."

Helga took another breath, slower and longer this time. "...I want to see her." No she didn't. She really didn't. But she needed to. Miriam needed some sense figuratively smacked into her. Without Bob around, it looks like the job fell to Helga. She knew chances were better than good that Miriam wouldn't listen to her. She seldom did. There had been a few times Helga or Olga had poured their hearts out to her and told her how much they worried about her, and she might slow down or even stop drinking for a little while, but she always went back.

"Are you sure, Helga?" Olga inquired, worried. "I'll drive her down tonight or tomorrow if you want me to, but I just don't know if it'll do any good... I'm really worried about her this time, Helga. I've already tried talking to her, she won't listen to me." That actually was pretty damn worrisome, if Miriam wasn't even listening to the perfect sister anymore.

"No I'm not sure, but just do it for me, Olga, okay?" She implored, and her sister nodded. "It's not like I can make things any worse than I already have..." She added solemnly.

Phoebe and Olga looked at each other, worry etched on their features. Then Phoebe rested her hands on Helga's knee and looked at her, "Helga, what are you talking about? You haven't done anything wrong..."

Helga hugged her daughter a little tighter. "...I guess not. I guess there's nothing else I really could have done, but... I know Dad would still be alive if my disappearance hadn't stressed him out so much. I know she probably resents me for it and doesn't want to talk to me, but I'm still her daughter..."

Olga got up and took Helga's face in her hands, forcing her to look at her. "Don't say that, Helga! It's not true! You know Daddy has had a bad heart for years, it's not your fault! He loved you so much, Helga..." Tears streamed down the older blonde's face and her voice cracked. "When you disappeared, he blamed himself too. That's what really killed him Helga - And I'm not going to watch you do the same thing!"

Helga was speechless for a moment. For a minute she felt like she was going to cry too, but she had cried so much lately, it didn't seem like there were any tears left, only a dull, dry ache in her heart. "...I just wish I could have said goodbye, or something..." She mumbled.

Olga leaned her head on Helga's and wrapped her arms around her in a light hug. "I didn't get to say goodbye either. We can do it together. We'll bring him flowers together when you get out, okay?"

Helga just nodded, her throat too tight to speak anymore.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Later that night, Olga drove her mother to the hospital. There was no guarantee she'd be sober in the morning, and taking her to the hospital ensured she wouldn't be drinking for the time she was there (Olga had not let Miriam bring her own "water" this time) so she didn't bother waiting until then. When they arrived, Olga urged her mother into the hospital room and then left her there, taking Alice with her. Before Miriam could go after her older daughter, Helga called out, "Miriam? ...Mom?"

Miriam turned towards the voice, really looking at the girl this time. She hadn't had anything to drink for a few hours, the first time in months. The first time she had visited her daughter she was still half asleep from the car ride there, and much more enebriated than Olga had thought. This time Olga had forbidden her from drinking from the moment she got home, and had a long talk with her while Alice played in her room alone. It was a sobering talk that Miriam couldn't forget no matter how much she drank. She had been in a sort of dream-like trance since Bob's funeral. She'd cried her eyes out once, and had been emotionless since. Until tonight.

Though Olga trusted the nittiest of the gritty to her stronger younger sister, she sat Miriam down and explained sternly that Helga needed her to be stronger than she had been. To Olga's shock, Miriam actually revealed to her that she hadn't believed what she'd seen with her own eyes days before, and thought for sure that Helga was as dead as Bob. Olga had taken a good full hour to explain to her mother and get her to believe that Helga was indeed still alive before taking her to the hospital to see her.

Now the aging woman stood shivering, still several feet away from her junior. Helga couldn't help but glare at her. "Miriam, I can't even walk yet. Will you sit down and stop giving me that look as if I'm going to kill you? I promise I'll resist the urge." She rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"H-Helga..." Miriam gulped, finally daring to approach. She sat down in the guest chair, but looked as if she wanted to bolt from it at any second. "How are you, honey...? Are you okay...?" The words fell from her mouth as mechanically as paper from a printer, as if she really couldn't think of anything better to say. She really couldn't. Or she couldn't bring herself to say what she, deep down, knew she needed to.

"...I'm fine, Miriam." Helga finally decided to grind out. "Nothing I couldn't handle. You know me. I'm tough. I always needed to be."

Miriam blinked, still trying to feign blankness. She was convinced there was a black hole in her heart and that it would swallow every part of her if she accepted this was true. But then a tear slowly slid from the corner of her eye, and whatever was left behind those eyes took hold of her voice. "I'm sorry, Helga..." More tears began to leak, and more memories repressed by alcohol began to play in her mind's eye. "...For everything."

Helga continued to glare at her, even more so when she realized she was leaking tears now too. She hated crying, even when she really needed to, but she hated looking weak in front of someone as weak as Miriam especially. She couldn't believe sometimes that she had really once been an Olympian. All that potential, wasted, just to be miserable with her. "Everything, huh. There's an awful lot of everything, Miriam, would you care to be more specific? Wait, let me guess - How you always clearly loved Olga more than me, how you constantly ignored me and sometimes forgot I existed - Guess you wanted it to be true so bad-"

"I'm SORRY, Helga." Her mother repeated, grinding it out harshly herself. "I'm sorry I... I just can't..." She gasped and rubbed at the trail of tears with the back of her hand.

Helga exploded, sick of her excuses, "Tell the truth, Miriam, you can at least do that! You never wanted me then, and you don't want to be here now!"

Miriam's wet eyes went wide, the truth shocked out of her. "Helga... I swear to god I really do love you, I don't blame you for anything..." She insisted. "...But no, I never wanted you. B made me have you hoping you'd be a boy. I might have left Bob a long time ago if you hadn't been born. Or maybe not... I don't understand why I never felt quite the same way for you that I did for Olga, honey, and I really am sorry, but I just never did... I really tried to be a mother to you but I just never felt like one. I understand if you hate me for it. I hate me for it. I really am sorry..."

Helga wasn't sure how she'd feel when she finally heard that. She'd known for years, so she wasn't surprised or saddened. In fact, she actually felt a little relieved. It made her realize that her decision to keep but also give away the children inside of her was a sound one. She would give life, not extinguish it, but she really could never be a mother to these children, and she wouldn't try to pretend like Miriam had. "...Okay, Miriam. Thanks for letting me know. You don't need to stick around here if you don't want to."

Miriam stood up from her chair immediately, but then paused before leaving. "...I'm sorry." She repeated. "I really do hope you... You know, get well soon..."

Helga sighed. "You too, Miriam..." Miriam heard her before she left the room, but she pretended she hadn't.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The next few days Arnold had been assigned an overwhelming workload and had been unable to make his usual visits to see Helga, though he had texted her to let her know as much in advance. Helga tried her best to understand - She really did, but after talking to Miriam, she felt like she needed him more than ever, and that allowed the seed of doubt to sprout. As much as she told herself that she didn't expect anything of Arnold, her heart ached for him just as fiercely as it ever did. There was a saying she had heard of once - 'Love is like the moon, unless it grows, it wanes.' Helga's love for Arnold had long ago reached a plateau, but it had never descended. Her heart and soul was still full of love for him and now that he was back in her life, the tides of her hidden feelings were constantly threatening to overflow.

Did he still feel the same way about her now that he did then? Did he feel anything at all that he used to feel for her? Surely he had to, probably, possibly? Or was he just doing this because he was still the good-hearted fool he had always been? Would he leave her as soon as she had healed, as soon as he was sure she could stand on her own two feet again? She never wanted him to feel like a crutch to her again, but she needed him so badly she truly felt as if she would collapse if he left her again.

In his absence she tried her best to focus on other things, especially Phoebe, who was kind enough to bring all the luxuries of home to her hospital bed. Phoebe had always been so kind and nurturing, and it comforted Helga to know that she could finally do something to give back to her friend. She woke up in the middle of the night sick to her stomach, but instead of blaming or regretting the hormone multipliers that were causing it, Helga gently rubbed her still mostly flat belly and mumbled to herself, "You're going to make someone very happy after you're done making me miserable..."

But she was miserable, still stuck in her hospital bed constantly, only in contact with the outside world through her visitors, she felt trapped. On top of that she woke up that morning especially grumpy due to a sudden bout of cramps. The nurses assured her it was one of the many common ailments of pregnant women and to not worry about it.

She tried not to, but she worried about it. Pain was never a good thing, was it? Not that it could be avoided. She'd been in so much emotional pain, she'd cried several times more once she found herself alone, usually at night. Usually over Arnold. She was so pathetic, so typical. She'd just escaped a gruesome murder, facing the possibility of a risky and difficult pregnancy, and she was sad about what a guy thought of her. Sure, it wasn't just any guy... But that made it so much more painful. Arnold wasn't perfect by any means, but he was so perfect to her. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted anything else in her life, she always had and always would. But what did she have to offer him except for her personal problems, her constant dramas? Her complexes, her soiled body? It broke her heart just thinking about it.

So she tried not to. She focused on Phoebe, who visited whenever she could and lavished Helga with attention and goodies to keep her extended hospital stay bearable. She also focused on her therapy, which she was improving at every day. She'd finally gotten to the point where she could manage to go short distances on her crutches without assistance, although the hospital insisted on keeping her until she became steady enough on her good foot to walk longer distances. But at least she didn't need anyone's help to go to the bathroom anymore.

Which was good, because Phoebe hadn't been able to visit that day either, and all the nurses were busy, so Helga decided to take it upon herself. She used her arms to pull herself up and scooch towards the edge of the bed. Her crutches rested at the foot of the bed. She gathered them to her sides and focused her weight on them before making the trek across the room to her tiny personal bathroom.

She rested the crutches against the sink and did her business without even thinking about it. However, when she had finished and begun to clean herself, the sudden sight of red on the tissue made her freeze in terror.

It all came at her at once, everything negative that had happened over the past few months that she'd been trying to deal with a little at a time, she suddenly realized it might all have been for nothing. Many women might have resented a pregnancy under such circumstances and would be entirely relieved to have it gone, but to Helga, it was the only saving grace of what she'd had to go through. She suddenly realized how foolish it had been to announce the pregnancy so soon, and she was filled with horror at the thought of having to tell Phoebe, after getting her hopes up like she had. She couldn't bear to do that to her best friend, to be so useless after everything Phoebe had done for her. Inge had died for nothing, Bob had died for nothing, and now Phoebe's babies were dying for nothing. She couldn't stand it.

Shakily she got up on her good foot again. She rinsed her hands with water only, hardly realizing the motions she was going through at all, so lost was she in her own thoughts. Then she opened the door and gasped in shock. Arnold was standing right there.

"Oh, hey, sorry - I knocked, but you must not have heard." He explained awkwardly.

She stared for a second, her heart jumping all over itself, but not for the usual good reasons it did when Arnold was around. Right now it felt more like the organ was trying to hang itself by one of it's own valves. She ground her teeth and hopped past him, muttering, "Go away..." She couldn't bear to see him or have him see her right now, it was the worst possible time, but she was too emotional to think of a better way to explain it to him.

"Huh?" He was obviously confused, and worried.

He reached out to touch her shoulder, but before he could even follow it with an inquiry, she violently wrenched away from his touch, gentle though it was, and screamed at him, "I said get AWAY from me!" It was another of several bad ideas made during a moment of even worse judgment, and one of her crutches fell on the floor after she snapped at him, throwing her off balance. She almost fell over, but Arnold managed to rush forward and catch her around the stomach. Normally she would have been grateful and swooning over his embrace, but her cramps were getting worse and she could feel more blood starting to flow. She thrashed and shoved at him until he finally relented and let her go, though not before lowering her to the floor as much as possible so she didn't hurt herself. When finally left to herself she gathered her face in her hands and sobbed, "Damn it, I'll never forgive you if they die!" It made no sense and was extremely unfair, and she would have known that in a better state of mind, but she wasn't in one just then.

Arnold was still severely confused, but this statement seemed to give him a clue, and then he noticed a spot of red on her hospital gown that he hadn't before. He truly felt bad for what Helga was feeling and going through, but he was also righteously angry with her. "HELGA." He addressed her very sternly. "You KNOW I had nothing to do with this! It is NOT my fault!" He felt a little better after getting that out, and managed to calm down. "You need the nurses to help you. I'll go get them, but first... Helga, look at me." He bent down on his knees beside her. She didn't turn her whole face towards him, but he could see was glancing at him through the corners of her teary eyes. "I told you before that I want to help you, and I really do... But I can't do that if you push me away. PLEASE don't push me away again..." He implored.

At first she didn't respond, so he got up with a sigh, intending to go get help. Just as he was about to leave the room, she called out, "Wait-Arnold, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, and I won't do it again, I just... I think I need to be alone today..." Her voice cracked and she doubled over, clutching her stomach as a particular bad cramp stabbed at her. Her heart felt even worse though - How could she have treated her angel like that?

Arnold didn't say anymore, he rushed out of the room and got a nurse.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Helga had very mixed feelings the next day. On one hand she actually felt a lot better - After her doctor had examined her, he proclaimed that both the twins were still in perfect health, hearts beating strong, and that the blood had simply been a case of hormones. He assured her that even though she'd had no bleeding during her first pregnancy that it was not uncommon, in fact, it was more common for twins and other multiple pregnancies.

She was immensely relieved and so was Phoebe after hearing about the situation, but at the same time, she couldn't have felt worse. Arnold had been so terribly good to her, and she lashed out at him. She couldn't blame him if he never wanted to see her neurotic ass again. She was really depressed that morning when he didn't show up as usual. She was convinced that he had been reminded yesterday of why he'd left her behind to begin with, and would probably never be coming back.

She was never more grateful to be wrong. He came in later that evening, although his arrival was much more quiet than usual.

"Hey Arnold..." She greeted him carefully.

He smiled back at her, so understanding. "Hey Helga. Is everything alright?" He asked her just as carefully.

She smiled back, knowing what he was really trying to ask. "Yeah, they're fine. Just some excess hormones apparently. I guess I freaked out over nothing..." She sighed, "I'm so sorry, Arnold. I wasn't thinking straight."

"It's okay, Helga." He assured her. "Anybody else would've freaked out, too."

"I won't do it again." She repeated, worried that he might not really believe her. "I promise... I haven't been like that since I was a teenager... It's gotta be these pregnancy hormones that are doing it."

"I'm sure it is. Don't worry about it, Helga. I forgive you." He reached out and laid a hand on top of hers, and she shifted her hand upside down so that she could lightly squeeze his fingers. "By the way..." He added, squeezing her hand back and pulling out his phone from his pocket with the opposite hand. "I don't know how you'll feel about this, but I saw it in the news, and I figured you should know..." He explained vaguely, pressing a few keys and then handing the phone to her to inspect.

His phone had internet and he'd opened it up to a local news article. The headline read, "Robertson Heir Killed by Drunk Driver", and her eyes immediately went wide. She scrolled down, then sighed and shrugged. "C'est la vie." She announced simply, handing the phone back to him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, though he already knew the answer.

"You kidding? The bastard tried to kill me. Serves him right." She relented, "I mean, I guess I'm a little worried about how Alice will take it... But she only spent a little bit of time with him, and she's still pretty young... Still, I suppose it'd be selfish of me to think she won't have any feelings about it. I had an almost okay father figure, so I can't say she'll be better off without him..."

"She will be." Arnold assured him, quite sure of his statement himself. "She's a really amazing girl." She smiled, about to thank him, when he added, "I bet my sister Kelly would love her, although, Kelly was just about as different from Alice as anyone could be when she was a baby. Born out in the jungle and all, she was a wild child. She pretty much refused to wear clothes at all until she was about Alice's age and she loved playing in mud." He chuckled.

She bit back a big grin herself. "I know, I really don't get where Alice gets it. A lot of people have mistaken her for Olga's daughter, she looks more like her than me. Sometimes I get kinda jealous about it." She admitted. "But she's just always been like that. I actually dressed her up in blue and other neutral colors as a baby but as soon as she was old enough to pick for herself, it was all pink and purple from then on. She's got so many Barbie dolls, some of them are doubles of the same doll, and her dollhouse is bigger than her crib was. I can't watch wrestling around her either, she'll cry."

Arnold laughed, "Stranger things have happened, I'm sure!"

She was sure of that too. Arnold was still here, after all that she'd done and all that he knew about her. That was about as strange as it got. Neither of them noticed until much later when Arnold realized he had to leave, that they had never stopped holding hands the entire time.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

(( Author's notes: This chapter was very annoying to write, sorry it took so long! XD;; Also I fiiinally managed to draw a half-decent Helga/Arnold pic! It's got very slight spoilers for a future chapter, but nothing too bad. I also hired an awesome artist for a HA commission too, and as soon as it's done I'll let you all see how sweet I know it's going to be. X3 In the meantime though, you can find the link to my not so awesome or sweet H/A pic on my profile. Hope you like it, and the chapter! ))


	12. The Thirst

Phoebe visited the next afternoon, bringing with her a bowl of her amazing wonton soup. In addition to the meaty chicken wontons it was full of healthy vegetables, broccoli, carrots, peas, squash, baby corn and mushrooms in a spicy lemongrass broth. After eating it Helga felt more healthy and invigorated than she had in a long time. It certainly made her feel less sick than the tired old sandwiches were at this point. She felt up to talk after her meal too, and Phoebe was always up to listen to her. Helga hadn't mentioned to Arnold what her mother had said the other day. After putting him through what she had she didn't want to bother him with more sadness, and instead they'd focused on happier memories that day. But it nagged at her deep inside, and it was obvious to Phoebe. So she told her what her mother had said, and what she'd done to Arnold, and how the angel had forgiven her for her moment of weakness. Phoebe nodded in understanding throughout the talk and by the end of it she gave a great sigh.

"Oh Helga..." She lightly moaned, patting her friend's hand in sympathy. "You've been through so much, anyone with half a heart would understand you didn't mean what you said then. Of course Arnold forgave you. The bigger problem is YOU stressing yourself out!" She scolded.

"I know, Pheebs. I've just had to come to terms with a lot of stuff the past few months... But I'm just, so ready to be done with it all now, you know?" Phoebe nodded and Helga continued, "But... I'm also pretty nervous about what's ahead, now that... You know." She finished lamely.

Phoebe nodded again. "Right. Ice cream."

Helga's next sigh was a rather theatrical one. "My sweet vanilla bean!"

"So you're still into him?" Phoebe wasn't the least bit surprised.

"My life is consumed by him." Helga groaned in return. "I'm such a basketcase. He's going to turn on his heel and run once he realizes it. Who on Earth keeps pining after a guy this long?"

"Someone who is really in love with him, probably." Phoebe answered for her. "And I can't say I speak for him and what he feels, but I really don't think you've got him pegged out either, Helga. He wouldn't have done half as much as he has if he didn't feel something for you too."

"I need to know if he does. But I could never ask him..." Helga twiddled with her thumbs in her lap and avoided her friend's eyes.

Said bespectacled eyes rolled themselves. "Oh Helga, you emotionally repressed loon - Have you forgotten I'm married to his best friend? I could just ask Gerald to talk to him..." She offered.

"Ooooh no, Pheebs. No way no how. You are not telling him. Don't you dare say I had anything to do with it if you tell him." Helga said all in a rush.

Phoebe smirked and snickered behind her hand. "Got it, Helga."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

So Phoebe talked to Gerald about it, of course all under the guise of "I'm asking for a friend of a friend who wants to know..." but of course Gerald knew exactly who she was talking about. He in turn suggested that said friends spend a little more time together to work out their feelings for themselves before anyone else stepped in, and Phoebe agreed.

A few more days passed and Helga was finally cleared from the hospital, and she still had a little over two weeks until the date of Lila's wedding, which she'd emailed her to let her know she'd definitely attend. She probably wouldn't be walking there without her crutches, but she would walk there.

Olga drove her home and she spent the whole first morning playing with Alice and her dolls, since she couldn't go walking around much anyways. Even though she'd never been into dolls even as a girl, she was overjoyed to spend time with her daughter after being apart from her for so long. Although it was a bit annoying that she'd had to install a lift chair to get her up the stairs to get to her room. Oh well, better than risking a fall.

"Here mommy!" Alice announced, handing her mother a blonde doll in a pink dress. It was named Helga. All of Alice's favorite dolls were named after people she knew. She had another blonde doll she had named Olga and a black haired one she called Phoebe. She also had two male dolls in the sea of females, a black one named Gerald and a blond one named Arthur, named for a boy she had played with at a park once. They had just been playing with the Phoebe and Gerald doll, but she had gotten bored with them and decided to switch dolls. "You be Helga, and I'll be..." She pondered over her pile of dolls, and finally, she picked up the blond Ken doll. "I'll be Arnold!"

Helga's eyes went wide. "H-huh? Sweetness, I thought his name was Arthur..." She knew it was, because there was another doll named Gwenny who she usually always paired him with.

Alice looked a little guilty for some reason. "I know... But I like the name Arnold better! So he's Arnold now, okay?"

"O-Oh, okay..." Helga replied lamely, playing her part as best she could with this new information. It was just a doll. Alice had bonded a little with Arnold while at the hospital and had decided to name a doll after him, big deal...

She had her Helga-doll go into the kitchen area of the dollhouse and pretend to cook. Then Alice brought the Arnold-doll into the kitchen too and exclaimed in as low a voice as she could manage, "Mmm, that smells good!"

"Thank you, Arnold..." Helga replied putting a little plastic plate on the doll table. "It's your favorite, peanut butter and strawberry jam!" Alice did not share her mother's allergy and loved strawberries. Helga had to wear gloves every time she made her a PB and J just in case the jam got on her hands, but it WAS her favorite, so she made the sacrifice.

"Mmm, thank you, Helga!" Alice replied, smashing the Arnold-doll's face against the plate for a couple seconds. "That was SO good! Will you marry me?" She suddenly blurted out.

Helga burst out into a full-face blush and dropped the doll. "...Hey, I've got an idea!" She reached for her crutch to pull herself up to standing. "Why don't I make you a REAL peanut butter and strawberry sandwich?"

Alice gasped and dropped her doll too, "Yay!" She exclaimed, forgetting her little doll drama and running down the stairs.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Later that evening, all in their Sunday-or-any-other-day-best (It just so happened to be a Friday) the rather extended group of Arnold, Helga, Olga, Alice, Phoebe and Gerald, as well as Miles and Kelly, met each other at the Scarlet Lobster. Helga was wearing a mostly red dress tonight (with some black and gold accessories), she just felt like it, whilst Alice had chosen to go pink tonight, Olga in green, Arnold and Phoebe in blue, Gerald in a stylish red suit with black and white trimmings and his signature sneakers, because of course some people would be snapping photos of him discreetly with their phones when they realized who he was, it was unavoidable. Kelly and Miles had also dressed in mostly blue, Kelly in a feminine blue dress that was rare for her, she was usually the shirt and pants type. Miles was wearing blue jeans and a dark hunter green shirt. Olga and Miles were sitting across from each other, as were Helga and Kelly, Alice and Phoebe, and lastly Arnold and Gerald.

When they settled at the table, Alice content with a few crayons and a blank picture of a cartoony smiling lobster and clam to draw. When Helga asked her what she actually wanted to get for dinner (because she knew she wouldn't want any seafood) the girl offhandedly shrugged and answered in a bored tone, "I dunno, a cheeseburger and fries I guess." And Arnold (who was sitting on the other side of Alice, who was between him and Helga) couldn't help but see a bit of her mother coming through in her. Or maybe the pink dress was playing tricks on him. Either way, the rest of them ordered too, and Helga got an especially varied seafood sampler platter as well as a lobster to go with it, which no one commented about, though everyone was thinking, 'Eating for three'.

Olga was telling Miles about the various exciting places she'd been to and things she'd done during her college years and after, and Kelly was telling Helga how moved she'd been at the part in RoboShark where she'd sacrificed herself to save her lab partner and gotten her arm bitten off by the RoboShark, and confessed her, until then, secret love for him in his arms as she bled out to death. Gerald had been telling Arnold and Phoebe about a promising new teammate while Alice colored until she finished the picture, then she waited patiently for a good time to interrupt and show them.

"Look, I made the lobster rainbow colored!" She announced, and sure she had, as much as she could with the basic four red, blue, yellow and green crayons she'd been given. "And I made the clam purple, because red and blue make purple!" She explained, and the some of the red and blue squiggles on the clam shape did indeed look purplish.

"That's great, sweetie." Helga smiled and patted her back, as Alice had expressly forbidden her from ruffling her hair tonight, which she had Olga do into a curled up mess that made it look like the tyke was going to prom or something.

"Hey, that's really creative!" Arnold went on to praise her.

Phoebe shifted her glasses, "You're getting better at drawing in the lines too!" The little girl had indeed kept the colors mostly in the lines, with only 3 or 4 minor mistakes.

By then their meals had arrived and everyone dug in. Helga had almost begun to feel reserved before she took her first bite of fried fish strips, but Arnold had ordered a a crab bisque soup and a side of steamed clams, and he began with the clams, which were even messier than anything Helga had ordered sans the lobster. So she felt less reserved about looking like a messy slob and dug into her own food, and also, she rather -needed- to focus on her own food, because watching Arnold slurp down clams was a dangerous thing for her to do...

When everyone was starting to feel sated, Miles spoke up, "So Helga, Arnold ordered some of your other movies on the internet and we were thinking about watching one tonight. Anyone who wants to come over and watch it with us is more than welcome!"

Gerald and Phoebe had to get up early in the morning so they declined, but Alice insisted she wanted to go see the animals Kelly had told her about in one part of the earlier conversation, so Helga and Olga agreed to go over and take her.

When they got to the Shortman's apartment, Miles showed the group in. It was a humble spot just big enough for all of them. The front door led into the living room, the kitchen was just around a corner. A hallway led to two rooms on the right, Kelly and Arnold's, a bathroom and a laundry room they shared was at the very end of the hallway and to the left of those two was the master bedroom, which Miles slept in.

Kelly got all the cats together into her room so they wouldn't bother Helga, then she showed Alice and Olga to the birdcage that Scarlet and Shaula shared in her room. Miles headed to the kitchen to pour everyone some non-alcolic cider. As Kelly, Alice and Olga were heading into Kelly's room, Helga was about to join them and thought Arnold was too, but instead he slipped his arm around her waist to gently hold her back. When she looked up at him questioningly, he glanced forwards towards his room. Mutely she mouthed 'Oh', and then followed him there.

Butterflies fluttered, somehow making her full stomach feel light as she entered his room. It was a bit smaller than his childhood room had been, but not by much, and it was just as interesting as he had ever been. There was his bed, covered in teal green sheets with midnight blue pillows, and a mahogany drawer set across from that. The far corner of his room had a large space taken up for a large glass aquarium tank, which was not filled with much water, but various plants and wood. On one of the larger planks a rather large lizard, an iguana, was perched under the heat lamp looking lazy and content.

Arnold approached the tank while Helga looked around at the rest of his room. He opened the tank and gathered the lizard, a lazy thing that was almost more like a cat than it's draconic ancestors, into his arms and brought it over to Helga for her to observe. "When I brought him here from the jungle he was just a baby. He's gotten a lot bigger since then. I thought you might think he was neat, since you had a lizard once, remember? The monitor lizard?"

She reached out to pet the scaly creature, then stopped in a jolt with her hand on it's back. "O-Oh, oh, yeah, I remember that little guy now..."

"Little?" Arnold laughed, "He was almost twice as big as Greenbean here! Don't you remember? He ATE that parrot I found, the one that recited that weird poem that..." He trailed off suddenly, remembering that poem again. Then it seemed to hit him, recognition lit up in his eyes and he looked back over at Helga. "...I'm going to keep discovering new crazy amazing things about you all the time, aren't I?" He blushed deeply as one verse in particular crossed his mind, that one verse that had thrilled and baffled and embarrassed him all at once when he was a boy, and still did exactly that now that he was a grown man. 'Arnold, you make my girlhood tremble, my senses all go wacky... Someday I'll tell the world my love, or my name's not...' Oh, Helga. Helga G. Pataki.

"I swear to God I didn't get the lizard just to eat the bird!" She quickly assured him, "Actually that was just a really lucky freak accident, to be honest..."

Despite how bad he still felt for that poor bird, he still couldn't help but laugh. "What did you do with the lizard after that?"

"Actually, I kept it." She shrugged. "For a little while, he only lived for a few months after that. I took good care of him but I guess he'd been at that pet store for a really long time and was already pretty old. I spoiled him while I had him though." She smiled fondly and petted Greenbean. "He could be kind of tempermental sometimes but he was a fun pet. I couldn't have cats because of my allergy, but he was kind of like a big, scaly cat. He sometimes wanted to be left alone and he sometimes wanted to be pet. He wasn't used to affection but he'd had so little of it, it made sense..." She clearly identified with the animal, for obvious reasons.

"It's nice he got to go to a good home at least once before he died." Arnold mentioned, feeling a little sorry for the creature, but mostly still consumed with curiosity about that verse from her poem. "H-Hey, Helga? Can I ask you something?"

"You just did." She winked. "But go ahead."

He blushed, "Um..." His mind raced to put the question he wanted to ask in an appropriate way. "I was just wondering, about that poem you wrote - All the poems you wrote, actually - Do you still write poems anymore?" He temporarily derailed his own topic due to nervousness. "I read your book," He motioned to a nearby desk, where a copy of her book sat. "I was hoping there might be more..." It was so hard sometimes to talk to Helga, but when he read her words all of the awkwardness was gone and only her true feelings and thoughts remained.

Helga went from cheeky and flirtatious to shy and awkward in a second. "O-Oh, that old thing, ehehe, well, I guess I've written a few more things since then, but nothing worth sharing..." The poems that had made it into her book were all the kid-friendly ones, all those that remained in her journals at home were the ones that ought not be read in public, no matter what your age. It wouldn't do to have Arnold reading THOSE thoughts of hers. "And, I dunno, I guess I haven't really felt as inspired as I used to..." She mentioned, averting her eyes from the greatest source of her inspiration.

"Why not?" He asked, his eyes trying to follow hers.

"I just don't!" She snapped at first, then quickly softened her voice, "I just... Don't feel the same way I used to back when I was writing all that stuff..."

He stared at her for a long moment, "Helga..." He began, readying himself to 'pull off the bandage' so to speak. "I don't want you to feel pressured to say or do anything about it if you do, that is, if you don't want to. But, I've been wondering... Do you still feel anything like you did back then, about me? Do you still, you know..." Girlhood tremble... "Like me-Like me? Do you still want me how you did back then?" He clarified, hoping he didn't sound too childish. "I know it's been a really long time since then, but I thought about you all the time. Like I said," He quickly added, "You don't need to say if you do, I don't expect us to pick up where we left off, but, well... I've been thinking about it lately..." He admitted quietly, a blush on his cheeks. It was pretty embarrassing and nerve-wracking to ask something like that, but Arnold knew that if he didn't ask, Helga probably never would. She probably was still convincing herself that he didn't really feel anything for her, even after all the hints he'd been dropping her.

Helga's eyes widened and her heartbeat quickened. Her mouth open and fell twice before she could muster up the right words and the will to speak them. "Arnold... There's something you need to understand, because I don't think you really do..." She finally began, even more quietly than him. "To say I wanted you back then... It'd be like saying that a person lost in the desert WANTS water. I never merely wanted you... I fucking thirsted for you, Arnold." Her blue eyes locked onto his, daring him to understand the method of her madness. "And you want to know if I still do? I could never not..."

His breath caught in his throat and he stared into her piercing gaze, until the lizard began to squirm, and he excused himself to put the creature back away in his habitat. As he was closing the door to it, he mumbled back to her, "Um... So then, do you want to do anything about it...?" He shyly peeked over his shoulder back at her, only to gasp lightly realizing she was nearly right behind him, still staring at him with all that intensity, that thirst.

"Do YOU want me to do something about it?" She asked him, enunciating every word very carefully. Her heart was pounding, every part of her was shaking, but she was surprisingly very much in control. She actually had deep down somewhat expected that Arnold might feel this way, bu she still wasn't sure quite yet what to do about it. It was actually a matter of what she COULD do about it, what she could or couldn't offer him. She added carefully, "Do you really want to encourage someone like me, Arnold? It'll still be a few weeks before I even know if I'm clean or not..." She couldn't bear to get her hopes up and then never be able to share the love that she felt for him.

"Yes, I really do want to encourage you, Helga." He answered surely. "We never have to do anything you don't want to, but, yes, I do want you to want me, to love me like I know you do deep down, and I want you to act on it if you truly want to..."

"...Okay," She finally nodded, warmth spreading over her body. "I'll... Keep that in mind. Because I do really want to... I just can't yet." Her disappointment was apparent in her eyes, even though she was smiling serenely. "I know it's about more than just sex, but neither of us can pretend that ain't no big thing, either. I want to share that too and I can't until I know..." She trailed off there.

"I understand, Helga." He nodded up at her, "I just need you to tell me if and when, and I'll be there for you. Or just tell me if you don't, and I'll leave you alone."

She remembered how foolish and callous she'd been to push him away days before and felt the need to rectify it, and she gathered one of her arms around his shoulder, letting the crutch fall onto his bed. She squeezed him securely and deeply breathed in the scent of faded aftershave on his neck. Arnold silently enjoyed the feeling of her breath on his skin and returned her embrace just as tightly, soaking in the affection and the soft warmth of her body.

"Hey Kids!" Miles suddenly called, pushing open the door which had before just barely been ajar. "The movie is ready to play, are you-" He cut himself off as he watched the two quickly separate and pretend they had never been so close, though both craved to have that warmth back again.

"Yeah Dad, we'll be there in just a second." Arnold answered him bashfully, waving him off.

"Right!" Miles answered before he ducked out of the door.

The two stared at each other shyly for a moment, then Helga finally cleared her throat and asked, "S-So, which movie are we watching tonight?"

"Oh, that 'Catastrophe' one..." He answered dismissively, before realizing what he'd said.

Helga groaned, but was grinning too. "I thought you weren't going to watch that one..."

"Sorry," Arnold grinned back at her, "I was curious, and it was the only one I hadn't seen so far. Come on, at least you can defend it in person yourself now?"

Helga shook her head and rubbed her brows. "Trust me Arnold, nobody could defend that thing..."

When everyone finally gathered together to watch the film, Helga's prophesy indeed came true. She truly let her insanity reign in this part, she was diabolical and ruthless to her enemies, but surprisingly submissive and fearful of her feline overlord Fluffy who commanded her. Throughout the movie she is shown being trailed by a mysterious shadow who both foils her plans and saves her on several occasions. Towards the end of the movie it was revealed that her stalker was none other than her real life stalker, Brainy, who in this movie was playing the part of Secret Agent Hunky. To his surprise and Helga's mortification (she hid her face in her hands at this part) the two even shared an on-screen kiss before teaming up and saving the world from Fluffy together.

Though it made Arnold a little uncomfortable to watch the scene, he found he wasn't very jealous at all. Helga's kiss with Brainy might have been convincing to the untrained eye, but Arnold knew better. Though it had been a while, he still remembered what a real kiss from Helga Pataki looked like, felt like, even tasted like, and that wasn't it, although it did give him a craving for the real thing.

By the time the movie had ended, Alice had fallen asleep and Helga scooped her up into her arms to carry out to the car. She paused before she headed out of the door though, and shyly told Arnold, "So, um, I guess I'll see you at Lila's wedding... Or, you know, maybe sooner, if you want..."

"Just say when and where." He replied with a smile, "You've got my number after all... You can call or text me anytime."

"O-Oh yeah..." He'd given her his number quite a while ago, but she'd been too much of a wuss to actually use it so far. "I'll do that... See you later, then." She smiled nervously as she ducked out, and after shaking hands with Miles, Olga followed her out.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


End file.
